Rehersal Dinner Ettiqette

kristen4083

So here is my delemia...

Of the 129 invites to the wedding 98 are from oot and/or in the wedding party which means that they would be invited to the rehersal dinner.

So my fiance father has budgeted 3500 dollars and we thought that wouldn't really be a problem and that we wouldn't even use all of this money until I crunched the numbers today. It would be 4600 dollars if 75 percent of the 98 come to the rehersal.

I can stay within budget if we have a "rehersal lunch" or splurge and try and talk his father into giving up the extra dough and take the risk that more than 75 percent would come and have it at night.

I was just wondering how Emily post would feel about this....

Thanks in advance for all of your help:)

Kristen

kmf218

I wouldn't ask for more money. 3500 dollars is a lot of money for just a rehersal dinner. The way I see it you have 4 options. 1) cut the list down to wedding party only. 2) Try to find a buffet style restaraunt. 3) do the lunch (most likely ur best bet) or 4) do what I'm doing. 

I have about half what you have and my FI and I are paying for it ourselves. We priced 7 restaraunts and all were way over budget and got us seriously considering not having one at all. Our parents talked us out of it and we all brainstormed and came up with having an hor d'oruvres style dinner at our house. We are going to make simple things like bacon wrapped shrimp, meatballs, fried rice and ham balls, mini garlic bread with pesto sauce, fingure sandwhiches, potatoe saland, maccaroni salad and a few other goodies. My mom and I priced out most of it and we will be saving a couple hundred dollars and we can make a lot of the food a head of time and reheat it the day of. Both my grandmothers and his grandmother have agreed to help us reheat and precook everything and my neighbors even volunteered their kitchen and fridge to store things in. Our house isn't very big but we have a nice backyard and if people want to they can swim. The more my FI and I think about it the more fun it sounds. Our families get a long really well so it will most likely turn into more of a pre-wedding party than a rehersal dinner lol. I don't know how in formal you want to be but doing something like this can save you a lot of money and it will give everyone a chance to break the ice before the wedding. If you don't have a house to host it at you could always go to a local park. 

kristen4083

I agree about not asking for any more money. I think that what we are spending now is stupid but his father is insisting on one plus we have already paid the deposit and he is paying for it and fortunately for us he has the means. However you did give me a great idea!!! I could do it at night and just have tons of finger foods and open bar. I will check with our venue to see if this is an option. Thanks so much for this great idea and by the way I love the idea of having them all over to your house. Sounds super fun, just hope it doesn't stress you out the night before your wedding:) Good luck with everything and thanks for the terrific advice:)

kmf218

Your very welcome!  I was initially stressed out about doing it at our house because it was just going to be my mom and I but when both my grandmothers and his grandmother stepped up and my neighbors gave us free reign of their kitchen and my mother and I wrote out the menu I relaxed a lot lol One of my BMs moms even offered to help so having the big support system has calmed my nerves tremendously. 

Doing just the finger foods will save you tons of money and you might even be able to add in desserts as well

Depending on how much the deposit was you might be able to convince your future father in-law to get hor d' oeuvres catered to your home, that way you might be able to save him even more and not have to go through the hassel of making everything yourself. If you like the idea of one giant party that is lol 

It fits my FI and I really well. We love to host parties and our house is always where everyone wants to hangout at. We are even having a big bachelor/bachelorette party at our house but we are getting sandwhiches and wings from a local restaraunt for that lol

Kristin789

The RD is to thank those people in your WP who have unplugged from their own busy lives to plug into your life for this weekend.  Those are the people invited to the RD.

I have heard some knotties talk about inviting OOTs but I don't know anyone who ever DID.  I have never heard of this in real life - the RD is for WP + spouses or significant others.

I suggest that you cut the number 98 way back to your WP plus one, and then you don't have a money problem anymore.

ames61583

Most of our guests are also coming from out of town, however we have decided to keep the RD to wedding party only (and the parents of the jr bms) because we simply cannot afford to host 2 dinners with that many people. We are holding the RD on the outdoor terrace of the hotel we are getting married at bc most everyone is staying there. After the RD is over, we are inviting everyone else down to "celebrate our last night as singles", so that we can hang out with everyone else too, we are not hosting bar for this, but if you could afford to, that may be an option.
We are doing welcome bags for everyone staying at the hotel, so that is where we are writing to come and celebrate with is.
Hope that helps!

KrystalsKitsch

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-west-coast_rehersal-dinner-ettiqette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:62Discussion:e9ccd018-105f-4a6c-8739-9e553af6f0b5Post:68109fb7-6683-4626-8a60-c2c14a20e667">Re: Rehersal Dinner Ettiqette</a>:
[QUOTE]The RD is to thank those people in your WP who have unplugged from their own busy lives to plug into your life for this weekend.  Those are the people invited to the RD. I have heard some knotties talk about inviting OOTs but I don't know anyone who ever DID.  I have never heard of this in real life - the RD is for WP + spouses or significant others. I suggest that you cut the number 98 way back to your WP plus one, and then you don't have a money problem anymore.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

This is a great idea. We just invited our wedding party and their dates. No one from out of town seemed to mind -- they met up with us later that night!

financialdiva

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-west-coast_rehersal-dinner-ettiqette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:62Discussion:e9ccd018-105f-4a6c-8739-9e553af6f0b5Post:68109fb7-6683-4626-8a60-c2c14a20e667">Re: Rehersal Dinner Ettiqette</a>:
[QUOTE]The RD is to thank those people in your WP who have unplugged from their own busy lives to plug into your life for this weekend.  Those are the people invited to the RD. I have heard some knotties talk about inviting OOTs but I don't know anyone who ever DID.  I have never heard of this in real life - the RD is for WP + spouses or significant others. I suggest that you cut the number 98 way back to your WP plus one, and then you don't have a money problem anymore.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

This exactly. No need to invite every OOT guest.