out of towners

futureMRSDarling2012

Ok so were from Michigan and at inner tonight we came across the idea of a florida beach wedding because we absolutely love the ocean an are consiering moving ther with the next few years. The more I think about having a huge gathering here the more I don't want to... most of our family we only see during the hollidays. What is everyones thoughts on having the people we care about most (parents, siblings close friends) come to the gulf coast for a small gathering? I'm unsure how people would feel about it...if they would care about paying for a plane ticket an hotel for the night...

has anyone been in this boat before and if so what do you reccomend? We have been together for 9 years and cannot wait to be married!! We are just really unsure about spending a fortune on a reception here at home for people we only see during the hollidays.

Are we required to pay for people rooms/plane tickets? Obviously we would provie food! OPINIONS PLEASE thx!

kmf218

Hmm...I guess I am in a similar position family wise anyway. The last time I saw anyone on my moms side was 3 years ago at my cousins wedding and other then that we only see eachother at funerals and talk through an occasional Christmas card. The only people on my dads side I know are my grandmother, and 2 great aunts (at least I think thats who they are, no one has ever actually told me how they are related lol I just call them by their first names) My FI on the other hand has a big family that is really close. I talk to his aunts and cousins more then my own. I am inviting people on my dads side because my grandmother insists (i.e. my grandfather, step aunt, and a few cousins) her big thing is that they might send money, (apparently my other great aunt is loaded) I personally dont care, I have gone 23 yrs without their money so whats another day but to shut my grandmother up I'm sending the invites. 

Heres where my wedding got tricky, and there is a point, I promise lol. Ill try to write this as simple as possible. My FI and I originally planned to have a small wedding and pay for it ourselves. We got engaged April of 2009 and chose to pay for it ourselves bc my parents and sister moved to georgia so my dad wouldnt be out of a job and bc of that they were tight on money. No big deal, we told them we could do it ourselves. My FI store redid their manager positions and bc the store was small his positions technically didnt exhist so we moved into my parents old home with my FI friend to save money and my FI transfered stores. My FI friend got a job he couldnt refuse in DC so he moved and we had the house to ourselves. We were able to save a couple thousand then my brother lost his job and the house he was renting burned down, so he and my nephews moved in with us and we used the money we had saved for the wedding getting the kids school supplies, clothes, and redid the garage bedroom for my brother. Because of that we post poned the wedding. The farther into last yr it got the more and more it looked like we wld have to push it back again. Last summer my parents came to us and told us they cld help us pay. So the wedding was back on for this year. My FI mother and step father also agreed to pitch in some money as well (def didnt expect that). Long story short, now that we have the money to invite my aunts and cousins my parents want to do it and since they are paying I cant really say no. I dont mind having the big wedding its the drama I cant stand. All of our relatives are out of town so we most likely wont have more then 100....hopefully lol My point is if having a small wedding here is what you want then go for it!

I dont see anything wrong with you having your wedding here in Fl. A lot of people have their weddings outside of the towns they live in and one big reason for that is to save money. They know a lot of the relatives they dont see on a regular basis wont come, that doesnt mean they dont want to go its just how it works out for most. If you and your FI do decide to have your wedding here I do suggest that you call hotels close to your venue to try and get the best rates possible for people. If you end up having a small number of guests then I also suggest you pay for a day of adventure for everyone, its not a must and it doesnt have to be anything super expensive either, but it is an extra gesture of thanks and the guests that do come will appreciate it. You do not have to pay for the plane tickets. Some do pay for their parents air fare but its not required. I hope this helped. Good luck!  

futureMRSDarling2012

Props to you for helping out your brother and his son! Sometimes things in life happen and things get postponned, an its awesome that your guys families helped so you didn't have to postpone again!

If we chose to have a wedding here there will be closer to 200 hundred people which is why we are thinking of going to Florida for the ceremony... I wouldn't care if there was a reception or not because chances are we would still have one here. So were really not saving a lot of money if we have a gathering here as well... IDK... lol! I've changed my mind about things so many times! I found a senior citizens activity center to rent for $750 and a caterer that is $11 pp, a photographer that is $750 and a dj for $650 so it's not like we would be spending a whole lot of money anyways... We would just really love a ceremony on the beach! Maybe I will just arrange engagement shots in FL when we go down to visit my mom.  We have a lot to think about, but were wanting june 2012 so we need to figure thing out ASAP! haha

Where abouts in FL do you live? We want to look around Estero because thats where my mom lives but I don't know which areas are nice, expensive whatnot... We have a house here but will probably start with an apartment there just to make sure we love it as much as we think we will What affordable complexes are around there that we could look into?

ellentravis

We live in Chiacgo and are getting married on St Pete Beach in Feb 2012. We can't wait. As you know, it's cold up here, and everyone is very excited to travel to the beach in Feb! Especially since St Pete Beach is so affordable compared to NYC and Boston (where my family is from) and Chicago, where our friends are. His family's in mid-Iowa, and that's just not an option.:)

We're inviting people long in advance and have been telling them for 6 months that we're getting married here so they have time to make their decisions and save money for travel. We've let them know that Chicago costs a fortune and we're saving them money by getting married here. And while we're not paying for anything (room, travel) for them, we have put more money into a nice reception/great DJ/extra hours of open bar at the Tradewinds, because we figure that whoever makes the trip for us deserves to have a good time. So that's the way I feel we've made things sort of "even", and I know that whoever comes really wants to be there.

I hope that helps. If not, feel free to ask any questions you have. 

ChrislovesBarry

My fiance's family is up north and alot of them aren't coming to the wedding because of finances.

ellentravis

One thing I want to add is that you do need to expect that not everyone will make it. We made a point to check with our top people (grandparents, parents, siblings, uncles, aunts, first cousins and wedding party) to make sure they would be there. Once they said yes, we felt we had the green light. But you have to know who you're willing to give up. If your uncle can't be there, you should make sure you know in advance of putting down the deposit in case you're not OK with that  

kmf218

Thank you, he has always been there for me so I felt blessed that I could be there for him and its definitely nice that my FI mom is pitching in bc we didnt expect it.

 My FI and I actually lived in the Fort Myers/Estero area for 3 years (we both went to FGCU (great school! lol) ) The one place we loved living and spent the longest time at was Cypress Legends at the Forum. We lived in one of the town houses with a friend and it was perfect! The complex is only a few years old, they allow pets and its right in the middle of everything. We considered having the wedding in fort myers but then we moved but before that I looked into a few places like the Colonial country club and another country club south of estero but they were both really expensive. That area in general is expensive to live in but Sanabel Island has some of the best beaches in Florida. 

My FI and I are living north of Tampa now and we are getting married at The Riverside Venue. Its great and right in our price range. Its off the Anclote River so no beach but the plus side is we are getting married on the roof lol They have a newly remodeled rooftop deck that over looks the historic sponge docks and the anclote river. I am really excited about it! 

If you want to stay close to your mom I would check out places near Fort Myers Beach or Sanabel Island ( the only down side with sanabel is that there is a fee to get on the island, last time I went it was $6, which isnt much but it could be an unexpected cost for your guests so you might want to consider paying it for them)

 I personally love Siesta Key in Sarasota or Clearwater Beach in Clearwater (north of tampa) A lot of brides here are getting married on clearwater beach, we wanted to but we have a few guests that have trouble walking or are in wheelchairs so we decided against the beach ceremony. 

Im sure what ever you choose will be great! It sounds like you have most of the hard stuff figured out lol I personally think that if a beach ceremony is what you and your FI really want then go for it and if you do I can give you the name of a super inexpensive photographer for your ceremony pics 

teachermegs

We live here, but almost everyone that we invited was from out of town. We had 50 people and was so happy. We got to see people for a long weekend. Many made a vacation out of our wedding.