New York

Need reassurance...

So I've known some information for the past week, and I can't stop worrying about it, so I'm looking for your input.  You can tell me if I'm being silly, I won't be offended.

My best friend / MOH told me last week that she's driving from Albany to California and back for a month of cross country fun.  Yay!  Right?  The problem is, her return date is Memorial weekend.  2 weeks before my wedding.  Yay?

I'm worried about her well being, it's such a long drive.  I'm worried that she'll be in an accident, or robbed, or lost for days in Utah... told you I'm being silly lol.  I just wish she chose to go after the wedding :(

So then I started worrying about what we need to do together before the wedding.  I think what she really needs to be around for is her dress fitting.  I guess I can pick out other finishes.  She had offered to take me out for my bachlorette party, hopefully that doesn't change.

Can you ladies think of anything the MOH would typically do within the last 2 weeks?  Or even things that we should do before she leaves?  I'm really happy for her trip, but could use some reassurance from you that everything will work out fine.  Thanks for reading my semi-vent!
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Re: Need reassurance...

  • edited December 2011
    Ok.  This might be a little harsh... so prepare the big girl panties.

    This...
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_need-reassurance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:621Discussion:0148ec07-85bc-45c7-9da2-c4c97deec4b3Post:46490fef-9a6a-43c9-9894-6a660bb434e1">Need reassurance...</a>:
    [QUOTE] I'm worried about her well being, it's such a long drive.  I'm worried that she'll be in an accident, or robbed, or lost for days in Utah... told you I'm being silly lol. <strong> I just wish she chose to go after the wedding :( </strong>
    Posted by kks4471[/QUOTE]



    Came out really bad.  I don't think you meant it how it came out, but just so you know... I read this as... I care about how this is going to affect me.  Not awesome.

    TBH- my MOH showed up 2 days before my wedding.  She lives in Michigan and has a life, a job... etc.  I was actually just thrilled that she could make it, period.  She came, in the right dress, kept me sane and that was perfect.

    In reality, it's nice to have BMs/MOH around for some of the preperation, but it is not required and should not be expected.  If she is unable to be present ofr any of the pre-wedding festivities, it should not be held against her or thought of as "she doesn't care".

    If you friendship is good and strong and you are honored to have her stand by your side, I wouldn't sweat it.  I know this probably isn't what you really want to hear, but I am hoping it's a small dose of reality before you get all worked up about this.  Its just not worth it.

    Truth is, to you, your wedding is the culmination of months of preperation... but to everyone else (including your MOH) your wedding is one day... chances are, planning something that ends 2 weeks before your big day is no big deal at all to her.  2 weeks is a pretty long time.  Now, if she were planning to return 2 days before, I might be a little more concerned.  But 2 weeks?  No sweat.  Seriously.

    Hope her trip goes well and you don't drive yourself bonkers over this. 
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  • kks4471kks4471 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Monica, that is seriously what I needed to hear.  I know I can't change her trip, and I don't want to change her trip.  I just thought I'd be happy peachy by now, but since it's still in my head, I posted it.  She's a grown woman, and deserves fun opportunities like this.  And yikes, that sentence sounds horrible, sorry!

    I guess after all that, I'm just wondering if there's anything we should do together before she leaves, or within the 2 weeks that she's back.  After reading your post, I think as long as she shows up in her dress, we're good to go!
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  • edited December 2011
    Glad you didn't take that how some would.  Yay!

    Let's see... well... when she gets back, I would actually try to make a date and just catch up, check out her pics and ask her about her trip.  I would killlll to go on a cross country trip, so I'm way jealous!  I would just make a point to show interest in her life and not be like "Ok now that you're back, it's all about the wedding".

    The only things my MOH and I really did in the days before the wedding was have a mani/pedi date.  We finished up loose ends and put together the bouquets.  Other than that, it was catching up on everything we had missed over the past 2 years (last I saw her was April 2009).  We drank wine and girl talked.  It was awesome.

    I would definitely check with her, a few weeks before she leaves, to make sure that her dress fits and she has everything set for herself for the day of.  If she is getting her hair done, picking out jewelry.. whatever.  But mainly the dress fitting.  Other than that... her main responsibilties will come up on the day of.  Keep you sane, make sure you eat, fix your dress, etc.
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  • kks4471kks4471 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    I needed common sense knocked into me, thank you for politely doing that!  We'll share another bottle of Sweet Walter from Bully Hill when she gets back from her awesome trip :)  The small things like mani/pedi sound great.  Thanks again!

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  • sbolger17sbolger17 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agree with Monica!  The only other thing I'd say to think about is bachelorette party and shower dates.  If anyone that's not her asks you about potential dates, keep the dates she'll be gone in mind if you'd like her there.

    She could alter her dress in 2 weeks, but it might be better if you time it so that the BM dresses come in before her trip, so she can take care of that then.

    My MOH lives near DC, so she definitely wasn't around before the wedding.  It was no problem.  I had other local friends offer to help with things (although the only people I took up on the offer were my mother and my in-laws).
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  • kks4471kks4471 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the tips Sarah :)  I feel 1000 times better, and am so excited for her!
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