What would YOU do?

CD2011

FI and I were invited to a wedding on Aug 13th at 2pm, reception at 4pm. Being his own boss he COULD take the day off for it, but our wedding is 6 days later and he will be taking 10 days off of work (well 8 since there are 2 Sundays in there). He mentioned to his friend (the groom) that he was trying to decide what to do, and his friend said to just come to the reception. I always think it's kind of rude when people do that, since to me the ceremony is the important part!

I just met the couple on Sunday, and mentioned that I might come to the church alone. They seemed like they really didn't care, saying the reception is the important part, but I still feel weird! What would you do??

kevinandmonica2011

I personally would not feel right just showing up for the reception.  A few of our guests said they were going to do this to us and I felt totally taken advantage of... even though the couple may seem cool about it, think how you would feel.  Work is work and I know people understand that... but still... just showing up for the free food and drinks does seem rude to me too.  How close is your fi to the groom?  How does he feel about it?

If it's not a huge inconvenience for fi, he should try to make it.  Worst case, you going alone is probably better than not going at all.  Is the wedding local?  Maybe he can just take 1/2 day off instead of a full day.

kevinandmonica2011

I should add that I voted for the first one.... seems like the best compromise... although... I didn't realize that you had the "send a card/gift" option until after I finished my post.  If you are not super close with this couple, I think that 6 days out from your wedding you might rather be taking care of stuff for your own big day. 

DondadaTimes2

I say go just to the reception. Yeah I see where its rude, but I think thats ok b/c the friend threw that option out there. I went to a wedding last summer for a girl Josh and I knew from HS but only became friends with like 2 months before. We had only hung out when playing on our volleyball team so honestly, I didnt feel bad. I wasnt a big enough part of her life that I felt it would make a difference to either of us if I was there.

Also, I have no idea (outside of pics) who was at my ceremony. I was so wrapped up in what I had to do and seeing Josh that the rest of the world was a blur.

So if FI doesnt want to take the day off ( I would never tell him to suck it up. Its money to help you 2 live and thats nothing to 'pfft' at) then I say skip the ceremony and the two of you go to the reception together.

sbolger17

I voted for the first one, but I think any of the suggestions is acceptable.  I wouldn't want my FI to miss work unless he had enough paid days off already shored up.

Side note: I don't think I'd be able to manage going to a wedding 1 week before mine!

kks4471

I voted for the first one, because I personally would feel weird about just going to the reception.  That's just me though, everyone is different.  If I were you, I'd be hanging out in the back row of the ceremony, just to feel like I was a part of something.  Good luck with your decision!

bitofrits

I understand, and agree that I'd feel weird going to the reception only... but your FI already talked to them about it and if they seemed like they didn't care then they probably didn't.  

If they were people I didn't really know, cause they were my FI friends I'd feel just as weird going to the ceremony by myself... so I would just skip the ceremony if my FI wasn't going.  Honestly, I can't say that when you're getting married you necessarily notice if everyone showed up to the ceremony or not.  I don't think I'd remember anyway.