*Monica*Jane*Other Polite Snarkers*

DondadaTimes2

Ok I need your help. I had a situation happen yesterday that Im sure will happen again and I'd really like to be ready with something to say that wont get me kicked from my internship, but that allows me to voice my own and not just take the chit Im given.

Story:
Yesterday i was sitting at the "counselors table" during dinner and one of the clients came up to me and asked if he could talk to me a min. I said sure and pulled out a seat for him (rules say they are allowed to sit with us if theyre talking to us about the program if we ok it). This guy is known to be very cocky and to have royal anger issues and started talking to me about how hes been working on his anger and has been doing really well but that he was having a rough day and just needed to vent to someone that he didnt feel the need to hit (yay me!). Then this fuuckin nurse comes over and sits down to eat and with no hesitation says "J go away Im eating!" All stern and royal biitch like. I wasnt sure of the rules at the time so I just kinda sat there open jawed and surprised at her tone. He says to her "Im speaking to a counselor." "Go. Away. NOW!" then I see J clench his fists so I put my hand on his and told him we'd talk later, take a breath, its not worth it. And he walked away.

Im still just in fuuckin awe over it. And you all know Im not one to be spoken to like that and keep hushed, nor am I ok with people talking to others like that if its not warrented. I cant get kicked from this program but I also dont want the clients to think Im someone they cant talk to b/c I get walked on. I realize that recidivism rates are very high in programs like this, but I refuse to be unhopeful for the clients Im working with. I believe that once you believe they wont make it, you try helping them less. The day I decide they cant be helped is the day I move on from this population. This population needs help and Im gunna do my damnedest to help the best I can.

So i dont know what to do. Can you ladies think of anything nice enough that I wont get kicked but snarky enough that the nurse knows Im here to help and shes not going to push me or my clients around? Or do I need to keep hushed and simply walk them away from the table to talk if it happens again? Personally I wanted to let him punch her in the face...but that wouldnt be good for either of us.

raes19

I would have just told her that you are there doing what you are supposed to be doing, helping a client. If she wants to push it, go to her supervisor and let them know what happened and that her attitude certainly isn't helping the clients with any issues they have. She was on a "break," but that doesn't give her the right to act that way towards anyone, and especially not someone who is there for treatment.

And I myself would have probably punched her in the face. Bitch.

JN382

I think you did the right thing by putting the client first, and calmly told him you would continue the conversation. If you had reacted, it could have potentially been really bad. I don't know much about your job, but it's nice to know someone is putting the time and effort into an at risk group. If I were you, I would calmly explain to the nurse that you were talking about the program, and that you had to make an on-the-spot judgement call. If this nurse can't understand that, they shouldn't be working in such a hands-on field whose job is to help people.

Stay calm and vent outside of work. Its apparent you are too passionate about your position to lose it over ignorance. If it happens again (where a client approaches you at the table), walk away from the table with them. That way, there isn't any confusion as to whether you should/should not be speaking.

Hope this helps!!!

lornarose07

*sigh* I knew I wouldn't hear the end of SBH drama just because I graduated. Don't worry Bridgett, we got yo back.

Im trying to visualize myself in your position, and I know just the CW at my field placement who would have been playing the biotch in this situation. Provided I had the balls at the moment, I would have said to her "Actually, my supervisor told me that I can talk to clients at this table as long as it's program related, but we'll talk quietly as not to disturb you." I can't much snarkier than that, because it's not worth pissing off one sour grape who might want to get you in trouble. When it comes down to it, though, I probably would have done what you did, or even told him that I would move somewhere else with him to keep talking right then and there. Clients come before annoying CWs

kevinandmonica2011

TBH, what I probably would have done (and, of course, hindsight is 20/20) is said something to the effect of "Let's go somewhere that we can speak in private where we won't interrupt anyone's lunch."  And promptly left the table with him.  It's kind of a win-win.  She gets the table to herself and you get amildly snarky comment in for kicks.

Its tough to be all-out snarky because you need this to graduate, right?  So they kind of have you by the balls and you have to be on your best behavior.  It's tough... believe me, I know.  And many times you will have to bite your tongue... but it will be worth it in the end when you can both speak your mind and help your clients to your fullest potential.

Til then... just hang in there.

One thing I can say is... while you can apologize for how she spoke to him... don't ever bash the staff to the clients.  (as in, "J... I am SO SO sorry she said that sh!t.  She's such a twatwaffle.  Don't worry about her... I'MMM here to help you).  That is a sure-fire way to put you in a really bad spot.

Your other option would be to confront the nurse, away from clients, and let her know how you felt about what transpired.  Yes, this is the best textbook way to handle the situation... but let's be real here... she's worked there for x number of years... you are just some little pee-on intern.  She won't care.  Hate to say it, but it's the truth.

Just do what you can to do right by the clients and stay out of trouble.  Remember what you see/hear... you can learn just as much from bad examples as you can from good.  Soon, your time will come and you will have 2 legs to stand on when you put those type of b!tches in their place... but for now... you really have to pick and choose your battles.  I don't think this is a ship worth sinking on.

lornarose07

Monica, the way you incorporate so many crafty phrases/metaphors into one post is downright impressive. You could so guest-write a column for like, Cosmo or something

kevinandmonica2011

Lmao.  Thanks, Lorna!!!  Although I don't think that Cosmo would allow "Twatwaffle" in their magazine.

DondadaTimes2

Thanks ladies! I really do appreciate the help.

Monica, the guy did ask me later "She was so rude wasnt she?! I mean, shes owes me an apology right?!" and I simply responded with "Well, I felt she was a tad rude about it, but Im also unaware of the rules when it comes to the cafeteria. So let me check on those and Ill let you know so we don't run into this problem again, ok?" I shared this story with my class last night and my professor looked a little nervous when she asked me how I responded and when I told her she said I handled it beautifully! I didnt make the client feel like he overreacted but didnt shove the nurse under the bus either. Go me!

lornarose07

Good job Bridget!! Do you have Xenia or Tracy (Walker)? And you also have Tracy Marchese right?

kevinandmonica2011

You know, Bridgett, I was thinking more about this and I have to say it's really odd to me that the staff do not take their breaks in an area seperate from the residents/clients.  I think that sounds like a recipe for disaster, TBH.  (ex.  Get the eff away from me, can't you see I'm on my break"... it's just weird.  Just thought I would share.

Also, I think you responded in a very professional manner.  Yay for you!!

DondadaTimes2

Tracy Walker is my Internship Coordinator. I dont know who the other Tracy is. For the class I have Pam Johnson.

DondadaTimes2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_monicajaneother-polite-snarkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:41448088-1424-47b7-8446-622db442837dPost:e1e7a997-023f-456e-b551-e6e1e3ceecc4">Re: *Monica*Jane*Other Polite Snarkers*</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, Bridgett, I was thinking more about this and I have to say it's really odd to me that the staff do not take their breaks in an area seperate from the residents/clients.  I think that sounds like a recipe for disaster, TBH.  (ex.  Get the eff away from me, can't you see I'm on my break"... it's just weird.  Just thought I would share. Also, I think you responded in a very professional manner.  Yay for you!!
Posted by kevinandmonica2011[/QUOTE]

I agree to an extent. The counselors (me and the 2 I work with) have to eat in the cafeteria with them b/c they need to be watched. I havent seen a client come up and want to sit and talk with us while we eat yet, but if they have a quick question, none of us (including the one social worker who eats with us from time to time) shove them off. If the answer will be lengthy Ive heard them say something along the lines of "Give me a few min to finish eating and Ill get right back with ya" but never "Eff off" The nurses on the other hand have no reason to be there other than the pure laziness of having to walk 1 floor to their office then back down after. Or even down the hall to an used room.

I had a little daydream yesterday of the nurse acting like that again and me taking a stand and deciding to eat dinner with the clients instead. Silly.