A little encouragement please!

csharpe44

  I know I haven't been around for a while but I hope you guys can help me out.  At first I was so excited about getting married, searching for venders, etc.  Now I have the church, reception site, photographer's booked, dj's booked, dress and veil ordered...and now I have little interest in getting married at all.  I'm sure it's just cold feet but I just don't want to do this anymore.  I am making my own invitations and I've got to get going with it in order to make them and send them out in time but I just can't get the ambition...any thoughts?

kevinandmonica2011

May I ask what it is about the wedding that is making you feel this way?

Wedding planning can certainly be overwhelming at times and I had many (many many many) moments where I wanted to kick myself for not just eloping... but even at my most annoyed, I still wanted to get married... just without the whole wedding... if that makes sense.

If you are stressed, annoyed, overwhelmed, frustrated, etc... vent away.  Fill us in on the source of your stress and we will do our best to help.  But... if you are questioning whether or not you wabt to get married... that's a whole different ball game.

It does get better (it also gets worse, won't sugar coat it...).  Once you are over the stress of making the guest list and sending out the invites, the stress of ridiculous responses will come next. 

I can tell you, through all the stress, seeing my husband's face when I walked down the aisle and watching our guests laughing, drinking and having a blast... made it all worth while.

HTH

lornarose07

Monica, my breath totally caught in my throat when i read "seeing my husband's face when i walked down the aisle" .... Ahhhhh cant wait! But yes, monica is right in that the wedding is one thing but getting and being married are two totally different things. The wedding might be so stressful to you that its causing you to displace that stress onto the upcoming marriage itself... Which makes sense, because weddings are to get married and marriages are the result of a wedding. Let us know what it is SPECIFICALLY, even if its multiple things, and that can help determine where exactly your stress is coming from

JN382

Completely agree with monica and lorna.

Also, you aren't getting married for 8 months! In terms of feeling like you have to do it all right now, why not take a break and just relax for a few weeks? You have the important vendors out of the way, so why not give it a rest for now? Like monica said, it can get worse, especially as the time gets closer.

I'd take a deep breath and pause.. remember why you're going through this in the first place. If there is hesitation about the marriage, as PP said, that's a whole other ball game.

Come back and vent any time!

whereismymind32

If it makes you feel any better, you have a whole month longer than I do to plan and I'm behind you. I still don't have all my vendors even though I've been engaged for over a year! For me it's been indecision and the pressure for it to be PERFECT that has held me back from progressing in my planning. I've definitely already had moments where I've felt like I don't want to get married because it's too much work. lol.  Maybe you should give yourself a "wedding vacation" where you don't talk about or do anything wedding for a week or two. Just spend some QT with your FI, friends and family instead. Constantly nagging yourself about what you should have done already while not actually doing it only makes it worse. Take a break and come back to it with a fresh outlook.

csharpe44

Thank you guys soooo much!  And to answer your questions, it is the wedding not the actual marriage.  I do want to get married but exactly like you all said, without the wedding.  I wanted to have a small JOP type of thing but he's divorced and did that last time so he doesn't want to do that.  He says he 'wants to do it right this time' which is SUPER SWEET but the problem is that we're doing it right and I'm doing all the "doing".  He works out of town all week long and lately he hasn't even been coming home on the weekends, so I think that might me the majority of the problem.  During the weekends I get all excited to show him all the things I've accomplished and he acts like he's all "wedding'd out".  And I'm like really?  Cause your mother hasn't sent you 15 emails this week!

sbolger17

Glad to hear it's just wedding stress!  I agree with the other girls; you've got a ton of stuff done and you have plenty of time!  My BIL just got engaged and they're planning their wedding for just a few weeks after you so you are way ahead of the game.

You don't need to order invitations quite yet; I know TK says do it at 6 months, but it doesn't take that long!  Just relax and try and enjoy the upcoming holidays.  :-)

It will be worth it in the end.

Happily9

I honestly felt the same way!  He wanted the big wedding...I wanted to elope!  Take some time off...just search esty or look for other fun parts of the wedding.  Trust me when it gets down to the day of you won't regret that you listened to him after all  

P.S.  My husband helped out about as much as your fiance is...LOL