New York

How "traditional" was/is your wedding?

As I've been putting together the details of our wedding, I've found that I keep getting the "skeptical eyebrow" about so many things I think are commonplace for a wedding these days. I guess I read too many wedding blogs, because so many things I've suggested my bridesmaids (all single) and my mom have never heard of before and it takes a lot of explaining on my part for them to "get-it." Has anyone else run into this? Some examples:
Blue mason jars as vases
Multiple small cakes instead of one big tiered one
Burlap table runners
Bridesmaids clutches instead of bouquets (I'm still debating this one)
Using contemporary music for our ceremony
Giving the tables "names" instead of "numbers"
DIY-ing my flowers

Do you think my guests will be having the same skepticism, or will they just go with it?
 

Re: How "traditional" was/is your wedding?

  • edited December 2011
    I think that's what makes a wedding unique- adding your own twist to what is otherwise a very "same ole" party. Adding some new dimensions will make it even more unique, and I'm sure the guests will love it. And when you look at what traditional weddings are comprised of, you still have all those elements but with a different spin-- bridesmaids clutches (you still have bridesmaids!), multiple cakes (still have cake!)... etc. Not sure if that makes sense. I think it's great that you're using creativity and not just going with what is normal (as opposed to tradition). It definitely has me thinking!! So thank you for that!

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  • MCTD31MCTD31 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I just mentioned in a previous post that I, too, am doing burlap table runners. I'm also DIYing my flowers. I'm using wine bottles for vases and will most likely be doing a small two-tiered cake with cupcakes. So we've got a lot of similarities, and I haven't really noticed much skepticism. Then again maybe I'm just not paying attention, because I don't really care what other people think! My mom even hates my wedding gown....too bad. I have a specific vision, as I'm sure you do, and you should do what you love. It'll look great.
  • edited December 2011
    My wedding will be "traditional" I suppose, but I dont think any of the things that you're doing are weird by any means! And I bet when everyone walks into your weddig they will be like "ooo how cute/creative," not "eww how odd." FWIW, I LOVE the idea of the clutches! Saves money on flowers, thy can use them again and again, and that's so cute and different! For those who continue to question your choices, simply tell them tht you and FI are trying to keep everything as a surprise. You shouldnt be dealing with the added stress of defending/explaining your wedding to people! If ppl who already know still want to bring up how odd your ideas sound, tell them "well that sounds like a personal problem" and change the subject. That always shuts ppl up, there is never any appropriate thing to respond to that with lmao.
  • bitofritsbitofrits member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think some of your suggestions are really that out there at all.  My comments on your list:

    Blue mason jars as vases - I think some people that picture a formal wedding don't picture mason jars.  I'm actually doing this myself (but with clear, not blue jars).  It sounds like you're going for an outdoorsy style so it would totally make sense.
    Multiple small cakes instead of one big tiered one - small cakes or cupcakes is definitely a sore spot for some people who are into what they picture a traditional wedding.  But what they may picture and what it will actually look like are two very different things.
    Burlap table runners - Again, it sounds like you're going for a country/outdoorsy type of theme and finding subtle ways to show that with the normal traditional things (like table runners) is a great idea.  Subtle is usually better for themes imo.
    Bridesmaids clutches instead of bouquets (I'm still debating this one) - Never seen or heard of this, but some people just think bouquets/flowers is the only way to make it "wedding-y", but I don't think anyone would particularly notice right way that they don't even have bouquets -- they'll be noticing you and your soon-to-be husband!!
    Using contemporary music for our ceremony - Music choice is really up to the couple.  My sister only had light background music for the majority of the reception and no one seemed to mind.  The people who want to do... will dance to ANYTHING.  :P
    Giving the tables "names" instead of "numbers" - I don't think this is unusual AT ALL.  I see this all of the time (and am planning on doing it myself).
    DIY-ing my flowers - I think people are skepitcal of this mainly because of the time it may take when you're worrying about lots of other things or that the flowers will be in good shape the day of (if ordering online for example).  I have heard of people doing this, but don't know if I've seen it... if I have I'd never know it.  :)  I think there are so many tricks and tips in blogs/sites for DIY flowers that you can do this without any of your guests knowing the wiser.  I just think be careful about making sure you have the time to do it while still getting ready and dealing with all the small details the days before and the day of your wedding.

    Do you think my guests will be having the same skepticism, or will they just go with it? 

    I don't think your guests will be skeptical at all.  Saying "blue mason jars" versus showing/seeing the end result are two very different things for example.  Some people just can't picture what you're thinking or talking about and just need to see it.  I think if these ideas/items fit into YOUR idea of what you picture YOUR day to be like than GO FOR IT!  These are the things that will make your wedding one of a kind.  And like I said before, it really sounds like you're taking traditional and mixing it with a theme/feel that you want for the evening.  Really nothing you've mention is something I've never heard of before (except for the clutches), and obviously your mom and bridesmaids aren't "in the know" about the new trends for weddings.  :P

    If you really want to hear what they have to say, I'd say listen to their thoughts in case they think of something you didn't... but don't feel bad about "fighting for" what you are picturing and would fit into your perfect day.  Good luck!
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  • sbolger17sbolger17 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agree with everyone above.  These touches are what make a wedding unique and not cookie-cutter.  Overall, my wedding was pretty traditional, but I definitely did things that made my mom say, "What?!"  Case in point: I had bright yellow wedding shoes. My mother and MIL did not understand that at all and thought I was nuts.  Then on the day, they loved it (as did everyone else and me!). 

    It sounds like everything will be beautiful and I think once it's all pulled together, everyone will think it looks great and no one will comment on the "untraditional" elements.
  • edited December 2011
    I think in many ways it's because we all read wedding blogs and magazines and forums that many of these things seem mainstream but to people who have never gone through wedding planning or did so a long time ago, these things seem strange.  My wedding was in no way traditional and I didn't want it to be.  Things like paddle fan programs, a fingerprint tree guestbook and cootie catcher/fortune teller table decorations, people were so impressed with my creativity and uniqueness, many asked how I even thought of these things.  But all of them were ideas I stole from a magazine or blog and figured people would have seen before or were familiar with.  I say continue with your vision and if people are questioning them just ignore it and they'll see how well it comes together in the end. 
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the perspective, ladies! No one has been exceptionally negative, they just don't quite see my vision and I get tired of explaining all the time. I've started to just copy the pictures straight out whatever blog inspired me and sending them to my mom. It's faster that way. lol. The "look" of the wedding is really important to me, so I guess I'm extra sensitive that my guests will be critical.
  • edited December 2011
    Mine was fairly traditional, but we did add several *twists*.  To answer you question, how the details and twists fit really depends on the overall feel/style of your wedding.

    Example... blue mason jars and burlap runners for a semi-formal and/or outdoorsy wedding would make perfect sense.  But maybe wouldn't work so well in a fancy ballroom setting.  Tracking?

    As for the cakes... lots of people are going with cupcakes or smaller cakes instead now.  However, it does seem that people miss the whole "cake cutting" thing.  It's a tradition that, especially the older generation, enjoys.  A good compromise is (if doing cupcakes), just have a one tier cake for you to cut.  Win-win.

    The clutches- personally, I'm torn.  I like that they are more practical than flowers, but I do like the look of the bouquets... or even having each girl carry a single flower.  But, if this is something you want- go for it.

    Music... oh... I so wish I could have chosen slightly more contemporary music, but our church would not allow it.  I think if you give care and consideration to choosing your own music, your guests will understand and appreciate that it is a reflection of you and your DH.  Sure, lots of people love the stupid dum dum DA dum...  personally, I hate it.

    Table names... I did this.  Mine were types of wine.  It fit with the vineyard them and people didn't seem to mind much at all.  The only issue I think was (for them) trying to actually find the table that matched their wine... especially when they couldn't pronounce it or remember what it said.  But it worked out.

    DIY-ing my flowers... oh lord.  I could go on for years about this.  I DIY-d mine.  First of all... my guests had no idea.  So I certainly didn't get the side-eye on the day of.  However, I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I created this genius idea.  I don't want to scare you or deter you from doing this... it can save a TON of money (I paid $180 for 200 gorgeous white roses that made 7 or 8 bouquets, alter arrangements, boutineers, there were a ton leftover).  IF you do this... do a trial run and allow yourself a LOT of time and/or delegate a crafty friend or famiyl member to help.  I was hell bent on doing them all myself and it was pretty stressful for me.

    Do you think my guests will be having the same skepticism, or will they just go with it?
    With the things you have mentioned, most people seem to just go with it.  The ideas you posted aren't really "out there" you know?  Now... if you were planning on wearing a short black mini-dress in lieu of a traditional wedding dress, I would tell you to be prepared for some serious side-eye.... but with what you've got so far... no worries.
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  • edited December 2011

    This is a breath of fresh air! I am doing virtually everything that you are doing.  Plus I'm not just using mason jars as vases...I'm making them into lanterns as well.  I love burlap, so we're doing the table runners as well as burlap accents. I'm using a lot of twine and raffia. But honestly, my fiance and I are non-traditional in most sense of the word.  We're having the ceremony and reception at the same place on 36 acres of land.  We're both very nature oriented people and would prefer at all times to be outside.

    Everything should go fine.  I have never met a person who doesn't appreciate and/or fall in love with rustic weddings.

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