Expectations

DondadaTimes2

So I have my 2nd marriage class with the pastor tonight and Josh and I need to have a list of expectations for both each other and the marriage. When we were told this I thought "no biggie, this will be easy". Ive found its really not! I hate sounding genaric with my answers, but Im blanking out.

So I figured I'd ask you guys...what are YOUR expectations of your FH and of your marriage?

kevinandmonica2011

LOL... Kev and I did this too.  I actually kind of miss going to our pre-cana classes... we learned a lot about ourselves and each other.

Some of my expectations would be... (and all of these go both ways... everything I expect of him, I expect of myself towards him)
respect-  I expect mutual respect.  I expect to be treated with respect and spoken to respectfully.  I expect to be held to the same standard
honesty-  I expect honesty- complete and brutal honesty in all measures
trust- I expect him to trust me and to be worthy of my trust
hard work- I expect him to work just as hard as I do to make our dreams a reality
cooperation- I expect him to be ready and willing to cooperate and compromise when we have a disagreement
passion- I expect him to do what he can to keep the passion alive and to make an effort to not let us get "stuck in a rut" like so many other couples do
friendship- above all other things, I expect him to be my best friend and confidant

This sounds kind of demanding, lol...  as I said above, these are not only things I expect of him, but things that I expect of myself in return.  It is a good thing to lay it all out there and make sure you are both on the same page.

Good luck with your class!!!!

DondadaTimes2

Kara, Im not a big family kinda girl! haha All I can think about is how that big family gets here and the pain is not me! But I do want kids.

Monica, I have a lot of that down too. Respect, Honesty, Trust, Loyalty, Commitment, and above all...I want us to be ourselves and not get lost in a role. I fell in love with Josh b/c of who he is and I dont want him to lose who he is.

kevinandmonica2011

That's a good one.... be yourself... stay yourself
One thing we have learned though, is that people do change, relationships do change.... I am not 100% the same as I was even 6 months or a year ago.... I think the key is being able to grow and change together over the years while still keeping true to yourself.

DondadaTimes2

You said it perfectly! I know that we change and quite frankly if Josh didnt change at all then we wouldnt be together. He was a ladies man, bachelor. But theres a part of Josh who I dont want to change b/c he just wouldnt be him.

DondadaTimes2

And of course there was a twist! After we told each others our expectations and the 3 of us talked about them and what they mean to us Pastor Jim lets us in on a little secret...

In love and marriage, just as in life, you cant EXPECT anything. Hald of what you expect, wont happen or will happen at first and begin to fade. You need to learn to make your expectations, desires. Let your SO know about these desires and hopefully they want to fulfill them!