I have to vent (and I don't think this would go over well on TN)... long

kevinandmonica2011

Old people should not use Facebook.

There.  I said it.  Flame me.

A little background:  My parents divorced about 5-6ish years ago.  I was not ok with it.  As a matter of fact, I reacted the way your typical 4 year old would.  I know it's really immature and not my business/decision and yadda yadda yadda.  I am still not completely ok with the whole thing (not that I need to be ok with it, I know)... but coming around to the idea... I guess.  I mean, I have no choice, right? 

My parents, to their credit, have been incredibly mature about the whole thing.  Anything that has anything to do with my brother or I (wedding for example), they act like our parents.  They were totally ok with walking back up the aisle and being introduced together, even offered to sit together for dinner if I wanted.  Love them!  I know I am very fortunate for that b/c a lot of ex's are so rotten when it comes to weddings.

So... now my problem.

My father has recently become interested (via FB.  problem #1.  WTF) in some woman who lives in North Dakota (problem #2.  I seriously do not believe that people actually live there.  just buffalo).  He asked me to add her as a friend so I could get to know her and vice versa.  Ok fine whatever.  I'm really not ready to warm and fuzzy up to any other woman, but whatever.  She's nice. 

Now for the BIG problem... #3.  For the past 3 days, every time I log in, my entire wall has been covered with all sorts of mushy BS from one to the other.  "Hey baby"  "This song's for you, sweetheart" attached to some mushy lovemaking crap.  I want to puke.  It's like a 7th grade relationship in my face and I just can't handle it.  It is so beyond annoying to me.  I feel like telling my dad to "Grow up"... how weird is that?

Soooo... is it wrong to block my dad and de-friend this bimbo?  lol.  That's the point I am at.  I already hate this woman just because everything was hunky dory until I friended her (I guess I just couldn't see all of their intimate conversations posted on the internet for the world to gag over) and now she just annoys the ever-living snot out of me.  I don't know what to do.  I know I should probably just say something to my dad about how disgusting and inappropriate all of this it.... but I don't think I can do that nicely.

Thoughts?!?!?!

sbolger17

There used to be a way to block certain people's posts from coming up on your home page, so you could block the woman that way (and your dad too if you want).  I did that with my mom for a while when she made 7th grade-y boyfriend posts (what is it with old people and their dumb posts?!). 

I also don't think it would be weird if you just de-friended the woman.  It seems like kind of a weird way to get to know someone anyways if that was how your dad intended it.

kevinandmonica2011

I should add.... This should not be misconstrued as dad-bashing or me taking sides about the divoce thing.  My mother may or may not be dating someone also.  The difference is, if she is, she is discreet about it.  IF she felt the relationship had progressed to the point where he should meet or get to know her children, she would then talk to me about him or whatever.... but I can't ever picture my mother posting "hey babys" all over FB.  ick.

raes19

If you put your mouse pointer somewhere in their posts,  an X will come up in the right corner. You can click on that, and have the option of hiding their posts.

kevinandmonica2011

Thanks Raes!!!  I must do this.  My sanity depends on it.

kks4471

Wow, I am SO happy my parents are not on FB.  I'm sorry you had to see those posts, yuck.  Like Raes said, you can block posts on your main wall.  I'm not sure about defriending her though.  If you don't care about her feelings what so ever, I'd say defriend.  If she may be around for awhile, or you don't want to upset your Dad, I'd keep her as a friend.  Good luck!

DondadaTimes2

I say ditch the woman. Maybe even send them both a short a sweet message saying "Im really sorry but I cant be friends with the both of you on fb. Im not in a place where Im ok with all the mushy talk. Im going to have to delete ___ and I dont want you to take it too personal. I want to like you but seeing all these comments is pushing me on the other direction"

Your dad is at your own discretion, But being friends with her. No need. IMHO

MelissaC315

I am so going to sound like a counselor... but I am one haha so it's just how I am haha.

But #1... you are 100% entitled to feel anyway that you want to feel. It's real and you shouldn't feel like you can't feel mad, upset, etc. Divorce at any age is really hard. And sometimes even harder when the children are adults because they have known their parents as a couple their whole lives and divorce shatters that image they have had their whole lives. And as an adult you are subjected to more "S***"(i.e. the b.s. your dad is doing on fb). If you were a child they would probably shelter you from all that. So it sucks and you feeling not okay with it is normal and okay.

Also your dad pushing you to "meet" (on fb) this girl he likes seems like a lot of pressure on you... you love him... you want to be involved in his life sooo you friend her b/c its what he wants. But I don't think he's considering how uncomfortable that makes you feel.  But anyways I won't blab all day and be my counselor self (I always do it haha I can't help it)

I would personally block her or de-friend her if you don't want to see it. Or block the posts like others suggested. Or.... tell your dad how you feel... which I know is probably like noooo way but who knows maybe he would respect your wishes as far as keeping things more discrete like your mom does....

kevinandmonica2011

Thanks girls!!!  And thanks especially to Melissa for the super great counselor advice.  I feel like less of a b!tch for being so annoyed now.

She's blocked and if he doesn't knock it off, I'm going to have to say something.  Or if he asks why I blocked her.  (btw, I'm a little FB illiterate... do you know when someone blocks you?)

CD2011

I think that would make me vomit in my mouth. I would want to block that too! My parents aren't divorced, but apparently a couple of days ago my dad left my mom a note that they are "in different places in their relationship" and yadda yadda (completely out of nowhere!!) 16 days before my wedding!! Awesome. So, I don't know exactly how you feel, but I definitely got a taste of how it would still be awkward even as an adult.

I'm also somewhat FB illiterate so I can't answer about knowing when you're blocked. I don't think I pay enough attention to even notice that someone blocked me (unless if I went to send them a msg or something?)

kks4471

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_vent-dont-think-this-would-over-well-tn-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:667a00c5-3937-43ed-b80c-f0d9457b03e4Post:972592e3-5c6f-41ca-a7e0-f361b467b5fe">Re: I have to vent (and I don't think this would go over well on TN)... long</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks girls!!!  And thanks especially to Melissa for the super great counselor advice.  I feel like less of a b!tch for being so annoyed now. She's blocked and if he doesn't knock it off, I'm going to have to say something.  Or if he asks why I blocked her.  (btw, I'm a little FB illiterate... do you know when someone blocks you?)
Posted by kevinandmonica2011[/QUOTE]

She won't know that you blocked her posts.  If you defriend her, she would have to click on your profile to know that.  Awesome post Melissa!

lornarose07

Sorry you're suffering through this! While this isn't something I've gone through, I HAVE had my fair share of annoying posts clogging up my FB wall. It's to be able to remove all of their posts from your feed so you aren't bothered by their nonsense while avoiding the drama of defriending them altogether ("soooo why did you defriend me???").