New York

Yet another "adult" reception question!

I'm glad I found this part of the community. It was getting scary out there. :p

My mom and I were discussing the whole "no kids" policy yesterday, because my boss's daughter (my FI and I are super close with my "boss") asked me if she would be coming to my wedding. I didn't really know what to say, so I just made something up and it just went over her 7 year old head lol. It got me thinking about cut offs though. One family we are friends with has a girl who will be 16 at the time of my wedding, and I babysat her when she was little, so she is like a little sister to me. I would certainly invite her. BUT... she has an 8 year old sister who is kind of a terror. If I invite 3/4 of the fam, I have to invite the little one. Then, I feel like I would have to invite my boss's kids if other kids are there. Before long, Im getting carried away with kids and budget. Also, technically, my FBIL is still a kid too since he is a teen.

So the dilema is: If I invite 16 year old friend, then 8 year old must come with. If 8 year old is there, then the no kids rule is out the window. Boss's kids will have to be invited then. Thus, budget is ruined.

Can I make an age cut off?

Re: Yet another "adult" reception question!

  • edited December 2011
    Make the age cut off. I have a 17yo cousin who came and her 7yo sister did not. One was an adult and one was not. Plain and simple.

    Quite frankly, you want an adult only reception, you decide who is adult and who is not. Others can either respect it or not come (or just not being either child).

    As far as FBIL is concerned...hes the brother, he's invited. Its not like hes 5.

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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  • sbolger17sbolger17 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think 16 is an acceptable age cutoff, but be prepared to maybe have an awkward conversation with any families that are split up.
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  • CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I read on here that allowing kids at the ceremony but not reception is not ok, is that correct? My mom suggested this too but I dont wanna burden people with having to run their kids home then come back out for the reception.



  • sbolger17sbolger17 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_yet-another-adult-reception-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:621Discussion:8003a0af-ac3c-4814-9098-6a104d72889ePost:54ebc83c-412f-4578-87d3-fc9e0d669eba">Re: Yet another "adult" reception question!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I read on here that allowing kids at the ceremony but not reception is not ok, is that correct? My mom suggested this too but I dont wanna burden people with having to run their kids home then come back out for the reception.
    Posted by CowgirlK39[/QUOTE]

    That is correct; it's not okay. It should be all or nothing. It also seems like that option would be harder on the parents because they'd have to go back and forth, like you mention.
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  • raes19raes19 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Anyone invited to the ceremony must be invited to the reception as well, even children.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_yet-another-adult-reception-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:621Discussion:8003a0af-ac3c-4814-9098-6a104d72889ePost:54ebc83c-412f-4578-87d3-fc9e0d669eba">Re: Yet another "adult" reception question!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I read on here that allowing kids at the ceremony but not reception is not ok, is that correct? My mom suggested this too but I dont wanna burden people with having to run their kids home then come back out for the reception.
    Posted by CowgirlK39[/QUOTE]


    Correct. The BMs wife brought their baby to our ceremony (to AW Im sure...she cant handle attention not on her) then dropped him off with her parents before the reception. They can choose to do that. But dont invite them to one and not the other

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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  • edited December 2011
    Cowgirl, your concern about burdening people with dropping their kids of is precisely why its not ok, you're spot on. Consider the additional consequences of having to do that and try to explain them to your mom: - guests who have to do that might miss cocktail hour/chit chat time/ etc - guests who are from OOT now have to leave their kids unattended in a hotel room or pay for a babysitter in a hotel room in a perhaps unfamiliar city - guest have to hear "BUT MOOOOOM, WHY CANT I GO TO THE PARTY TOO?!?! I WAAAAANT CAAAAAAKE" None of those things are nice to impose upon your guests. Just make sure you address the invites with the exact names of who you want there and keep a post-it note right by your phone for if/when you have to call someone who RSVP'ed with their children and say "i'm sorry if there was any confusion, but the invitatiom was just for x,y and z. We are unable to accommodate children younger than # because of the venue's policies. We hope you can still make it but if you cant you will be dearly missed"
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