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Regional excuses??

mgietler76mgietler76 member
1000 Comments
in New York

This is going to be a P&R but I was thinking about something:

On the international's people always say "well it must be a regional thing" to justify something they want to do that the majority of posters think is rude/tacky/whatever. Seeing as we are all from NY, do you think there are things that we are used to (regionally) that you didn't realize is considered tacky/rude before TK? I have a few that I can think of right off the bat:

Head tables where WP SO's are not seated together
Selling tickets to bachelor parties
Gaps between ceremony and reception (at least 2 hours)

I have never been involved or invited to a wedding where these things did NOT happen. Anyone else?

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Re: Regional excuses??

  • emieroseemierose
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    yup I agree.. All these things happen around here all the time!
    My wedding WONT have a gap which will be a first for me...
    The only other thing that came to mind for me was MOB hosting the shower. This has been the norm in my experience for alot of the showers I've attended (although sometimes its been hosted by an aunt or the MOH along with the mother).
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  • FutureDondadaFutureDondada member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with both of you! Everyone hops on me for asking my mom and sister/MOH about my shower...but Ive never been to one that the MOB didnt help plan! And gaps...oh lord. Last wedding I went to had a 4 hr gap...but it was normal. I personall have no gap. Everyone ill head inside for cocktail hr while we take pics and then Im in too...

    Thoughts on HM registrys? Thats flamed HUGE and for reasons I kinda understand....but its something Im doing and will explain why but never try to justify. What about you guys? Yes or no on the HM reg?
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  • kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Definitely doing the honeymoon registry.
    We already live together... really don't need lots of extra household items.  Just trying to be practical.  I know Miss Manners and the etiquette board would have a heart attack, but they would probably be the type of people to enjoy a formal tea set and 3 crystal gravy boats.  Not us.
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  • kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Heck yeah... I can remember going to weddings when I was little and my dad giving me a $20 to go dance with the groom.  I loved it!
    I think it's really cute in a cheesy, gimme money kind of way.

    I grew up down south and we did some weird stuff too I guess.  I didn't think it was "regional."  I have definitely NEVER heard of selling tickets to a bachelor party?  I think that's a bit much.
    I also have never been to a wedding where the WP did NOT sit at the head table with the bride and groom... without their SO or date.  Usually all of the dates/SOs get stuck at a table together... it all works out.  Anything different would be odd to me. 
    I can't remember ever having a large gap between the ceremony and reception (that wasn't filled with delicious cocktails).  We will have a large gap at ours, but it is because of the distance (an hour and a half) between the ceremony site and reception site.  We will be offering transportation (Party Bus style) for our guests, so hopefully they will enjoy the trip... kind of a mobile cocktail hour... we hope 
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  • kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Lol... I think that they boys have to sell ticktes to cover the cost because they are probably not as good at planning and organizing as your typical MOH or BM.  Lol
    I guess it's kind of a different way to bring in some bucks for the expenses.  Makes sense... just seems a little backwards.  The girls ante up the money before to pay for everything.  The guys just do it then try to get money back later. 
    Typical guy stuff.  lol.
    After your explanation, I am surprised that I have never heard of that before.  Although Kevin went to a bachelor party up here over the summer and they didn't sell tickets.  Weird.
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  • FutureDondadaFutureDondada member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ive never heard of selling tickets either, but then again Josh has only been to 1 bach party since we've been together.

    Im sooo glad someone else here is doing HM reg. My family doesnt give cash. They just dont. So if my small reg was completed, theyre going to proceed to give me junk I dont want or need. I know it can be a bit deceptive...but with my family, you gotta be if you dont want junk gifts.
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  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    As long as I'm not the only one. I saw on the WP board about selling tickets and I didn't want to jump in with my opinion because they were slaughtering the OP for it. I've never seen it any other way and just assumed everyone did that lol

    I've never been to a wedding where the WP's SO were at the head table, or to a wedding with no head table at all for that matter lol I've been flamed for it on the internationals but I still don't see the big deal with not sitting with your SO during dinner.
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  • kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_regional-excuses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:d87c6a35-7bb8-493d-9d54-f4e3e0476481Post:7173952c-00aa-48d4-8c28-f50a6672957e">Re: Regional excuses??</a>:
    [QUOTE]As long as I'm not the only one. I saw on the WP board about selling tickets and I didn't want to jump in with my opinion because they were slaughtering the OP for it. I've never seen it any other way and just assumed everyone did that lol I've never been to a wedding where the WP's SO were at the head table, or to a wedding with no head table at all for that matter lol I've been flamed for it on the internationals but<strong> I still don't see the big deal with not sitting with your SO during dinner.
    </strong>Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]
    I couldn't agree more... it's dinner... it's like an hour.  Geez.  lol.  I have heard of weddings where SOs are not even invited.  If I was in a WP, i am sure Kev would expect that he would have to sit and play nice with the other SO's throughout dinner.  That's just the way it it.  lol.  We cna dance together all night.
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  • DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    100% agreed. Ive been flamed for that too. Ive been to 1 wedding that didnt have a head table and that was my FBILs and I was ok with it b/c I sat with a groomsmen who is now my FI. Yay :)

    I am so glad Im not the only one doing a HM reg. I get that its a bit deceitful, but in all honesty, my family wont give $$. They have a thing against it...so if my small reg is completed, Im going to get junk I dont want. Thats such a waste. And the fee....oooo I hate when people crab about the fee. Its a tax. Thats it. you dont give your guests a tax exempt form when they shop for you, so why be exempt from it now??

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  • SzymSzym
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hi all!!!
    I have heard of selling bachelor tickets for the bachelor party - and my fiance is doing that. The guys - usually don't bring a gift - its more of drink and eat and play pool and whatever really goes on at those things. Do it - don't feel ashamed - guys will not think about it any other way.
    As for the gap - we are having a full catholic mass at 2 and then the cocktail hour would start at 6. So there will be a gap of about 3 hours - but to all the weddings that I have been at - that is how it was done. We are going to use that time to take group photos. 
    And as for the head table - we are not doing that idea. I want a sweetheart table for two and then have five or six tables next to us reserved for the bridal party and their dates/spouses - I think it would give us private time, and the bridal party would feel more comfortable sitting through dinner and speeches with their partners. But we would be all sitting in the same area. What do you girls think????


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  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_regional-excuses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:d87c6a35-7bb8-493d-9d54-f4e3e0476481Post:1c7d75e1-c073-402d-9b6b-900e12ff412f">Re: Regional excuses??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi all!!! I have heard of selling bachelor tickets for the bachelor party - and my fiance is doing that. The guys - usually don't bring a gift - its more of drink and eat and play pool and whatever really goes on at those things. Do it - don't feel ashamed - guys will not think about it any other way. As for the gap - we are having a full catholic mass at 2 and then the cocktail hour would start at 6. So there will be a gap of about 3 hours - but to all the weddings that I have been at - that is how it was done. We are going to use that time to take group photos.  And as for the head table - we are not doing that idea. I want a sweetheart table for two and then have five or six tables next to us reserved for the bridal party and their dates/spouses - I think it would give us private time, and the bridal party would feel more comfortable sitting through dinner and speeches with their partners. But we would be all sitting in the same area. What do you girls think????
    Posted by Szym[/QUOTE]

    I think that's absolutely fine!  I also will have a Catholic mass at 2 with the reception starting @ 6, honestly I didn't know it WASN'T  done that way LOL. As a guest I use that time to go home freshen up and change outfits more suited to a reception.
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  • DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think the sweetheart table is fine. Ive told the story a million times, but my FSIL had a sweetheart table and no seating chart (which Im not fond of) so that people could sit wherever. She had BP all over the room...so I like youre idea of keeping them close

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