Introducing myself....

lornarose07

Hello all, I'm Lorna and I'm introducing myself (for what is quite possibly the 2nd time) to everyone! I've been following the threads on the CNY board for a couple weeks now and I love the atmosphere here, you all are like such a family I hope to fit in with everyone!

kevinandmonica2011

Welcome!!! 

sbolger17

Hi, Lorna!  You sound like a busy lady!  How long have you been engaged?

kevinandmonica2011

We would love to hear more about you, your fi, your wedding!!  It's pretty far out, but have you made any plans?  Venue?  Colors/theme?  Where do you live?  (We have girls from all over... Syracuse to Rochester to Utica... etc)... law school, eh?  Wow!!!

kks4471

Welcome to the board!

smclardy

Welcome!

DondadaTimes2

Welcome to the board!

ski2play

Welcome....enjoy your planning.  Agreed, this board has some really, really nice people!

Happily9

Welcome to the board!

lornarose07

Oh well hey everybody lol sorry I haven't checked this thread in a few days. I guess I'll share a bti about myself!

We have been engaged since April 10th of this year. We (his name is Lucas and mine is Lorna, as per my username) met at Syracuse University where we both attend school, I as a B.S. Social Work major and he a B.S. Public Health major, in 2008 and we started dating on 1/1/09 (easiest. anniversary. EVER to remember). We both graduated this May and in t-25 days I start law school at SU and he begins his Master's at SU. I'm originally from Rochester but I moved here permenantly in 2008 when I transferred to SU, and he's originally from Yonkers but we live together here and he spends the majority of his time here. Hmmm what else is there...
 
Like my siggy says, we're getting married the very weekend after I graduate law school which I'm both happy and sad about. Happy because, well, we're getting married! And at this point we're looking at paying for everything ourselves, so we definitely need time to save up, and sad about it because it's so far away.

We don't have a particular theme, other than classy, simple yet elegant, and leaning towards the side of traditional. He choose lavendar as our color which I'm very happy with, before he saw one of my co-worker's paintings that had a stunning shade of aqua in it, and now he can't decide which he likes better. I'm hoping to talk him into lavendar and diamond white (not quite pure white but not white ivory) as the main colors, with aqua accents.

As far as plans go, we have gotten as far as drafting a guest list (which I'm PRAYING will change in 2 years, so far it's looking like his high school reunion which I'm NOT ok with) and our tentative bridal party (which I'm also hoping will change in 2 years... he wants 7 attendants and I don't have that many people that I could/would want to ask, and going with uneven numbers is not an option for someone with self-diagnosed OCD). On eplan we do have, however, is to both hypenate our last names, so we will both be Mr. and Mrs. Rose-Addo; I'm even going to file my law school diploma request to reflect that name, because if he manages to stick it out with me through law school he's just as much a part of that degree as I am.
 
I am pretty sure we will be getting married in Syracuse, as my father has some medical issues that make travel extremely difficult and he lives in a nursing home in Rochester. So far, Hendrick's Chapel is at the top of my list not only because it's on the SU campus where we met and is gorgeous, but also because it is inclusive of all faiths, beliefs, and walks of life, and I would never get married somewhere that wouldn't marry my LGBT friends. For reception venues, we're ABSOLUTELY stuck. I'm obsessed with the Genessee Grande hotel and would even love the OnCenter, but they're PRICEY! He also is very adamant about keeping our wedding no farther upstate from Westchester County than Syracuse, because he doesn't want his family to travel that far (plus he hates Rochester and everything about it except garbage plates.... *sigh*). I'm fine with getting married in Syracuse, I'm just extremely particular about what I want and so far I haven't found much that enraptures me. I guess that's the beauty of having as much time as we do!

I think I covered all bases, and if I haven't, just ask

sbolger17

Thanks for this!  Loved hearing about it.  Good luck as you start law school very soon!!

I wouldn't worry too much about the guest list and bridal party just yet.  I'm betting that a lot will change.  After I'd been out of undergrad for about a year and a half, I really drifted apart from my HS friends.  In fact, only 2 are invited to my wedding!  (But HS is pretty far away for me both in years and in distance.)

kevinandmonica2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_introducing-myself-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:dd7d9c25-999c-4c13-b1a5-0539d6804d45Post:1bd47b17-096f-444c-acfb-b759947d8451">Re: Introducing myself....</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for this!  Loved hearing about it.  Good luck as you start law school very soon!! <strong>I wouldn't worry too much about the guest list and bridal party just yet.  I'm betting that a lot will change.</strong>  After I'd been out of undergrad for about a year and a half, I really drifted apart from my HS friends.  In fact, only 2 are invited to my wedding!  (But HS is pretty far away for me both in years and in distance.)
Posted by sbolger17[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the awesome intro!!!  And I ditto the bolded part from Sarah.

Please please wait a long time to ask anyone.  No one shared this advice with me and I asked everyone within 48 hours of getting engaged.  Soooo dumb.  One of them backed out after some stupid drama with another BM, and I had some really ridiculous issues with 2 other BMs.  Sooo annoying.  By the time the wedding came around I didn't even want either of them to show up.

FWIW- I ended up with an uneven bridal party... the pictures look just fine.  Please don't make up friends to match his numbers... and definitely don't make him cut back on his boys to match yours.  I have all sorts of weird issues with numbers and such, but when it comes to the WP, your friends should matter more than even numbers, don't ya think?  In any case, you've got a while before you have to make any decisions... but try to remember this when you do.

Scenario 1- you add evtra girls to match his boys... how would you feel if you found out that the only reason your friend asked you to be a BM (and you spent $$ on dress, shoes, hair, etc) was to make everything matchy matchy... in reality she didn't really want to have you standing up for her.
Scenario 2- you make Fi cut a few guys out to match your number... sounds mean just reading it, right?

Don't mean to sound like a lecture, but I wish someone would have been a little more up front with me when I first started planning.  Would have saved me a lot of headaches!
Same with the guest list.  Wait wait wait!!!!  You'll be thankful you did later on.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

lornarose07

Thanks for the warm welcomes everyone and I will absolutely take heed of your advice on waiting. I have only formally asked one person, and that is my maid of honor, because it's exactly what you guys are saying: I DON'T want to just pull people out of Facebook/phone contacts/my butt to stand for me, and based on the few conversations we've had regarding this issue, he's been politely insistent about wanting each and every one of these guys standing for him. I do think some things will change in the future... a good amount of the guest list, and even one of the WP members, come from his fraternity that he now wants to deactivate from because of some drama that went down, so who knows what's to come in the next couple of years. I'm forcing myself not to take anything too seriously, and not to etch anything in mental stone, until at LEAST 18 months out, maybe even 12.

kevinandmonica2011

TBH- I would definitely wait until 12 or even less... more like 8.  I only planned for 12ish months and I still had problems.  I wish I would have waited until 6.  People change soooo much over even a summer (like you said)... let alone a year.  The BFF's you have now may be the people you want to choke in the weeks before your big day... and for Fi too... those frat boys may be long gone by the big day and he may settle into a new group of friends.  You just never know...
Best of luck!!!

DondadaTimes2

Amazing intro!

Im currently at SU getting my MSW! Im hoping to work with LGBT students in the future so youre statement about not marrying somewhere that wont marry your gay friends just 100,000% made my day!

Definitely dont worry about the guest list. Josh and I were engaged for almost 2 years and it changed a bit. We actually jumped the gun on asking our BP and wish we hadnt. So take my advice pleeease and do NOT tell anyone (outside of family) whether or not theyre invited! Make sure you tell Lucas that too. He'll feel like such a scum bag if he tells his HS bff that hes invited then 2 yrs down the road they get distant and he decides not to invite him and bff says something about it. So keep hush about the guest list until its 100% finalized! And the BP...really doesnt need to know until like 6-9 months out. So I know its hard not to ask and talk about it, but dont. You'll be kicking yourself hard if you have someone you want in it but made it public who the BP is a yr prior. Itll make that person feel like 2nd choice as well.

I look forward to getting to know you and getting to know about your wedding.

KNowing that youre local a few of us get toegther for drinks from time to time so you'll have to join in one day. Our mod, Kara, is honeymoon right now but Im sure we'll have another one after shes back.

DondadaTimes2

Totally just realized Monica and I said about the same thing. Thats what I get for jumping the gun and not reading other advice. Great minds think alike!

lornarose07

Congrats on pursuing your MSW! If you want any advice at all about the SWK program/faculty/etc at SU, I'm an open book. I also would LOVE to get together for drinks sometime!