New York

Rehearsal Dinner Rant

So Ive posted before regarding my FFIL paying for the rehearsal dinner and now Im just getting aggrivated. Hes letting his wife handle it all and shes really starting to mess with me. Im all for someone else planning it if theyre paying for it...but this woman is messing around with who is invited.

I told her biological grandparents only (and shes getting a little pissy about her parents not being there...mind you Ive never met them) and significant others of a year or longer. She started asking who are the SO? Who cares?! You dont know them! But I told her who so I dont start stuff. Theyre all husbands or wives minus a groomsmans g/f of 3 years...mother of my flower girl and my sisters b/f (who should be a FI in a few months). She got pissy about the non married couples but insists her daughter brings her b/f (fine with me theyve been together a yr) and her other daughter gets a date (no b/f) Are you kidding me?!

Then lets top it all off with her saying she wants it at a certain place but isnt willing to pay for 35 people with their prices....BUT wont tell me what she is willing to spend and when I told her I'd look around she stops responding to my phone calls/emails. AND THEN tells FI a few days later she wants to give us money for the wedding as well. Soooooooooo she cant pay for the people I want at the rehearsal dinner but shes willing to give us more $$ and complain that her parents and certain OOT guests arent invited??? Adding all of them tags another 20ish people on!

Am I wrong in being a bit aggrivated? Ive pretty much decided Im going to give her the # of people and a list of resturants and their prices and she can chose...but Im not budging on the guest list.

So I guess I also want to I wrong in inviting SOs? It only an added 5 people.

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Rant

  • C*MiaC*Mia member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thats a tricky one a few people have different ideas who should be coming to a RD. My best friends wedding the RD was only immediate family and BP. A few extended family came that were OOT guests. Total about 20-25. 

    Mine our estimate guest list is about 60 that includes OOT guests, family, BP and serious SO's (similar to yours has to be a serious relationship)

    I agree more so with you... random guests should def not be coming to the RD. It shouldn't resemble a second wedding.
  • edited December 2011
    Wow... way too much drama for one dinner!  =)

    I hope everything works out.  I hate to say it, but whoever pays, has a say.  Granted it is the RD for your wedding, so you should certainly have a say in the guest list... but remember who is footing the bill.
    If she is throwing a tantrum about the extra few people, maybe offer to chip in a little to cover their share... (maybe just offering this will make her realize how silly she is being). 
    While I totally agree with you that the whole situation is totally ridiculous... they are still paying and can, therefor, be ridiculous.

    Fi and I are doing BP, SO and OOT guests... but we are doing a simple, laid back cookout... nothing fancy (and hopefully it will be relatively inexpensive).  Neither side of the family offered to pay for an RD, but if they did, I would have expected to turn over guest-listing duties to them... which would have probably irritated me so I am kind of glad that we are planning/paying for it ourselves.

    Anyway... I don't envy your position at all... I hope everything works out for you.  Good luck.
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