Tell me about...

DondadaTimes2

...your weekend!

Anyone do anything fun? Was it bad and you need to vent? I wanna know!

kevinandmonica2011

Moved stuff.... painted the living room... Dino BBQ for dinner last night (always a good time!!!)... hung out with Kevin's brother, Chad- who is our Best Man.  He's a good FBIL... helped us move and paint and do all the yucky boring stuff.  He pretty much rocks.

Umm.... accomplished absolutely ZERO wedding related anything.  That crazy long mind boggling wedding email that I mentioned last week (and I promised Abbe I would get back to her this weekend).... yeah.... that's still sittting in my inbox.  Maybe I'll deal with it tomorrow.  Maybe.

smclardy

I worked 20 plus hours.  And none of my research worked : ( But hey at least the weather is nice!

meagandal

We went to Buffalo to celebrate a friends 30th birthday, it was very fun obviously but omg bars open until 4 am, I can't hang like I used to - I felt very old.  Now nothing else got accomplished, I'm exausted and my house is a disaster. 

We're in a weird spot..... Did you guys freak out shortly after getting engaged?  Anyoen do any premarital couinseling? Like other than precana or whatever equivalent church stuff?

DondadaTimes2

Mine was mixed. By the attitude that "unfriendly"chick got Im sure you guys could tell!

Josh took me to Koto for dinner Friday then took me to Carousel and surprised me by buying me a Coach purse! He worked an over night shift that paid big and he felt we deserved to be pampered a bit. Yay!

Well, then Josh decided he also wanted to see his nephew (our RB) this weekend. Im usually all about that, except that we had him all day Sat, overnight, and half the day Sun. I love the little snot but hes not my kid and was not raised to be respectful in any way! So, Josh and I had a ton of shopping and such to do and he whined the whole time and then he'd run off if he saw toys and I got stuck watching him. Then I became the mean aunt b/c he flat out stopped listening to me and I had to get stern.

Then to finish my weekend, Fri night, Sat night, and Sun afternoon we were with my neighbors (friends of Josh) for bonfires and bbq's. Im sorry but too much of someone is a bad thing and finally Sun I sat on the couch and asked Josh to bring me food and keep the guys outside b/c I was sick of them. I made him promise I could go all week (excluding either Fri or Sat) without having to hangout with them. One of em has grown "Joshie Balls" (aka an attitude and is mouthy whenever Josh is around b/c he thinks Josh has his back) but his attitude has shifted a few times toward me. Josh and I have both told him thats a bad idea but he has yet to listen.

Overall, the date night Josh and I had Friday made the whole weekend worth it. But now you know where my attitude came from Sat/Sun nights!

DondadaTimes2

Whoa, didnt realize how long that was. Sorry

Meagan, the only counseling we're doing is with our pastor, but we talked about doing a group counseling a friend of Joshs suggested. The only reason we didnt is b/c he randomly gets sent OOT for weeks on end for his job and we didnt wanna chance that happening. I say if you think it would help, go for it!

kevinandmonica2011

Meagan- Kev and I did 8 sessions of pre-cana through our church.  Each session was about an hour long and we went once a week.  The sessions were conducted by a "mentor" couple.  It was absolutely amazing and we learned so much about it other.  It basically forces you to have those tough conversations.... money, children, child raising & punishment, family issues,

We have been together a while and lived together for almost 2 years, but it still really helped to lay it all out on the table and work through all of those sorts of issues ahead of time.  So many couples don't bother to have the money or kids talk until its too late.

Definitely recommend it!!!

meagandal

All the issues are a long long story and I'm not not wanting to marry him I'm just scared to set a precedent that its ok fo rus to be crazy and never see each other etc....

His brother just passed away a couple weeks ago and its been a really hard time for everyone (he was 39 and left behind 2 little girls) and we have this house that is jsut killing us and he works second shift so we only see each other weekends and when I manage to wake up for a bit when he gets home/he manages to wake up for my lunch break etc. 

Like I want to see us in the kind of life we want before we get married so I know its really going to happen.  If our schedules aren't ever going to mesh and if my house is always going to be half torn apart them I'm just not sure I'm up for it.
We are so busy we're out of town most weekends and none of its anyones fault he has to put his time in before he can go to a good shift and we knew that when he took the promotion

I guess I'm just inpatient, I feel like a crazy person and I'm not even into full wedding planning mode yet, what's that going to be like on top of my other issues??

sbolger17

This weekend was admitted students weekend at FI's grad school.  I'm really active in the club for spouses and we hosted a whole weekend of activities for the admitted students' spouses.  It was really fun!  But tiring; I came home midday yesterday and took a 4 hour nap.  FI was away at a rugby tournament all weekend so I had to talk about him and what being a spouse at grad school was like without him actually being around!

Now I feel like I need another day to recover from the weekend, but alas, I had to come into work an hour early this morning to cover for someone.  Is it 4:30 yet?

Meagan, we're not doing any counseling, but one of my good friends did counseling at one point during her relationship with her now-husband.  It was really helpful for them and let them work through issues in a "safe" environment. 

meagandal

PS THANK YOU!!! 

I can't beleive I just unloaded but man I am hitting my whits end.  I don't get along with my office mate and I was having a tough morning I needed to vent.

sbolger17

Meagan,

Just read the rest of your post.  It seems like you still have a lot of time before your wedding date to sort everything out, but if you feel like you should postpone, then you should do what you think is right.  In my opinion, there is a never a perfect time to get married; life will always get in the way somehow, but you do need to make sure you're in the right mental state for it.

Really sorry to hear about FI's brother; a death in the family is a really awful thing and is bound to affect FI (and you) greatly for the time being and leave you unable to think clearly.  Maybe give him some time to grieve and don't start any wedding planning quite yet?  Your profile says you're getting married in Sep 2012, so you have tons of time and don't even need to start looking at venues until summer (and even that is early!); you'd probably be fine booking it at some point next fall.  

DondadaTimes2

Meagan, I unload enough, its ok for you to unload back! If it makes you feel better and/or helps you sort through any issues, dont be afraid to unload.

kevinandmonica2011

Meagan- I'm very sorry for your loss and really sorry that you and your Fi are going through such a difficult time.  The girls on this board, I hope, will be good support, but it really sounds like the two of you could benefit from some pre-marital counseling.  Once things settle down, I would definitely look into it.

In the meantime, like PP said, you do have plenty of time.  Maybe just relax and enjoy being engaged!!!  You can start planning when you are able to catch your breath... and if you have to postpone your date, at this point, it's no biggie at all!!!  Wedding planning really should be fun, sure a little stress from time to time, but overall... fun.  If it's too stressfull to even think about right now, just take a step back... look at that rock on your finger and just enjoy the moment.  Hit the planning when you are ready to deal.

Welcome to the boards, again.  We are here to help so feel free to vent any time.

vibolemily

Meagan, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.  I hope it gets better for you soon.  We did precana through my catholic church and I thought it helped improve our communication. 

I'm traveling for work this weekend so I'm in Europe for a few days.  I got to spend a really nice afternoon with Vibol before I left so I was happy!  We went for a walk and had dinner on a patio overlooking the river. 

DondadaTimes2

Ooo. I mean to say Im very sorry to hear about your loss (I really didnt mean to just ignore that, Im sorry!) I know how hard it can be to lose a family member.

rsfan23

My weekend was good. (See post below). that's what I did most of Saturday. We dog sat for FI's parents dogs on Friday night. One of the dogs had surgery on his leg and needed attention. Sunday, just errands and hung out.

To Meagan: So sorry about your loss. Like PPs have stated, just enjoy your engagement now and don't stress.

As Bridgett said, this is what the knot is for-the unloading of issues. I know when I've had a bad day or something, I'll come here and vent. WR or NWR!

meagandal

Just to update and again thanks everyoen for advice, we have decided to do some pre-marital conseling AND he has transferred to 3rd shift which still isn't ideal but at least I'll get to see him more.  He'll get home as I go to work and leave for work and I am going to bed.

It sucks we wont sleep together btu really he never made it to bed before 3 being on 2nd and not getting home till 1am and usually he woke me up both times

SO I'm hopign I'll get more sleep which will make me a happier Meagan and I'll see him more which will make us a happier more productive couple!

sbolger17

I'm glad to hear it!

kevinandmonica2011

Thanks for the update Meagan!!!  Hope the changes you guys are making help!!  More sleep is always a good thing and I think pre-marital counseling can help bring you two even closer.  Best of luck and keep us posted!

DondadaTimes2

Josh's job randomly puts him OOT for weeks at a time (home on weekends) and as much as it absolutely sucks to sleep alone at first...you get used to it and Ive found after a few days I actually sleep better. Myabe it'll be the same for you!

Thanks for the update and good luck with the counseling and shift change. I think things will turn out great!