New York-Western

Honeymoon Registry

Girls I need your advice! So my fiance and I own a home together so obviously we dont need pots or a new vacume which is why we chose to do a honeymoon registry instead of the traditional bridal registry. Now heres my problem- I want to have a shower but not with gifts other than whats on my honeymoon registry.
1. what do you think of this? (ettiquette wise)
2. what should we do at my shower seeing we arent opening gifts?
3. How should my MOH put on invitations no gifts so that my guests stick with my registry of choice?

Thanks I appreciate it!

Re: Honeymoon Registry

  • edited December 2011
    I'm not 100% sure what a honeymoon registry is but my understanding is that it's basically like a regular registry where your guests log into your registry profile on a website and select a certain honeymoon activity to contribute money to, and it keeps track of who contributed to what for your thank you note purposes?

    First, I would make sure whomever volunteered to throw you a shower knows your registry plans. Throwing a shower can get expensive, and they might think you really don't need one and decide not to throw one. If the shower is still a go, maybe you could brainstorm ideas for how to 'open your gifts' at the shower. Note on the shower invitation what and where the registry is, and request that guests attending bring an envelope describing what they purchased for you and your fiance. I would also suggest making your honeymoon destination the theme for your shower, and try to find some games because I'm guessing it won't take you too long to open envelopes. 

    Most importantly, your registry information NEVER EVER goes on your actual wedding invitations. You can note the registry on the bridal shower invitations and on your wedding website (which you can list on the invitation). Most people will figure it out and stick to your registry. If anyone asks you where you are registered between the time you sent out invitations and the wedding, direct them to the wedding website. If some guests can't find where you're registered, they will likely just give you a check at your wedding and you can do whatever you want with that. HTH!
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  • edited December 2011
    1. I think it's a terrible idea. You're basically asking for money (which is tacky to do) and on top of it you're using a service that will take a portion of that money so they can remain in business.  If I was giving money to a Bride & Groom, I would want the Bride & Groom to get all of it, not just 95% of it, kwim?

    2. You don't have a shower.  The point of a shower is to "shower" the Bride with gifts.  You're asking for money.  So you'd be opening cards most likely and saying, "Oh! Aunt Sally, how generous, $500!" and then "Oh! Aunt Suzie, $20...thanks..."  You see how bad that is?

    3. You don't put that on the invitations.  You can have a tea or some other get together if you want, but you don't have a shower without gifts, that's silly.  Not to mention, *you* wouldn't be putting it there, whoever is throwing it for you should be...

    4. Listen, I get not wanting a lot of *stuff.*  My fiance and I live together, we didn't need a lot.  So what I did is put things on there that we could upgrade.  We have Pots & Pans, but they're a terrible set and on the verge of being useless.  So we put a new set on there.  We put some new towels, new sheets, etc.  We also have tools on there, some wine stuff, trivets, baking stuff that adds to what I have.  I wound up with a very small registry and a month away from my wedding, most stuff is gone.  I had a small shower, less than 20 people, and only had 1.  I'm sure that people will get the hint that we'd rather have cash than have physical gifts if they don't see something on the registry they'd like to give us.

    Just PLEASE don't do the honeymoon registry.  Please!
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  • edited December 2011
    We're also doing a honeymoon registry that is free through our cruise line , but just listing it on our wedding website. FI and I also live together and don't need many things, but like PP said what we have chosen is upgraded versions of things we already have, or things for the house we have wanted that we would never buy ourselves (waffle maker, wine fridge). 
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with all the PP's that it's not a good idea to have a shower where you'll just be collecting money.  I totally get the position you're in--my fiance and I live together and have most of the housing essentials--but I'm also planning to ask for updated items that are nicer than what we currently have (which are mostly hand-me-downs from our parents or cheap versions of the necessities). 

    I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing if you have a honeymoon registery, but I do think it's good  to have options beyond that for people who want to give you a gift besides money.  How about you pick one or two stores in addition to the h.r.?  That way people will be able to give you actual gifts if you want to have a shower, so you'll get around the etiquette concerns.
  • degreadegrea member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-western_honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:622Discussion:9288cfeb-3f71-45ea-9d8d-28684af8f56dPost:1b9ecf74-70c6-4da6-ba80-11765de0af46">Honeymoon Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girls I need your advice! So my fiance and I own a home together so obviously we dont need pots or a new vacume which is why we chose to do a honeymoon registry instead of the traditional bridal registry. Now heres my problem- I want to have a shower but not with gifts other than whats on my honeymoon registry. 1. what do you think of this?<strong>(ettiquette wise)</strong>2. what should we do at my shower seeing we arent opening gifts? 3. How should I put on invitations no gifts so that my guests stick with my registry of choice? Thanks I appreciate it!
    Posted by KelleyGault[/QUOTE]

    Etiquette wise honeymoon registries to begin with are a no no. So I would suggest you don't do it.

    As other have suggested you can always upgrade or get stuff for outside; grill, yard tools, etc. The stuff you put on your registry doesn't have to be just for the kitchen. Also do you really already have everything you will ever need in your kitchen. I doubt it! If you were to have Thanksgiving at your house this year would you need to go out and buy some stuff; like roasting pan, electric knife, serving dishes (veggie tray, chip and dip dish, etc.), table cloths, ice bucket, etc.

    I had all the basic kitchen stuff and really didn't need a lot but I was able to find plenty of stuff to put on my registry. I also decided to register for fine china and silverware. That stuff is expensive and not necessary but nice to have if you plan on entertaining or having holidays.
    To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair? - Dennis Miller
  • gymbugmj2kgymbugmj2k member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    a honeymoon registry is fine, but i agree with PP.  Give more options.

    You can explain on your registry that you and FI feel settled in your home life, and would love the gift of more romantic TIME together.  then you can include your honemoon registry items, plus perhaps gift cards for movies, restaurants, home improvement stores, craft stores, spas, etc.  basically things that enrich your relationship together.

    That way guests feel like they can give you 'date nights' or little special occasion gifts that you can use when you two want....instead of just being 'forced' to help pay for the honeymoon. Also, this helps with the 'shower' problem.  you'd have no problem opening gift cards or certificates. =)

    I also agree with PP about 'upgrading' certain items that you might not do ordinarily.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-western_honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:622Discussion:9288cfeb-3f71-45ea-9d8d-28684af8f56dPost:3ccabc6e-a79f-4a8c-836a-3b4289883f62">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]a honeymoon registry is fine, but i agree with PP.  Give more options. You can explain on your registry that you and FI feel settled in your home life, and would love the gift of more romantic TIME together.  then you can include your honemoon registry items, plus perhaps gift cards for movies, restaurants, home improvement stores, craft stores, spas, etc.  basically things that enrich your relationship together. <strong>That way guests feel like they can give you 'date nights' or little special occasion gifts that you can use when you two want...</strong>.instead of just being 'forced' to help pay for the honeymoon. Also, this helps with the 'shower' problem.  you'd have no problem opening gift cards or certificates. =) I also agree with PP about 'upgrading' certain items that you might not do ordinarily.
    Posted by gymbugmj2k[/QUOTE]

    <div>You're still asking for money.  And that's tacky.</div>
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  • degreadegrea member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-western_honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:622Discussion:9288cfeb-3f71-45ea-9d8d-28684af8f56dPost:3a271ed5-8d07-4498-b5dd-d225cd8d2db6">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry : <strong>You're still asking for money.  And that's tacky.
    </strong>Posted by kat22885[/QUOTE]

    agree!
    To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair? - Dennis Miller
  • KelleyGaultKelleyGault member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Obviously some of you dont know what a honeymoon registry is so look it up than comment because you DO NOT get cash for a honeymon registry
  • KelleyGaultKelleyGault member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A honeymoon registry is like any other registry online except its for a honeymoon!  Your personalized site shares your honeymoon wishes with your guests. Family and friends visit your page and use their credit cards to purchase your gifts towards part of your trip. Such as new luggage, a massage for the newly weds, bed and breakfast, swimming withthe dolphins or whatever your little heart desires. Its NOT asking for cash!!!! 
    &&& answering my own question above....instead of bringing gifts you open cards and a printout of what they purchased off your registry.
    Unreal how many negative nancys were so quick to comment on something you knew nothing about.!!!
    Ps. to who commented on me throwing my own shower...when did I ever state that? My MOH asked for advice for the invitations. You should prob learn how to read before offering someone rude advice
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-western_honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:622Discussion:9288cfeb-3f71-45ea-9d8d-28684af8f56dPost:d9621439-5e6d-49a2-a018-f48bd85d0985">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Obviously some of you dont know what a honeymoon registry is soook it up than comment because you DO NOT get cash for a honeymon registry
    Posted by KelleyGault[/QUOTE]

    <div>The way I understood it was that you put down what you're doing for your honeymoon, like if you were taking a cruise you could put down different excursions, or dinner at the fancier restaurant on board.  Then guests could "buy" those things (or give you X amount towards them) for you, and you get a check at the end.</div><div>
    </div><div>Is the one you're looking operate differently in that when a guest buys you an excursion or tour you'll get tickets for the tour?  Because that I wouldn't have a problem with, you're not asking for money.</div><div>
    </div><div>For what's it's worth, I just Googled "Honeymoon Registry" and looked at the top 4 results (in case I was misinformed.)  TravelersJoy.com cuts you a check.  1800registry gives you money.  Honeyfund (which I have heard of before) gives you money.  And...Honeymoonwishes also gives you money.  If you're using a different service that actually gives you the items you register for, instead of cutting you a check in the end, my responses totally change.  But in those 4 Honeymoon Registries, you ask for money towards an excursion and in the end get a check.  And they take a % from you that you actually get.  </div>
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-western_honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:622Discussion:9288cfeb-3f71-45ea-9d8d-28684af8f56dPost:0fec9bb8-2402-4cc5-820b-33522050896e">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]A honeymoon registry is like any other registry online except its for a honeymoon!  Your personalized site shares your honeymoon wishes with your guests. Family and friends visit your page and use their credit cards to purchase your gifts towards part of your trip. Such as new luggage, a massage for the newly weds, bed and breakfast, swimming withthe dolphins or whatever your little heart desires. Its NOT asking for cash!!!!  &&& answering my own question above....instead of bringing gifts you open cards and a printout of what they purchased off your registry. Unreal how many negative nancys were so quick to comment on something you knew nothing about.!!! <strong>Ps. to who commented on me throwing my own shower...when did I ever state that? My MOH asked for advice for the invitations. You should prob learn how to read before offering someone rude advice</strong>
    Posted by KelleyGault[/QUOTE]

    <div>I could have sworn I read that you said "we" and not "my MOH."  IF you didn't go back and edit for clarity, and it was that way all along, I apologize, I did read it incorrectly.  It was also one sentence of my entire original post, so I didn't really dwell on that.</div><div>
    </div><div>Secondly, if I were in your shoes, I would rather some internet stranger be straight with me that what I was planning on doing is considered against etiquette/rude/impolite than have my family & friends think that.  I didn't mean to be rude, it's just that in all the cases of Honeymoon registries I'm familiar with, you get cash.  And asking for cash is considered tacky.  Again, isn't that better to hear from a stranger than from your friends & family?</div>
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  • edited December 2011
    A honeymoon registry doesn't bother me as long as you have another one with options for gifts, because a HM registry is asking for money, or if you don't want to look at it that way, it is asking people to pay for your HM.  I would not go to a shower where I was told not to bring a gift but instead to contribute to your vacation.  It sounds a little bratty (I want this and you better get it and nothing else).  I know that probably isn't what you're going for.

    We also didn't need anything, but once we started registering for things that we wanted to upgrade, we found a lot of things to register for.  We picked good quality items that would last a long time instead of getting just the basics. 

    The point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts.   People don't want to sit there and watch you open a bunch of envelopes.  Also, you can't tell people not to bring a gift to a shower.  Registries are suggestions and people will buy what they want to buy for you.  I got a lot of off registry gifts even with 2 registries.
  • edited December 2011
    If I were you, I would make an additional small registry that people can shop from for your shower. It would alleviate all of the potential confusion. We also own our home, but we intend on having a small registry with practical items such as new towels and sheets. We have these things, but they're old and in some cases leftover from college.

    If you decide to stick with only the honeymoon registry, I say skip the "shower." Maybe have a brunch or something with your close relatives and bridal party, but having a "shower" with no gifts is silly.
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