So hurt and disappointed...Long.

jeremy.teresa

FI and I are trying to pin down the last of the group of people that haven't RSVP'd for the wedding.  I can't schedule our final walk through until we have a better handle on the head count and as of yesterday we had over 30 people that we weren't sure were coming or not.  So between yesterday and today we started getting a hold of people.  I'm watching the number of No's climb higher and higher.  For budget purposes, yeah its great.  Less people that come = less money to spend.  But we already have such a small guest list to begin with and it seems like it just keeps getting smaller and smaller.  I know that our wedding isn't as important to everyone else as it is us, but I have hardly anyone coming that are supposed to be my "friends".  They have all known about this for 2 years and have gotten STD's and invites, and now they decide that they can't come.  Don't get me wrong, I understand things happen, I really do.  But I feel like such a freaking loser.  I'm sure this is difficult to understand and it sounds like I'm being a big whiney baby.  I don't know many people to begin with.  It just stinks that I'm oldest of my siblings and the last to get married and I look back at how many people were there to support both my brother and sister a few years ago, and I feel like we are pale in comparison.I wanted a small wedding, yes.  But I was truly in my heart believing that it was going to be bigger than its turning out to be.  I feel all of the past 2 years of busting our butts working countless hours of overtime, and saving and planning have all been such a big waste.  I'm not saying that the day won't be great, I'm sure it will.  I'm sure everything will be beautiful and we love every decision that we have made.  But it also makes you sit back and think "hey, I just wasted so much time and energy".  So I'm bummed and sad and going to go home after work and cry.  Because I can.  I just want some encouragement I guess.  Now that we are only 25 days away, I don't even feel like doing this big hoopla.  Sigh.

econner42

I'm sorry that so many people can't come especially after sending out save-the-dates and that you are so upset about it. I understand how you feel...I would be hurt too. But you have to know that although you want as many friends and family members there as possible, what really matters is if the two of you are there. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true. You can look at it in a more positive light - it's less money you have to spend, like you said, and it will be a much more intimate night since fewer people will be attending! I think that will be great b/c you will get to spend time with everyone instead of spreading yourselves thin that night. It's sad b/c you always find out who your true friends are on these most important parts of your life.

IG.muse

*hugs* Maybe it's just a coincidence that these people aren't able to come. They might all have good reasons and really be upset about not being able to make it. If it makes you feel any better I know that some of my relatives just go to weddings because they can't miss a good party. So quantity of guests is far from the same thing as quality. You worked so hard to make this wedding be amazing and the people who truly appreciate you and your hard work will be there to enjoy it.

afloggie

That is horrible. I am very sorry to hear that. If I knew you I would come to your wedding. I am sure you will haev a wonderful intimate wedding and it will be gorgeous just like you! Smile honey bunches!

kam2210

I'm so sorry you have to be so sad about your wedding! I'm sure once it gets here and happens, you will have a wonderful day. Keep your chin up, we've all had bad days where we just want to walk away.

lrtrauth

teresa, I am having the same problem and i definitely know how you feel. I have had dreams of this perfect day and I feel completely jipped right now.

jarmstrong23

::::HUGS:::::: I know a couple of "mail-order brides" that would be a great addition to any guest list!    Keep your chin up (after you cry), eat some ice cream, order some pizza, drown your sorrows in some margaritas, do what you have to do to expel these sad thoughts, and remember that this too, shall pass. Your wedding day will be here before you know it, and the people that will be there love you and FI so much that you won't even remember being sad today.  We love you!! Feel free to vent any time on here!!

Mrs42509

::big hugs::I also know several mail order brides that will be there in a heart beat if need to I'm so sorry your feeling this way and I know exactly how you feel.  We've talked on it some before.  I wanted a big huge wedding and I pretty much got in but I wish I could go back and change it.  I wish we would have had less than half of what we did.  It makes it more intimate and it gives you a way bigger and better chance to actually enjoy your day and the time with your new hubby.  I know we've only had the opportunity to hang out a couple of times but your my girl...your my FRIEND...and I love ya!  Remember everything happens for a reason and as you told me numerous times during my planning everything will be worth it in the end.  If you need another shoulder to cry on (other than Jeremy) let me know.

Future.Mrs.Shawty

Or a shoulder to puke/pass out on!!!!!! Ditto all the mushy stuff up there! We are here for you however you need us to be!

jeremy.teresa

I have to say that through my almost 30 years of life, you girls have been more supportive, honest, caring, and incredibly wonderful than some of the people I have known for years.  I went to my parents after work today and had a long cry.  I hate feeling so crappy and I get home to all of these wonderful responses from you ladies.  Why I ever doubted the friendships that I have begun to make with you all is beyond me.  I can't say enough to thank you all for everything you said.  It doesn't take ALL of the sting away, but knowing that I can call upon you girls means more to me than anything.  My heart is so full right now.  I have to go cry some more.  I have so much love for all of you I can't even begin to tell you!

mrs.dilligaf

Aw, I'm sorry.  You aren't whiny, you're just bummed.  I remember being in a very similar situation.  We ended up missing a ton of people due to my uncles last minute major surgery.  Lots of folks missed coming because they were with him.  I didn't see anything but DH when I walked down the aisle, but when I turned around after the kiss, my side seemed so empty.  I was depressed for about a second, and then Boom!  My bridal party set off champagne poppers.  Put me right back into my happy mood.  I didn't think of them again until DH and I were talking in the hotel. Small weddings can be fun.  I didn't have a ton of people at mine, and most everyone had a blast.  I got to spend more time with the people who were there, which was really cool.  It's totally natural to be upset when people can't make the time to come to one of the most important days of your life.  But honestly, DH and I have talked about people so many times and said, "they weren't there?"  Here's hoping you can have a great time with those who are there. 

MrsHeatherMarie

I'm really sorry you're going through this right now.  I know what you feel like and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.  For instance, today is my birthday and I got few acknowledgements from friends, which hurts. I know it is very small in comparison, but sucks.  I'm worried too about experiencing what you are going through right now.I know it is easier said then done, but try to focus on each other and the people that are actually there.  Just know how much those people do care about you.  And bonus, you will save money.  No matter what though, it still sucks.  Ecspecially with such an important moment in your life.  Try to keep your head up.  ::hugs::

blueeyegurl82

*HUGS* I am really sorry to hear that... I totally understand you here, weddings arent easy to plan and are costly. I know our venue had in our contract that we have to have at least 125, thats the number I figured, if its less we have to pay the diffence. We all want the people we are close to to be apart of such a special day in our lives. I wouldnt miss any wedding I was invited to unless something major came up, after all its an honor to be invited and to celebrate the joining for two familys and celebrating love of two people you care about! Dont worry hun no matter what your wedding will be beautiful and at the end of the day you are still going to be married to the man you love... Just remember that and keep thinking of that, I am sure when you are walking down that aisle to him everyone and everything else will fade out anyways! Good luck and have a wonderful wedding!

stosha1

*HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG* Sorry I was soaking it up while you were tearing up. I wish I could be here for you!We sent out invites to about 140 ppl and had about 91 on day-of (we had people that RSVP yes and didnt show or call or anything). We had one whole entire table not come. Which sucked but gave our vendors a place to sit amongst our other guests (we already had a table and place for them away from our guests). So it worked out. I figured at the end of the day we're married and it didn't matter to me who was there besides me and Sam. Chin up Chica. It'll be worth it in the end.