XP- How many guests for your bachelorette party and bridal shower?

mandctaft

So my BM got ahold of me yesterday because she was ordering stuff on Oriental Trading for her son's birthday party and was going to get some stuff for my bachelorette party just to combine the order. She asked me how many people would probably be there. I said 15-20. Is that too many? Too few? Also, it got me thinking about the bridal shower guest list and I used the handy-dandy tool on TK and I have like 50ish that would probably be invited to the shower. I have a guest list of 223 so my BM(different) said that wasn't too bad for as many guests as there are, but my cousin said that was a really high number for a shower.

When my BM asked about a shower and b-party, I made it clear that I didn't want anything fancy or expensive, so pizza or something cheap would be fine. So I don't know if the cost thing is a problem, but what does everyone think?

Also, not totally unrelated, did you guys put your foot down on some things for your b-party? Like no strippers is a big one, but my BM mentioned a tiara for me and I just said I don't want penises on it. She called me a prude! I just would want to have it in my house and not feel like I have to hide it from my 9yo future step daughter. Was I out of line?

Elinetrouwt

Penises on a tiara? I've never seen it, and it sounds so tacky. I think you're well within your rights to say no. My friends would never order strippers. I don't know how it is in the US, but overhere it's a trend to humiliate the bride by giving her little assignments that she has to do out on the streets, asking strangers for favors or selling kisses or whatnot. I told them that I don't want that, but they're not the kind of crowd that would do that in the first place.

I"ll have nine people on my b party, but I don't think your number is 'wrong'. 

Nancy00714

Hello!  Your numbers sound fine.  Like you say if you are having 223 people at your wedding and are inviting 50 to your shower that doesn't sound over the top.  I am having about 100-110 at mine and am having 26 people invited. 

As for Bachelorette party, that number really depends on what you want.  If you feel those 15-20 people are your nearest and dearest then go for it.  I don't know if it's the same way in your circle, but your BM shouldn't really have to worry about the cost for things for your Bach (unless she wants to provide favors for everyone withour charging but then i'm sure your other BMS could chip in if they wanted to) because usually everyone who's going chips in for bach party (except the bride).  That's the way it is where I'm from anyways...And I'm having about 6-9 people at my bachelorette.

And definitely put your foot down about whatever you don't want to do or don't feel comfortable about.  There's no reason you should be forced to wear penises on a tiara if you don't want to! 

BmoreBride311

For my shower we're inviting 45, but my estimate is it'll be about 20-25, just b/c almost everyone is OOT. I have no idea about my bachelorette party yet, but I'd guess it'd be a good bit smaller (10-15).

It depends what you do for the bachelorette, but I would tend to not want to do a big group for that if you plan to do bar/club hopping, just b/c it gets hard to keep the group together when your ready to bounce to the next stop.

michelle11988

I will probably have 25-30 people invited to my bridal shower and probably 10-15 for my bachelorette party.  I'm not sure we are still trying to figure out exactly what friends we are asking since our budget might get slightly cut if end up buying the house that we just put the offer in on.

dramaqueen91087

My showers are huge. The first one is about 60 people, but thats mostly because it includes men and families. The second one, the list is around 40-50 people but we think we'll end up around 30 because of OOT people. Still, this is why I split them, if I had one it would be around 100 people invited! 

For the bachelorette, mines going be really small, probably around 5 of us. Most of girl friends are OOT and I'm already asking them to come for the shower and the wedding. So I'm not having them come for the bachelorette unless they really want to. That leaves my very few local friends.

littlemoments324

My shower guest list is 65 people...(including children), so I suppose around 55 adults I think...

as for the b-party, we aren't having b-parties since we live so far away from everyone...however, if we had one, we'd probably have around 15-20 people...maybe more at the bars/club...but those wouldn't need anything, just the bridal party would need the 'fun' stuff to say this is who we are...

mekiakoo

I think penises are funny. I would totally wear anything penis related But don't feel forced to do anything you're not comfortable doing! My bachelorette party will have about 12 girls and we're going camping!

I'm going to have 4 showers I can't believe it, I'll explain:

#1: Hosted by my aunt & BMs 4 hours away, in the town I grew up in
#2: Hosted by FMIL's friends/my co-workers here
#3: Hosted by my best friend (MOH)'s mom- she wants a mother/daughter shower (we all grew up together and it's just going to be a fun get together) This one will be 4 hours away
#4: Combined showers with FI's cousin- this will be FI's family only

I have no idea what the guest list will look like for each shower. I don't think each of them will be huge, we are NOT inviting same guest to more than one shower, except for my mom. I want my mommy by my side

LADY324

Our guest list for the wedding is 226 I have 60 people on my shower list and about 20 on my bach party list.  My bach party is just my closest friends I also invited my mom along with one of her friends.

colleenm18

Our wedding guest list is 256 and I have about 70 people on the Shower list and I will prob have about 20 people invited to the Bach party but not sure how many will actually come (we are going to Atlantic City and a lot of my friends have kids so it will depend on sitters ect.)

I also Love all of the obnoxious Bachelorette stuff so I am all for wearing it, but I would NEVER make anywhere where it if they are uncomfortable!  The more tacky the better hahah

bridetobe71412

I'm with colleen and mekiakoo - I think the bachelorette party penises, games, etc. are hilarious, but I did put my foot down and say no strippers. I find it really awkward, but to each their own. If you feel strongly that there are things you're not comfortable with, you should be able to tell your friends and they should respect that!

I think your numbers are totally fine. We're inviting 225 people to the wedding. The shower is about 50ish people, but many are OOT and will not come. For the bachelorette party, it's 10-12 of us. It's destination (Vegas) so I didn't think everyone that my MOH invited would be able to come anyway (she invited 25).

Edited to add: For the bach party, my friends attending the bach party are only paying for one night's activities - one fancy dinner/dancing. The rest of it I'm covering (including plane ticket, drinks, etc.). 

butterflyjumper1

totally agree with the others. penis decorations, cakes, etc. are hilarious, and your bachelorette party is the one time it is appropriate and acceptable to be so hilarious.  i don't want any strippers either. it is fine to put your foot down if you really want your bachelorette party to be G-rated - but c'mon, have some fun with your girls! 

i also think your numbers are totally appropriate - don't worry about them at all. my shower will be around 60ish on the invite list, and i am planning to have between 15-20 invited to the bachelorette party (although lots of my close girlfriends are far away, so we will probably be between 10-15 in actual attendance).

bells24412

I am having about 75 people for my bridal shower, and about 10 people for my bachelorette party.

mandctaft

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_xp-how-many-guests-for-your-bachelorette-party-and-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:a5174dd2-28f6-471f-b95d-736fc25c6bd3Post:31d7b7e6-3d99-4024-bbc6-f2a340ab65be">Re: XP- How many guests for your bachelorette party and bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>totally agree with the others. penis decorations, cakes, etc. are hilarious, and your bachelorette party is the one time it is appropriate and acceptable to be so hilarious.  i don't want any strippers either. it is fine to put your foot down if you really want your bachelorette party to be G-rated - but c'mon, have some fun with your girls!</strong>  i also think your numbers are totally appropriate - don't worry about them at all. my shower will be around 60ish on the invite list, and i am planning to have between 15-20 invited to the bachelorette party (although lots of my close girlfriends are far away, so we will probably be between 10-15 in actual attendance).
Posted by butterflyjumper1[/QUOTE]

I'm totally fine with it and I'm not a prude. My sister had one and it was great, but as I said, I don't want it to be something I have to hide from my step-daughter. Penis necklaces and rings are great, because I can hide stick those in my beside drawer and not worry about it. Also, my mom IS a prude and I mentioned that BM was ordering stuff and she said, "Really? Do we have no class?" She doesn't think much of BM anyway, but she definitely has a stick up her butt sometimes. My bach party is my BMs and a couple of GMs SO's. My moms and his. A couple cousins, a couple aunts, and a couple friends. I don't think a lot of them will come, but that's the invite list.

butterflyjumper1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_xp-how-many-guests-for-your-bachelorette-party-and-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:a5174dd2-28f6-471f-b95d-736fc25c6bd3Post:d511aaee-8a3b-4929-8b4c-acba0fcd39eb">Re: XP- How many guests for your bachelorette party and bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: XP- How many guests for your bachelorette party and bridal shower? : I'm totally fine with it and I'm not a prude. My sister had one and it was great, but as I said, I don't want it to be something I have to hide from my step-daughter. Penis necklaces and rings are great, because I can hide stick those in my beside drawer and not worry about it. Also, my mom IS a prude and I mentioned that BM was ordering stuff and she said, "Really? Do we have no class?" She doesn't think much of BM anyway, but she definitely has a stick up her butt sometimes. My bach party is my BMs and a couple of GMs SO's. My moms and his. A couple cousins, a couple aunts, and a couple friends. I don't think a lot of them will come, but that's the invite list.
Posted by mandctaft[/QUOTE]

totally understand about mothers and penis decorations not mixing. perhaps while your mom and his mom are around, you guys could do dinner/punch/present opening/etc., and then the moms could leave and you guys could do the more inappropriate stuff (like penis decorations and naughty games) then? that is how it has operated at some of the parties i have been to where moms were invited :)

bridetobe71412

I agree with butterfly re your mom/aunts/etc.. You could always put it off until later in the night.

However, if the 9-yr-old isn't coming, then why not just get rid of the stuff afterwards? Like, throw it out or give it away to someone who just HAS to have a penis tiara in their accessories drawer? Your future stepdaughter won't find it in your place if you get rid of it! Most of the stuff is disposable anyway, right? I mean, I am NOT keeping a penis tiara. Even though I think it would be hysterical to give to my fiance because he would not find it funny at all . . .

sunshine9779

Glad I stumbled on this thread, my MOH asked me to compile a list for my shower and I came up with 50 out of our 173 person guest list. I was nervous that was too many, but sounds like I'm on par with most here. I'm not sure about the bachelorette party. FI has two teenage daughters who I want to be involved in everything so no penis paraphernalia for us.