Marriage Counceling?

ivorybride09

Did any of you have to do counceling?  I'm a little scared, because I'm afraid I won't know an answer and they are going to be like yeah you guys really shouldn't get married.  What type of questions does the preacher ask, and what do you have to do? Thanks!

eek214

I think it's a great idea. Our minister requires us to have at least one session with him before he marries us. It helps him to feel more comfortable on the big day too. I'm sure he'll just ask what your future plans are and your personality styles, etc.

hccpsu

It depends on your church.  Ours had us fill out a marriage inventory form, which was about 140 multiple choice questions.  Then the minister took both of our books to compare our answers so we could find out the areas we might want to work on.  Our minister also recommended a counselor if we wanted any sessions after the few we were allowed at the church (my church only allows a minister to have three sessions unless they are a certified pastoral counselor).I wouldn't be afraid of counseling.  If you are worried they'll say you shouldn't get married, you'll have the opportunity to figure out why, and that can only make your relationship stronger.

ivorybride09

I think the main thing I'm worried about is one of my friends had to tell them if they had had pre-marital sex, and if so they would have to sign something saying they wouldn't again before the wedding.  I just don't want to feel judged, and I don't want to lie like I know my friends have done.  I just hate that feeling like someone thinks you are living a horrible life, because I'm not a bad person.

jan_it_2004

The pastor that is marrying the fi and I wants to do one session with us and he actually sent me all the questions we will be discussing...it was very nice cause the Fi and I have already answered them all and discussed them which is what the pastor wanted us to do.

HyperChicaPR

We have to do counseling as well. The pastor shouldn't judge you for anything you do. Our church asked us to consider not having sex before the wedding. It wasn't a requirement, but they wanted us to at least talk about it. The point of counseling is to help you have a stronger relationship, not to tear you apart. Any pastor who tries to make you feel bad isn't doing a good job. Counseling will help you feel better about your relationship. It should force you guys to confront issues that you may not think about otherwise. Good luck, and it will be nothing but positive!