Our officiant is the brother of one of the groomsmen. He has known my fiancee since they were in high school and we feel very priveleged to have him do the ceremony. What would be an appropriate payment? The other night we asked him if he'd want us to donate to a local congregation since he doesn't provide weekly services to one or would he like us to donate to a charity. When I told my mom she questioned why we wouldn't just pay him? I never thought about it because I thought when you get married in a church you just make a donation to the church. We are not getting married in a church so I figured we should ask him where he would like a donation to be made. I didn't even think about giving him the money. I don't know what I was thinking!!!