Maryland

Need Help- Setting a Date

I have a dilemma. We put a deposit down to get married in September and we thought that Saturday would be the best day. We just recently found out that Sundays would work best for the Groom's side of the family because they simply can't afford to close their business on the busiest day of the week. However, I have family members flying in from the West Coast, that if I have a wedding on a Sunday, they would have to fly back on Monday and I have people missing work or school. What is the best way to resolve this predicament?

Re: Need Help- Setting a Date

  • edited December 2011
    I would talk to your family and see how they react to the idea of having the wedding on a Sunday.  If everyone seems really opposed to taking off on Monday, then you have a little more to consider.  I would sit down with your FI and make a 'VIP' list - people that MUST be there.  This should be a very small list (I don't care how big your families are), like only siblings, parents, grandparents IF you're very close to them, and maybe your nearest and dearest friends.  These are the people that we ran the idea of a Friday wedding by (and the date), because we needed to make sure it was possible that they could be there.  Keep in mind that generally these are the same kinds of people that will take a Monday off from work to go to your wedding if at all possible.

    You said that you put the deposit down for a September wedding, but is there any way that you can move it to a different month? If missing school is a big concern, you could consider the summer, since school will be out of session.  Another option would be to give up the deposit (if that's feasible, depending on how much it is) and move the wedding to the West Coast, but pick a date in the least busy season for your FI's family.  You may have to decide if it's okay that some of your more extended family, and less dear friends won't make the trip or take off the time; it's part of picking a date.

    You can't please everyone, so I would try and please the largest amount of people.  If you're talking about making 40 people happy but 10 people are inconvenienced, then that's probably better than the other way around.  Sometimes people have to make sacrifices to attend weddings, or not attend, and unfortunately in this scenario it sounds like it may be the case.

    I hope that made sense, and good luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    How about moving your date to the Sunday of Labor Day weekend?  We got married that Sunday this year.  It worked out well for our guests who traveled since it gave them extra travel time.  It was cheaper for us, and since most people have that Monday off, it's essentially like a Saturday wedding.
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  • edited December 2011
    I would strongly discourage having your wedding during a holiday weekend.  My FI and I went to a 2 day wedding Memorial Day weekend and it just ate up so much time.  Saturdays events were in north New Jersey and then we had to fight with shore traffic to get to the rehersal Saturday afternoon/evening in DE.  And when you are talking Maryland, you have to consider holiday traffic. 
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_maryland_need-setting-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:627Discussion:c5af2b51-d89a-42e3-b23e-2c1d8a5296d9Post:c8b0c342-7c66-46ed-8094-9528cc47c2ce">Re: Need Help- Setting a Date</a>:
    [QUOTE]How about moving your date to the Sunday of Labor Day weekend?  We got married that Sunday this year.  It worked out well for our guests who traveled since it gave them extra travel time.  It was cheaper for us, and since most people have that Monday off, it's essentially like a Saturday wedding.
    Posted by sunshine_day_dreams[/QUOTE]

    This. We are having out wedding on the Sunday before Memorial Day this year, and I've gotten zero compliants so far from either family. Depending on where your venue is located, you might not even have any issues with traffic, so I wouldn't base your decision on that.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_maryland_need-setting-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:627Discussion:c5af2b51-d89a-42e3-b23e-2c1d8a5296d9Post:51ac622e-b0b4-4b11-baf7-e932fe0c6613">Re: Need Help- Setting a Date</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need Help- Setting a Date : This. We are having out wedding on the Sunday before Memorial Day this year, and I've gotten zero compliants so far from either family. Depending on where your venue is located, you might not even have any issues with traffic, so I wouldn't base your decision on that.
    Posted by kira&jake[/QUOTE]

    We also got zero complaints.  People were actually happy to have the extra time to travel and to spend with us since we live far from both of our families and most of our friends. 

    Of course some people will find it inconvenient, but we didn't have any problems.  The people who are important to us were there and would have been no matter when or where it was.

    We also didn't have a 2-day wedding or have people drive between states.  I can understand PP's frustration at that.  If you're staying in one place and not expecting too much of your guests, I think it could work out well.
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  • Kerry9703Kerry9703 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    How about a Friday night compromise?
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