First some background: On of my bridesmaids (future sister in law-good friends) has three little girls and recently a little boy. Her oldest little girl was in another inlaws wedding last year (she'll be 5 when my wedding comes). I want the two youngest as my flower girls because I had a cute Idea to go along with it and also one is my fiances god daughter, I wanted to include the other for my idea and to give her a last chance to be a flower girl (they will be 4 and 3). I also wanted a different possible ring bearer (not her son). When I approached using her two youngest girls she went into how her oldest might feel left out and proceeded to go into how we could possibly fit her oldest into the wedding. Then she said that her oldest could walk the newest boy down the aisle as a "co ringbearer" or something. So now she has somehow suggested her whole family in my wedding and also talked to my mother in law about it who brought the SAME EXACT IDEA up to me today. I'm feeling a little bullied.
I DO NOT want this many kids in my semi-formal wedding and I am not sure if I even want a ringbearer or not. Her son would only be 1 and a half years old which I think is WAY to young for a 5 year old to control. 4 kids under 5 seems like a potential disaster to me and I just do not want the wedding to become about her kids. I also do not think I should have to alter my original wedding party for the sake of one 5 year old who probably wont remember anyways and I don't feel like I should have to "invent" a part for her possibly causing ME to spend extra money. Don't get me wrong, I love my future niece and this isn't meant to hurt her or her parents feelings...I just dont want 3 flower girls or some "invented" part.
I am perfectly fine, if it becomes an issue, with just having my fiances goddaughter be in the wedding and having 1 flower girl instead...not my ideal choice but its my bridesmaids decision since its her child. But I refuse to be bullied into having all of her kids in my wedding.
ADVICE???