Private reception

lurajhamilton

So money is tight and I am wondering. Is it completly tacky to have a private reception after the wedding for family and wedding party only?

HOLSTANG

Yes.  If money is tight (and it is for everyone right now), then just invite the people you can afford.

People will find out and be very angry.  I know I would be angry, if I was only invited to the ceremony and found out later there was a party that I wasn't invited to afterwards.  It's rude.

lala90

First off--you could probably afford a coffee and dessert reception if you really wanted everyone to have some cake and time to chat.

However, I think a private reception is fine. I don't think it is rude.  I wouldn't "hide" the private reception either. I would tell people..."I would love for you to be at my wedding ceremony, but we aren't really having a reception due to funds--just my immediate family is going out to dinner afterwards.  However, I would love people to  wittness our vows and be part of our special day."

On the invitations I would say,  "John and Mary request your attendance for their wedding ceremony and vow exchange from 3-4pm"--And hopefully people would already have heard there is not a reception to follow. Good Luck.

HOLSTANG

A wedding reception is a party held after the completion of a marriage ceremony. It is held as hospitality for those who have attended the wedding, hence the name reception: the couple receives society, in the form of family and friends, for the first time as a married couple. Hospitality takes the form of food and drink, since etiquette requires that anyone invited to a social function be offered proper refreshments.

I don't see anywhere where it says "only the ones I deem worthy may come to the reception".

lala90

"Hospitality takes the form of food and drink, since etiquette requires that anyone invited to a social function be offered proper refreshments."

FYI=Cake, cookies, punch, or coffee counts as food and drink.  Maybe the church or wedding site has a small room or garden where you could talk with guests and they could have eat some goodies for about an hour after the ceremony....no need for a full meal, dj, flowers, etc.

I went to a wedding just a few months ago where they had punch and cookies made by their family....It was just fine with me and as soon as I wished the couple well, I went home.