wedding party dilema

tmauris0615

i'm kinda in a bit of a dilema. i have a really good friend who i want to be a bridesmaid, so no problem there. But i recently got back in touch with my best friends for years and we are working thru our miscommunications from the past and i really want her to be my matron of honor. the only problem is that i'm in san diego and she's in texas. has anyone else come across this?? any advice would help me out. i have a bit before i have to ask my girls, i just want to make sure everything will work out with my first pick being an out of stater.

jayasolo

I haven't had this particular problem (though I want my cousin from out of state to be a bridesmaid), but I think this will work out just fine. They have a couple of articles on here about this exact thing. I think that as long as the two of you talk a lot and keep the communication and expectations open, you will be just fine. Maybe this will be a case where you spread the roles a little bit more amongst your bridesmaids. I'd say just talk to her and see what she thinks and what her ideas are. I'm sure she'll be able to give you some ideas on how to make this work.

wendysandiego

Both of my bridesmaids were from out of town--Virginia and Canada. I don't think it matters, as long as they don't feel left out if you do activites/events with your others. With mine, I never had any "duties" I expected them to do--that whole idea bothers me in general. I picked them because they are my best friends, and I wanted to acknowledge their friendship in my wedding.

mrsandersentobe

I have two matrons of honor, my best fried and my sister. My best friend is up in Orange County, my sis in Fresno. It has been not been a problem with them out of town. Just know that she may not be able to make it to everything (bridal showers, bachelorette party, etc). To me, my friendships with both of them meant more to me to have them next to me on my wedding day, than choosing someone else just because they live in town.

liashke

ALL of my attendants are from out of town. :P  One in Pennsylvania, two in Maryland, and one in Missouri.  Sure, it might be nicer to have local BMs, but... to me having the people most important to me in the wedding party is much more important than having them be local.If you ask on the Wedding Party board, you'll probably get a lot of people saying the only duties of a BM are to get a dress and show up/pose for some pictures.  So it doesn't matter if they're from out of town.  You can't make them work, they don't have any real duties that being local would make the difference for.That said, I admit it would be nice to have some local ones.  But my FSIL and FMIL are both eager to help with things and my FMIL in particular is very crafty, so I'm going to ask for their help with my DIY projects.But I still talk with my attendants, and I run things by some of them just because we find it fun to talk about the wedding.  I post pictures on my website for them to see, and send emails with links, etc.  The internet makes long-distance much easier.   For picking dresses, I'm trying to make it easy on them.  David's Bridal is accessible for all of them (Alfred Angelo is not, though it might be another option for you), so they'll probably get dresses from there.  I've had luck in being able to visit two of the BMs so far, and we've gone to David's together to pick out dresses for them.  Two down, two to go. :)Anyway, boiled down, I see nothing wrong with out of town attendants.