Going to scream (Another long vent)

honeybear072012

This is kind of what I expect but I did not expect it this close to the wedding.

FI's BM's wife is not coming to the wedding.  There are circumstances that just won't allow it which I totally get and I'm not really mad at her that she's not coming.  What frustrates me is that they had to tell me 4 days before the wedding after the final count is in and I finalize the seating and they didn't have and they didn't even tell me that she wasn't coming, him mom told me. 

I was going to have the BM and MOH sit at the head table with us and have their SO's sit with them as well so there would be 6 sitting at the head table.  We did this at my sister's wedding and I loved it. 

Now I'm left with the decision of if I want to have 5 at the head table and draw attention to the fact that he's alone, bring up one of the GM's (who is also BM's brother and he threw the bachelor party for FI) or send my MOH's boyfriend to sit with her parents and put 9 at their table instead of 8 (not a big deal to me).

The other option is a sweetheart table but I have the bridal party tables full already and this would require putting in one table of 4 (probably our parents would go here) or making those tables tables of 10 and 9 which is really crowded IMO and as much as I would like time alone with FI, I want to sit next to my MOH as well.

We're asking the BM what his thoughts are.  I just needed to vent, it's just so frustrating that this is happening like this.

Thanks for listening!

dawnleanna1

That sounds really annoying, I can't believe no one told you. I have not gone through trying to do a seating chart yet, but I hear it's a pain. What we decided to do at our wedding is have a sweethart table and then let our MOH and BM sit with their wives/husbands. I would love to sit with my MOH, but I felt it would be more comfortable for everyone else to do it this way.

michelle11988

That totally sucks! We just had a couple backout as well, the husband has been in the hospital for two weeks.  But they were a hard group to seat and now had we known earlier we could have consolidated to one less table, oh well! It sucks too because we already paid the caterer for them.

honeybear072012

Michelle can you call your caterer and change the seating chart?  At least then it doesn't look like you have a bunch of missing people.

michelle11988

Well it would rearrange a whole bunch of people and I really don't want to redo the escort cards.  Is that pure laziness or just exhaustion at this point?  I'm considering doing a pure etiquette no-no and inviting two friends in their place as I had tried to get their address for months and didn't get it until 3 weeks ago.......

Eliz77

In your shoes, I'd keep things as are. Not the same thing, but I just found out  tonight, about 5 minutes after I finished my table cards and inked in the seating chart (already gave "total" the otehr day) that two of FI's friends cannot come due to no coverage at work. Both were to bring dates, so that lowered our guests from 102 to 98...and we have to pay for 100 regardless.

I really don't care about uneven tables or that their particular table went from 10 to a 6. I'd ask BM what his preference is, but chances are no one but you will be aware someone is missing from that table.

toomanychoices17

Honeybear- I think it's better to have slightly crowded tables than a table of 4, but that's just my personal preference. I like having more people to talk to!

Michelle-I know etiquette says no B-list, but I'd do the same thing- you've already paid for extra people, so you might as well invite friends. If you were going to invite family members, I think that's likely to offend those guests, but friends- go for it

honeybear072012

Michelle - Invite them!