Minnesota

Wedding Family Blues

I'm engaged to wonderful man who's family I adore. However, I did not include his two sisters in my bridal party simply because we are not close. I included instead those of my friends that are like sisters to me and that I have known since childhood. It was recently brought to my attention that both sisters were VERY angry with me for not including them in my bridal party. I explained that I didn't think we had that kind of relationship and that I included those who were closest to me. I have offered to have them come down the aisle as "Sisters of the Groom" but I don't think either of them are happy with that decision. I don't think I'm being unreasonable but it would be nice to not have both of them angry with me on the happiest day of mine and my fiance's life :(. Any suggestions?

~Bella
*BellaDancerella*

Re: Wedding Family Blues

  • hippoloverhippolover member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You could maybe ask them to do other things for the wedding.  Ask them to go dress shopping with you? Maybe ask them to be personal attendents or usher? Everyone wants to feel needed, but on the same time they need to realize that it is your special day and respect your decisions. 

    Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    This is a dilemma! When it comes to family, sometimes it is necessary to make some exemptions, but it's necessary to draw the line somewhere. It sounds like you want to maintain a great relationship with your fiance (soon to be husband)'s family. I would suggest getting them involved in the nuptials. I'm not sure if you are religious, but if you have special passages/verses/poems being read, consider offering them this honor. At the end of the day, it is your wedding, and your wedding party represent the people in your life who will be standing up FOR you! 

    I'm sorry this does't answer your question clearly, but it really comes down to how long you think your future family will hold this against you. If the answer is "forever" then you should probably try to make some sort of amends.
  • edited December 2011
    I don't think you need to include them as part of your side. If your FI thinks they need to be part of the wedding, he can put them on his side. Otherwise, they can sit as guests. Most siblings that are not part of the BP do this, and hopefully can be mature enough to do it gracefully and without pouting.
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm going through the same thing, but with my own sisters!! i have 5 of them and since we both want a small bridal party instead of picking and chosing between them and living with a lifetime of fighting, i chose none of them and went with my 3 best girlfriends!! BUT! i will be getting dressed with them that morning, i will have them doing readings, ushering, programs etc, and a few days before the wedding we're all going to the spa for a sisters day (this was actually suggested to me by another poster here on the boards) together for mani pedis and the works!! they where upset at first, but they'll get over it :) Its your and your fiances big day! stick to your guns and itll all turn out the same way!
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