QUestion on tipping

swiechk

I've heard mixed things about etiquette on tipping. Do you give an additional tip if a contract says "gratuity included"?  What about tipping vendors that own their own business, ie photographer owns her own business, cake lady bakes out of her house?  Also, our pastor from our home church is marrying us in a different church. I know he will not accept a tip but is it ok to make a donation in his name? Thanks!

IG.muse

I don't have any advice but I'm really confused about this too. I'd be really grateful if the married ladies on here wouldn't mind sharing who they tipped and who they didn't. I know the general idea is that you tip anyone who's outdone themselves, but when you feel that a vendor charges more than adequately to compensate for their time and talent and they own their own business, do you really need to tip them? And the gratuity included thing is weird too, do the servers get any of this gratuity?

hrparker

[url]http://www.findalink.net/tippingetiquette.php[/url]

If gratuity is included then, no, you don't tip - excepting the servers info below.

YES you tip vendors who own their own business.  I don't care what anyone else says - if your vendor goes above and beyond for you, tip them.  They deserve it.

In re: servers, it's best to check with your venue to see what percentage of the gratuity goes to the servers vs. what percentage stays with management.  If only a miniscule portion goes to the servers, then, yes, you need to set aside money to tip the servers at the wedding.

We tipped:

Photog
Videog
Wedding Planner
Florist
Ceremony musicians
DJ
Bartenders
MUA
Hairstylist

We did not tip:

Bakery
Printer
Calligrapher (though I did tip the calligrapher who did the work for my holiday cards - my wedding calligrapher's service was so terrible, I didn't feel that she deserved a tip)

IG.muse

hr, did you tip the photog right away or did you wait until you got your pics to decide whether they've indeed gone above and beyond? I hope I don't sound like I'm being disrespectful or cheap, but my photog already charges so much, I can't imagine how amazing those pics would have to be to justify a big tip. And I absolutely cannot afford to tip him 15% or even 5%.

decobelle

I am sorry to disagree, but I do not plan to tip anyone but the servers at the reception. I consider what the other vendors ask for payment to be adequate. By comparison, I do not tip other service type businesses such as dry cleaners and lawn care companies. I feel the same applies to the wedding industry. Since I don't have an ongoing relationship with say, my cake baker, I think their asking price is sufficient payment.

hrparker

Hey IG,

I tipped her the day of, as I did with all of our vendors.  Our photog is actually one of the higher price point photogs in the city, but she charges that much b/c she's worth it.  I didn't have any doubt that we would get great results from such a fantastically talented (and reputable) photographer.  Plus, we'd already used her for our epics, so we already knew what quality of work to expect from her in terms of pictures of us.

That being said, I think a lot of brides wait until after they receive their proofs, so if you decide to go that route, I don't think you'll be in the wrong.

Decobelle,

That's your prerogative, but I honestly don't think it's fair to compare your neighborhood dry cleaner with a photographer, or stylist/MUA, or any other artistically-inclined service professional.  Do you tip the person who normally cuts your hair, or does your nails?  I would use your behavior in those situations as a better gauge of whether you should tip your wedding professionals.  jmho. 

Fwiw, though, I would tip a lawn care professional or our neighborhood dry cleaner if they went above and beyond what I asked them for.  Maybe I'm just tip-happy, though, because I worked in service industries for so long (and still own my own service-industry company), so I know how appreciated tips are for service that goes above and beyond.

tb583

I agree with everything hr said, and we basically tipped the same people she said she tipped. 

HyperChicaPR

I am not married yet but I can't see tipping all of those people. I think we will give extra gratuity to the servers because I believe our caterer is not giving them very much. Other than that I have never even heard of tipping someone like your photographer and would not have thought of it before seeing this post.
However, like HR said, if you feel that they did so great for you that you want to give them something extra, by all means do it.
I think vendors charge what they know they can get. I don't see a reason to give them more. I booked them for their price so I couldn't imagine paying them more.
I will tip my hair/makeup people I think.

mschneid02

oh seriously?  i had not planned on tipping all of these people. Usually tipping is for people who keep their prices low or are artificially underpaid.  NOt sure that everyone on that list fits.

mschneid02

ok - here is the info from the site:

Many contracted services for weddings include tips in the final bill. Make sure you read your contract carefully so that you are not double tipping. As always, if you receive service above and beyond what you expected, extra tipping is recommended.

• Civil ceremony officials - $50 - $75, more if travel involved
• Wedding planner - Nothing.
• Minister, priest, rabbi - Minimum of $100, more if travel involved. Give the gratuity to the best man who will in turn give it to the officiant following the ceremony.
• Coat check - 50 cents per guest.
• Limo driver - 15% of the total fare. Make sure the tip is not included already in the bill.
• Florists - Only necessary when service is beyond expectations, up to 15%
• Photographers - Only necessary when service is beyond expectations, up to 15%
• Bakers - Only necessary when service is beyond expectations, up to 15%
• Reception Musicians or DJs - Only necessary when service is beyond expectations, up to 15% or $25-50 per person.
• Open bar at receptions - There are two views on this. Some say tip $1 for each visit to the bar. Other's contend that the tax and tip are included in the cost of the open bar, and that the guest should only tip if it is a cash bar. I lean toward the latter view, but it never hurts to be generous. If you are the host of the event, make sure it is not included. If it is not included, the tip is 15-20%.
• Catering hall wedding coordinator - $50 for the coordinator, and something less for the assistant ($25). Make sure it is not included in the price of the event.
• Banquet captain - $20-100.
• Wedding organist, musician or soloist - First check whether or not the gratuity is included in the rental of the church. If not, $50 per person or $75 per person for close friends.

hrparker

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-cincinnati_question-tipping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:108Discussion:1e81807f-bd68-4c69-8f17-2c39f54bbdb6Post:950bc2fa-6bd4-48b5-b34d-757f7fb78710">Re: QUestion on tipping</a>:
[QUOTE]oh seriously?  i had not planned on tipping all of these people. Usually tipping is for people who keep their prices low or are artificially underpaid.  NOt sure that everyone on that list fits.
Posted by mschneid02[/QUOTE]

???

Tipping isn't to make up for people who are artificially underpaid except in the cases of waitstaff.  For everyone else, tipping is a way to show that you received excellent service (though, by all means, if you feel someone is being underpaid, feel free to tip them more to make up for that).

IG.muse

I agree that tipping underpaid wait staff is important. And I agree that showing appreciation to those who aren't underpaid is good form. But it's absurd for me to give them a 15% tip when they are making 10-20 times more than I do per hour. I can show appreciation with a box of chocolates or a smaller check. But I feel like having to give the photographer more than $100 is exploitative of me.

hrparker

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-cincinnati_question-tipping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:108Discussion:1e81807f-bd68-4c69-8f17-2c39f54bbdb6Post:2c650380-e6bf-4bd6-94cb-e86c12249838">Re: QUestion on tipping</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree that tipping underpaid wait staff is important. And I agree that showing appreciation to those who aren't underpaid is good form. But it's absurd for me to give them a 15% tip when they are making 10-20 times more than I do per hour. I can show appreciation with a box of chocolates or a smaller check. But I feel like having to give the photographer more than $100 is exploitative of me.
Posted by IG.muse[/QUOTE]

I say this in the nicest way, IG, trust me.  Breathe!  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

You don't have to tip people like your photog and your videog 15-20% of the cost of your package.   The recommended amount is UP TO 15%.  Had we tipped 15% on the cost of our photog, that would have been almost $650.  We definitely didn't tip that - if I remember right, we tipped a little over a third of that, with the bulk going to our photog and the remainder going to her assistants.  We did similarly with our videographer.  For some of our other vendors, we actually tipped MORE than 15% because the rate they charged was SO low (they were just starting out) that we felt they deserved a regular tip for doing such a fantastic job, plus extra to make up for the fact that they'd charged us so little - I wouldn't have felt right otherwise.

Bottom line - just because you <strong>need</strong> (yes, I said need) to tip people who do a great job for you doesn't mean you have to break the bank doing it - tip what you can afford, and if you can afford very little (though, please, brides just starting to plan, go ahead and put the tips in your budget at the BEGINNING of your planning so you'll know you have space for them), tip what you can and then write them a wonderful thank-you that they can use in their business.

mschneid02

ok - now i see what you mean.  I agree that if they go above and beyond, i will give a tip.  I am a BIG fan of tipping 20%+ for wait staff and even writing letters to doctors etc who have done a good job. I guess I was initially thinking you meant 15-20% for everyone.  But, I will also try to reward those excellent vendors in other ways - word of mouth, repeat business, etc.  I want to reward everyone if they do a great job the best that I can, but between no pay raises for me and trying to stay in budget, I may have to try to reward them in other ways (i.e., glowing posts on the knot, which I would venture to say would lead to other good business.)

jenn1981

We tipped

Wedding Planner
Limo Driver
3 Employees from the catering staff- gratuity was NOT included in our price
MUA
Hairstylist

All were tipped on the day of the wedding.

Our chuch did not charge for the officiant, but we "tipped" her, I guess you could say.