Invitation Wording Help?

hunleywedding

I have started putting together our wording for the invite and reception card.  Anyone mind reviewing and offering your thoughts?  FYI - it is for a somewhat casual wedding.  To save money on postage for the RSVP cards, we are having people RSVP to our website.  Your help is much appreciated!

Invitation Wording

Together with their parents

Mary Hunley

and

David Tettenhorst

invite you to share in their marriage celebration

Saturday, October 2, 2010

at 5:30 pm in the evening

 

Heritage Village

Sharon Woods Park

11450 Lebanon Pike

Sharonville, OH 45241

   Reception Insert 

Dinner reception

at 7:00 pm in the evening

 

Mill Race Banquet Center

Winton Woods

1515 West Sharon Road

Cincinnati, OH 45240

 

Please RSVP at

www.theknot.com/ourwedding/MaryHunley&DavidTettenhorst">www.theknot.com/ourwedding/MaryHunley&DavidTettenhorst

or by calling (859)806-8221

hunleywedding

Oops, it didn't post right - here you go:

Invitation Wording

Together with their parents

Mary Hunley

and

David Tettenhorst

invite you to share in their marriage celebration

Saturday, October 2, 2010

at 5:30 pm in the evening

 

Heritage Village

Sharon Woods Park

11450 Lebanon Pike

Sharonville, OH 45241

   Reception Insert 

Dinner reception

at 7:00 pm in the evening

 

Mill Race Banquet Center

Winton Woods

1515 West Sharon Road

Cincinnati, OH 45240

 

Please RSVP at

www.theknot.com/ourwedding/MaryHunley&DavidTettenhorst">www.theknot.com/ourwedding/MaryHunley&DavidTettenhorst

or by calling (859)806-8221

HyperChicaPR

I think it looks great. Looks very similar to what we used. I don't see anything that I would change

Audge.Podge

Saying "5:30 pm in the evening" is redundant.  Either say "5:30 p.m." or "5:30 in the evening"  Same with the reception insert. 

Also, if I got an invitation inviting me to "share in their marriage celebration," I might think that we are not being invited to the actual ceremony, just the reception.  Maybe I'm a little too literal, but I have received invitations where the couple had a very small ceremony earlier in the day or at an earlier date, and we were only invited to the reception, and that is how the invite was worded. 

mschneid02

You don't want to list your parents' names ?  i thought it was nice.

michaelandjulie2

I agree with pp about the pm/evening, and also, I dont know if you are making them yourself or having them printed (or if that matters) but ours looked better when we put our names first, then together with their parents, then the rest similar to yours. Maybe "invite you to share in the joy of their marriage" would seem less like a reception-only invite?

dwest2201

Perhaps pne or both of their parents are divorced and remarried and they don't want to list a whole bunch of other people's names on their wedding invites.  Or they are footing the bill for the wedding and don't feel obligated to list their parents names bc of that.   I think the invites sound nice as is, but I like the "share in the joy" also.

hunleywedding

Thanks for all the thoughts you have provided!  Yes, we thought it was a little odd to list our parents names for a couple of reasons - we are footing the bill ourselves and both of us are in our early 30s. A few changes I think I will make:

Put our names first and THEN put together with their parents.
Get rid of the PM in the times listed - I agree seems redundant (was just going off of some samples I ran across)
I also like 'celebrate in the joy of their marriage' instead of what I have down

Thanks again for the help!

hunleywedding

Ok, so I think I am overthinking this - but is the punctuation correct with this?  Should I have the commas?  Should I include a period somewhere?  As you can tell I tend to overanalyze everything!

Mary Hunley

and

David Tettenhorst,

together with their parents,

invite you to celebrate in the joy of their marriage

Saturday, October 2, 2010

at 5:30 in the evening

 

Heritage Village

Sharon Woods Park

11450 Lebanon Pike

Sharonville, OH 45241