Long Distance

Hey Ladies!

I am usually just a lurker on the boards, but thought I’d start a thread and see if anyone else is in a similar situation.  

My FI and I were engaged in June 2010, and literally two weeks after our engagement he left the country and won’t be back until August… of 2012.  He’s doing great work in a developing country and his plans for the work were made well in advance of our relationship becoming serious.  And while there are times that I miss him so much, I support him and what he’s doing.  The biggest challenges are the inconsistent communication (due to the nature of his work we sometimes we have to go weeks without phone calls/emails/skype) and the wedding planning.  We’re planning for the wedding to take place in October 2012 and want it to be in Cincinnati.  I’m currently living in St. Louis, but grew up and my family is in Cincinnati, FI’s entire family is abroad, so for us it makes sense to have the wedding in Cincinnati. 

Is anyone else in a long-distance relationship?  Or trying to plan a wedding in Cincinnati from afar?   

Re: Long Distance

  • edited December 2011
    Hey! You're not alone!! 
    I don't exactly have the same situation, but my FI lives in Chicago and I'm here in Cincy.  The only thing is that he is in medical school and does nothing but study all day and all night which is not conducive to wedding planning.  We have been living apart for almost a year, but I'm moving to Chicago in about 2 months!  It's hard planning a wedding by yourself, but it is totally possible.  If you have any questions just post them on the Cincy forum, the girls are wonderful here.  I guess the only piece of advice I have for planning a wedding solo is to remember that just pick things you like even if you aren't able to ask your FI.  He will love anything you love just because he loves YOU!  If you need anything don't hesitate to ask!  Happy wedding planning!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    You're definitely not alone.  My FI and I live 200 miles apart.  We dated and are planning our wedding long distance.  We're trying to get to the same city now.

    It's definitely not easy.  We talk every day and e-mail a lot too.
    It has really been a challenge to plan the wedding and register being so far apart.  I want his input so it feels like our day, rather than my day to shine.

    When I can't get his input, I just move forward and make the best decision I can.  There isn't anything that can't be changed if he really doesn't like some of my choices.  In general he wants me to pick what makes me happy.  It's not easy, but you can definitely do it.  Moms are great to jump in and help when he can't join me on cake testing, initial visits to vendors, etc.  Best of luck to you. 
  • HursjlHursjl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I also live in St. Louis and am having my wedding in Cincinnati.  I'm very grateful to my mom who has done a lot for me in the planning process.  I've had an 18 month engagement which has also made planning from St. Louis a little easier.  It definitely can be done!
  • edited December 2011
    Nope you're not alone! FI was traveling in southeast Asia for 6 months while I had to stay here as I'm in grad school. He made these travel plans long before we had even started dating so there was no way I could have told him to not go. Like your situation, communication was difficult as internet connections were often spotty and Skype calls were at sometimes rare. But he's back here and living with me now and life is good!

    I can also commisserate with the long distance wedding planning, too...we live in Pittsburgh but are getting married in Dayton. It really sucks, but we're trying to make the best of it. We have marathon wedding planning weekends where we go back to Dayton and cram in as many vendor meetings as possible.

    There are many girls here with lots of helpful advice, so if you ever have any questions, or just want to vent about being long distance, we're here to help!
    Married! :) 5/19/12 The Domesticals

  • bmfleurbmfleur member
    edited December 2011
    I too am in this long distance boat. I met my fiance in London, where I lived for three years. He is still there and because of complicated visa issues will only be able to visit once before our Sept. 2012 wedding. Actually he is coming a week from today!! We will try to some wedding stuff, but most of our planning is via phone call conversations and email. DanceM, I know how you feel about the "my wedding thing." It's difficult to plan apart and I want things to be a decision we make together. Good luck ladies. At least we know we're not alone.
  • TKB12TKB12 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm currently living in germany, my FI is living in texas. We're planning a wedding in cincinnati. It can be really frustrating at times. I know the wait is worth while, but i really cant wait till we can be together!!
  • edited December 2011

    Thanks for the advice and support!  The long distance thing is hard, and I think it’s one of those things that people can sympathize with, but if you’ve actually been through it, you really know how it feels. 

    @tedfordk- Good luck on your move to Chicago!  And you are so right about him loving whatever I love!  Wise words :)


    @dancem- The part about FI wanting you to pick things that make you happy is true in my situation too.  I usually sweat over the details but am slowly realizing that if the decision makes me happy, it will make FI happy too. 

    @Hursjl- A STL buddy : )  I’ve met two other people in St. Louis getting married in Cincinnati.  St. Louis is growing on me, but I do miss Cincinnati!


    @mookow86- Gorgeous siggy pic btw!! 

    @bmfleur-one visit until the wedding in 2012?!  I’m in a similar boat myself and I feel for you!  We’re planning a visit for me to where FI is this September.  Enjoy your visit with your FI and take lots of pictures!


    @tkb12- Wow, I’m sure trying to plan from Germany is super tough!  You are so right though, it will all be worth it in the end.  That’s my little mantra right now.  


    All of you are right about the girls on the Cincy board being nice!  I’ve noticed on some of the other topic boards the girls can be catty, mean and belittling and I have never seen this on our board here.


    Have a good weekend!

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