just a little advice :)

mroberts2012

hey girls - i've really enjoyed these boards and they were such a help when i got married last month. i'm trying to stay on them to help other brides now that i've actually used the vendors,etc. my sister is getting married in march and has had a few major meltdown the last few weeks (like i did!) so i just wanted to be a voice of reason while you're stressing out, cause i know you are!

go easy on your vendors. as long as they're being friendly and attentive, go easy on them. i almost flipped out on my photographer (who had been GREAT!) for not sending me something when she had actually sent it to my parents' address like i forgot asking her to. sometimes we get crazy and immediately want to yell at someone else. you aren't flawless. just admit you messed up and go on.

remember that people are paying to be a part of your wedding. they said yes when you asked them so it's fair to expect cooperation, etc out of them. but from being IN several weddings, i've paid a whole lot to get yelled at by a bride. don't expect the world from them. 

be firm in what you want when your parent's are involved. you'll compromise on a few things but when your heart is set on something, don't let your mom's preference win. it's your day. and you'll be sad about it if you don't have what you want when it comes to the important things.

delegate. don't be a control freak about everything. you'll end up hating everyone. and believe me, they'll end up hating you.

weddings come with a level of stress. not going to tell you not to stress. but don't stress about things you'll never remember. even though they seem important. no one will remember what you ate. they won't remember what music played at the reception. you'll have your pictures. and you'll have your dress. and you'll have each other. everything else? relax.

just dealing with my sis and knowing what i got crazy about, i wanted to share that with you. ENJOY this! it's really fun. if you let it be.

GoBucksOH

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-cincinnati_just-little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:108Discussion:dee2aa8a-af70-441c-a7a9-86875bfda1b1Post:b8a5ef55-d8b3-41ea-83f6-872be23248fa">just a little advice :)</a>:
[QUOTE]hey girls - i've really enjoyed these boards and they were such a help when i got married last month. i'm trying to stay on them to help other brides now that i've actually used the vendors,etc. my sister is getting married in march and has had a few major meltdown the last few weeks ;) (like i did!) so i just wanted to be a voice of reason while you're stressing out, cause i know you are! go easy on your vendors. as long as they're being friendly and attentive, go easy on them. i almost flipped out on my photographer (who had been GREAT!) for not sending me something when she had actually sent it to my parents' address like i forgot asking her to. sometimes we get crazy and immediately want to yell at someone else. you aren't flawless. just admit you messed up and go on. remember that people are paying to be a part of your wedding. they said yes when you asked them so it's fair to expect cooperation, etc out of them. but from being IN several weddings, i've paid a whole lot to get yelled at by a bride. don't expect the world from them.  <strong>be firm in what you want when your parent's are involved. you'll compromise on a few things but when your heart is set on something, don't let your mom's preference win. <font color="#ff0000">it's your day</font>. and you'll be sad about it if you don't have what you want when it comes to the important things. <font color="#ff0000">delegate.</font> don't be a control freak about everything. you'll end up hating everyone. and believe me, they'll end up hating you.</strong> :) weddings come with a level of stress. not going to tell you not to stress. :) but don't stress about things you'll never remember. even though they seem important. no one will remember what you ate. they won't remember what music played at the reception. you'll have your pictures. and you'll have your dress. and you'll have each other. everything else? relax. just dealing with my sis and knowing what i got crazy about, i wanted to share that with you. :) ENJOY this! it's really fun. if you let it be. :)
Posted by mroberts2012[/QUOTE]

I agree with MOST of what you are saying......

The mentality of "its your day" drives me nuts. Yes, it is your wedding day, however, it is just ONE day and you arent going to start your marriage out on the right foot by throwing your weight around and telling people its YOUR day. So its best to just not think that way.

If your parents are paying, then they have final say. I agree you should most definitely let your vision be known, but keep in mind their checkbook = their say.

The delegate comment also rubs me the wrong way. Its YOUR wedding, so you cannot expect anyone other than you to plan it. If people offer help, then its most certainly OK to accept the help. But the word "delegate" makes it seem like you are the boss assigning duties to everyone around you.

mroberts2012

delegate was meant to be helpful not bossy. hence why i noted that the girls you have in your wedding are paying  a lot to do so and that if you don't delegate and control everything, that you'll run into people thinking your a bridezilla.

and with the parents, i'm saying to compromise. but for example, my mother had her heart set on a certain dress. i would have been miserable. and while she paid for it, i think if i had worn a dress (one of the important things) i didn't like, i'd be sad.

and it is your day. we can all pretend like it's not but we wouldn't be posting here trying to make it perfect if we didn't think it was.

it was all meant to be helpful.  

Jenn2514

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