Small Ceremony, Large Reception

sheryltrudy

I live in SLC.  I plan to have my ceremony at an outdoor amphitheater 1.5 hours away near Hanna, UT, and my reception will be held a few hours later in Park City.  I will have around 400-500 reception guests, so I was planning on only inviting about 100-150 of those guests to the ceremony (just our closest friends and family).  The amphitheater only accommodates about 100-150 people, and I assumed that less-than-close friends and family wouldn't mind missing out on the 1.5 hour drive.  However, some people on an etiquette message board expressed that they thought it extremely rude and hurtful to only invite "A-list" guests to the ceremony.   They suggested that I hold my ceremony at a venue big enough for everyone to attend.  I never thought of it that way, and most of the people I know have had small ceremonies and large receptions.  Maybe it will help to get some local perspective??  What do you all think?  

flipwatt

Personally... Its your day do what you want if you are set at having it at the place then have it at that place. The other people that are invited to the reception should just be glad that they are invited at all. Personally i wouldnt be upset if someone invited me to just the reception as the ceremony usually dosnt last very lon anyways and it is such a long drive.

Good luck with what ever you choose to do

britneyalyse

I am all for only inviting certain people to the ceremony, in all reality, do all of your acquaintances want to sit through the ceremony?  I think it's typically for your family and very close friends.  I don't think you're being rude at all!

mikellshea

This is what I am doing. I think it is pretty normal here in Utah. I have a HUGE family,there is no way I am having that many people at the ceremony. Who ever made that comment I am sure is not from here, outside of Utah that may be odd to do but here it is completely normal!

KatyRoseM

It is very rude to do this.  In Utah people get away with it because of temple weddings so its more common, but that doesn't stop it from being rude if your not in a situation where for religious reasons you can't have them there. 

Carlydl

I'm doing something similar.  We're doing about four different events throughout our wedding day (to accomodate both LDS traditions and non-LDS family members) and to some of them, I'm only inviting the people that I know love me enough to schlepp around the Valley for me all day long, haha.  In all seriousness, yes, this is a lot more common in Utah than in other regions, so you can do it without people being offended or thinking it's outside of the norm.  Let's be honest, with the amount of weddings that everyone in Utah has to attend every year, I'm sure people who aren't as close to you will be relieved that the don't have to dedicate an entire day to celebrating your marriage.  They will be happy to attend your reception to wish you well and probably rush off to another reception during the busy wedding season!  Don't let yourself stress out too much about it.