Showers.. traditions

i2012do

Hi all!
I have been noticing that the weddings that I am typically getting invited to in UT are WAY different than teh weddings around here. No one really sent out save the dates, and we didn'tget the invitiations until close till' the wedding. I haven't been invited to any showers.

Are showers not really done in utah? Is is customary? Mormon or not..
Just wondering, beucause my FMIL has not yet offered to throw me a shower and neither has FI's aunts or anything..

raspberrytart

Yeah, Utah is strange.  

I would say that the average Utah engagement is about 3 or 4 months, which is really short in comparison to everywhere else!  I think this is one reason why people don't to save-the-dates--by the time you send them out, it's time to send out the invites!  (I also think that cost is a factor, because Utahns are nortoriously cheap.)  I did save-the-dates, but I've never seen them done by anyone else that I know in Utah.

Showers are done in Utah, and they are done a lot.  I'm not sure how far away your wedding is, but people will most likely wait until you are close to your date.  Also, feel free to drop some hints (i.e. "I'd really like a shower.  I know you guys are busy, so can I help you get it organized?  I would just love to get together with my friends and family.")

The weddings and receptions are also typically very different here, so feel free to ask questions if you need more info!

Carlydl

Yes, showers are a huge deal here in Utah.  I already have 3 separate ones I've been informed of, haha!  I agree with raspberry, they will often wait until it is a month or two before your wedding date.  If you're not getting married until August of next year, plan on hearing about showers next summer-ish.

i2012do

Ya def I wouldn't expect one until next may or so... But I do live 2000 miles away so I'd need to book a flight. Out here most restaurants and places that host showers typically book up about 6. Months out... So it's best to reserve early. I was just thinking shed mention to my mom about it or something in passing,.. So they can work out the dates etc. The short engagement explains the save the dates,! That makes sense. Since I'm also planning a small reception out there ... Does that mean I don't have to worry about rushing to book a site? I appreciate all the help so much.... I def want to accommodate our guests but don't want to insult them either... It's tough!

raspberrytart

Bridal showers in public venues are pretty rare, in my opinion.  I've seen them occassionally, but I've never been to one.  Usually the shower is held in at someone's house or church (or if it's for a coworker, at work).  That said, however, it doesn't mean you can't have a shower at a restaurant if you'd like, particularly if you're inviting quite a few people.

You probably could wait until next January/February to book a place for the shower and still be fine, but if you already know what you want, then there's really no point in waiting!  The same thing goes for a reception.  My cousin is getting married in August and they are just starting to look at places--only a couple of the venues have been booked on their date thus far.

Carlydl

The benefit for us girls with longer engagements in Utah is that we are more likely (almost guaranteed) to get the venues that we want because most other Utah girls only have 2-4 month engagements.  Also, lots of LDS brides have their receptions in church cultural halls because it's free.  But I agree with raspberry, if you already know what venue you want, go ahead and book.  We booked ours a week before I had the ring on my finger because we loved it!  You won't have to rush, but if you get a chance to come out to Utah and look, then you find one, go ahead and reserve it!

i2012do

thats for the advice
we will likely we will be out there before the holidays and will look at some places then and book.

As for the shower- I assume his mom would do it at his grandmothers or something, they dont have a ton of extra money.

it's def. good to be on this board and find out about this, most showers here are held at restaurants or country clubs-- and rarely in people's homes.

aklr915

I'm a utah, LDS bride and I've already had one of 3 showers... Everyone I know has had one. Usually your friends will offer to throw one for you... Never heard of a MIL doing that but then maybe that's just mine?

alli

i2012do

Thanks
On the East coast typically your bridesmaids and aunts throw one for your side of the family- and the other side if they live close. and If you do't live close (like me) usually the mother in law throws one with her family.