Utah

"only in utah"

jcorvesejcorvese member
First Anniversary First Comment
Hi girls,
 I am usually not  a poster to the utah board. I am getting married in Newport, RI.
 However, my fiance is from Utah (salt lake area).

We are having our ceremony and reception here in Rhode island. but a lot of his family is traveling here for the reception.
So I was hoping you could help.

At our rehearsel dinner- and even the wedding, I wanted to have some "Traditional"utah things that might be done or that you might have there.

We are thinking of having a big bar--b-que for our rehearsel outside at a beach house - so i am going to order fry sauce

but then i got stuck (other than his mom suggesting green jello- which will does not make the cut!)

Anything you can think of would be helpful!

also, some of his family is practicing LDS- and he said they might feel uncomfortable with an open bar "in" the same room where we sit to eat, and maybe we should request to have it moved out into the entry or foyer-- however this is extremelty expensive- -is this necessary?! I am more than willing to accomodate to make everyone feel welcome- but not sure if it matters.

Re: "only in utah"

  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Fri sause is good, if you have bread and honey you could get Utah honey.  I've lived here most of my life and honestly can't tell you more.  For foods you could watch Man v. Food SLC tonight....

    Also, they may not drink coffee, but having these things in another room is very nice of you.  I'm not LDS so I don't know how important it would be.  I've never heard of people being insulted by having an open bar unless they are being asked to host it.  That isn't a Utah thing though, thats his family, ask him.  Hope it helps.
    image
  • edited December 2011

    It's your day.....I just had the LDS and open bar issue with my hubby too. The bottom line is that you should do what you want, and not what makes other people comfortable. Just because some family members are LDS does not mean that they do not know that you and your fiance drink. If they are not comfortable being in the same room as alcohol, that is not your problem. I highly doubt it would cause any issues. LDS members are supposed to be accepting of all people and things regardless of whether or not they agree with the practice.

  • jcorvesejcorvese member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks sniggyb you are the first person yet who has said "do what you want to do"
    my parnets, his parents, his family, everyone is chiming in.

    I think i am going to tell him that if the 15 people feel uncomfortable we will sit them at the other side of the room, etc. so they dont feel lik epople are walking by them with drinks.

    any other ideas besides the fry sauce?
    his mom suggested the honey- -is thatlike a utah thing, because there is tons of honey and maple syrup around here- esp that comes from newhamshipre.

    It doenst necessarily need to be food. RI has a lot of cute quirky things because we are a small state and i think that people use that to do like funny" only in RI things" we have coffee syrup, and the "big blue bug (google it)" and stuf flike that.
  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If your having a bbq you could put out pastrami, in Utah they put it on hamburgers.  I also think your right about the alcohol, it shouldn't be a big deal to have some, they should get over it. 

    For non food things, you could put up pictures of the nature in Utah, its amazing. 

    One thing to remember, be respectful of Utah, people like to pick on the state and the LDS and its not fun when its the family your son is joining.  I'm not saying don't serve alcohol, just don't pick on them for being from Utah or not drinking. 
    image
  • edited December 2011

    I'm LDS, I grew up in Utah, and personally I don't think serving alcohol would be a problem. I know it wouldn't bother me, as long as you don't insist I drink. I have lots of friends who drink and have been to parties and bars with alcohol, I just choose to refrain. It's a personal decision and not one I would pressure others to follow. 

    As far as other things...
    I've never heard the pastrami on hamburgers thing, but to each his own.
    Fry sauce is HUGE, probably used more than ketchup or mayo alone.
    Funeral potatoes are big here...but maybe not refined enough for a reception.

    Jello in general is big. Not just green jello, any jello. Especially jello salad (cottage cheese mixed with jello flavoring and random fruit like grapes, apples, and bananas). Or jello made with fruit inside, especially berries. Again, probably not refined enough for a wedding. I've always found Jello to be a wierd non-food-type substance like Spam - born of the war-era where rationing defines your menu. Who eats food derived from animal hooves anyway?

    Because most LDS ceremonies are held in the temple, a reception is often held directly after and perhaps an open house in another location a week or two later. The typical LDS reception has a receiving line of the whole wedding party to greet guests as they arrive, but many LDS brides are moving away from this tradition (myself included for my December wedding).

    Modesty is a big deal, as you've probably noticed in your fiance's family. Like the alcohol, nothing anyone would pressure on you, but your soon-to-be relatives will likely wear at least knee-length skirts, sleeved blouses/dresses, and no low-cut shirts or cleavage.

    Also, contrary to popular rumor, we ARE allowed to dance. In fact, dancing is a pretty big part of our culture, establishing Utah as one of the biggest dancing states in the nation. We have competitive ballroom teams and frequent recruiting from TV shows, etc. (So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing With the Stars included). So encourage your new family to dance, what better way to celebrate and enjoy a reception?

    Other than those things, I really can't think of anything. Nature is big here, but how could it not be when you live under the shadow of these?
    http://www.bon-voyage.co.uk/img/uploads/958_fit588x588.jpg
    And when an amazing camping spot is a 10-minute drive up the canyon from your house?
    http://www.bestbits.org/parkcitypix/i/22%20Entering%20Provo%20Canyon%20in%20Utah.JPG

  • jcorvesejcorvese member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks for the help.
     

    Acutally, you made a good point abotu the modesty-- that made me reconsider a few things.

    One of my favorite possible venues is outside on a dock by the ocean-- and we are planning an august wedding. It might not be the most comfortable weather to have members wearing a longer sleeved or longer dress and be outside under a tent with no AC. (My chapel is also not air conditiioned)


    Likely. we are going to have a large cookout for the rehearsel dinner-- so I am going to import some fry sauce to have these.
    I guess I live ina  quirky state with a million "only in Rhode Island" things found here. In fact there is an entire website www.onlyinrhodeisland.com

    We will be serving Dels lemonade- a local favorite treat too-- so the fry sauce will mean we each have a unique thing to add.
  • edited December 2011
    I don't think it is necessary to move the alcohol out of the room. My side of the family is LDS but I am not a member myself. My FI family is catholic and drinking is just in their nature. I went through some struggles as far as alcohol goes with my family but in the end it was my decision and I decided that the people who don't drink should understand that this is your time and they are not being forced to drink what is there. I am guessing no one is going to get terribly drunk at a BBQ so they shouldn't feel too uncomfortable.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • jcorvesejcorvese member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I hope not.
    Im just worried about my friends, like those from college- and the dancing and the drinking. I dont want some wildly drunk person at the reception to be going up to the LDS complettly sober person

    although, im someone is wildly drunk at my reception, ill be pissed-- so thats a whole nother factor....

    I think the next time I talk to my fiance i am going to say what you ladies have been saying" its our day, its about our beliefs, and our lifestyle. people can,pick and chose what they want to participate in and what they dont"
  • edited December 2011
    You go girl! :) Good Luck on those struggles, I can totally relate.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Having been raised LDS I can tell you that Mormons do have a tendency to be stuffy and easily offended by alcohol for some reason.  The mentality that was instilled in me from a young age is that you either don't drink or you are an alcoholic.  That being said, here's my thought.  You can't walk on eggshells and worry about offending people.  It is YOUR wedding and if they are offended by something as stupid as a bar being in the same room as them then sorry, but they need to get a grip. 
  • edited December 2011
    We're a non-LDS couple who lives and who got married in Utah.  I think it is really considerate of you to try to take your fiance's family's traditions into consideration, but ultimately I completely agree with others that it is your day!

    Venues in Utah automatically offer non-alcoholic options.  So for instance they served champagne as well as sparkling cider when it came time to toast.  So maybe you could have champagne flutes with something non-alcoholic passed around for your fiance's family to toast with.

    As for non-food ideas... We used Utah National Parks instead of table numbers.  It worked well for us...

    Good luck!
  • jcorvesejcorvese member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    actually, funny you posted about the national parks
    in my sleep it came to me...
    on the tables for people from utah  i am going to have a name of a place, or funny tidbit about RI witha picture etc

    and on the tables for people from rI (many more of those tables) i am going to do the same thing, but utah, and feautre pics of the national forest etc.

    so if anyone has some interesting"bits of info" please share
  • edited December 2011
    Sounds like a really cute idea!

    Good luck with the planning!
  • edited December 2011
    I'm LDS, and I wouldn't be offended by having the open bar in the same room. I wouldn't worry about that, if I were you. I would have some non-alcoholic options like someone else suggested though - sparkling cider or something!

    I haven't heard of pastrami on burgers either. But fry sauce is a great idea.

    I love the table naming idea!
  • sheryltrudysheryltrudy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree that having alcohol in the same room is not a big deal, but maybe having sparkling cider available as well as champagne for the toasts would be considerate.  If you are going to have any specialty cocktails available, you might also consider including some non-alcoholic versions, like virgin margaritas or something.  Also, strategically placing your relatives farther away from the bar and your younger friends closer to the bar might be a good idea, regardless of who is LDS and who is not.  

    As for "Only in Utah" things, honey is sort of a Utah thing because Utah is the Beehive State.  So honey, bees, and beehives are all Utah themes.  Frysauce is definitely also a Utah thing, and I like the National Parks idea.  You could also order a copy of Salt Lake Magazine.  It's a quirky magazine that has great dining guides and local stories, but it also frequently talks about Utah traditions.  saltlakemagazine.com  

    Good luck!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • HeidigeHeidige member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi!  I'm from Utah, and I was raised LDS (not practicing anymore).  I'm getting married, and also have the complication of 1/2 LDS and 1/2 something else;)
    LOVE the parks idea, think it's totally awesome!
    Frysauce is big in Utah, but it's just mayo and ketchup mixed together.  Some may have their variations, but those are the main ingredients!  It would be funny, but so would nut cups, sheet cake, and slushies...which are staples at mormon weddings!  So if you want funny go for it! 
    I was really worried about the drinking mixed with the mormons, but then I just gave up...it's not worth the stress.  People (mormons or not) will judge no matter what- so do what feels like you and don't worry about it!
    Good luck in planning.
  • edited December 2011
    For more information about alcohol/non-alcohol ideas for LDS weddings and food ideas for your reception, go to http://www.weddinglds.com/lds-wedding-toasts
    and
    http://www.weddinglds.info/lds-reception-catering

    Hope this helps!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards