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April 2012 Weddings

Etiquette Question

A friend of mine just sent me a message on Facebook asking when my wedding is and whether she is invited.  I knew her in college, and stood in her wedding, which was even smaller (50 people) than mine will be (75 people), but she moved and I moved and over the last ten years we haven't kept in touch except for a few e-mails and the random "like" or brief comment on each other's Facebook posts.  Because we haven't really spoken in so long, it hadn't even crossed my mind to invite her.

My fiance who is anti-Facebook might use this an example of the "dark side" of Facebook but I feel like it should be fine to make a comment about something wedding-related once in a while without everyone I'm "friends" with on Facebook expecting to be invited, especially when there hasn't been any contact outside out of Facebook in a long time, and even the contact over Facebook hasn't been much.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it.  But how do you think I should respond to her? I think she was somewhat pushy and put me in an awkward spot. and I would be fine saying it's going to be small with just family and wedding party, but I don't know whether she would take offense that I was in her wedding party but didn't ask her to stand in my wedding. Should I say something like, "Hey, it's not until April so we haven't finalized plans yet but it's going to be very small, I'm sure you'll understand. Hope all's well with you, let me know how it's going!"

Thanks in advance!
Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
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