Honeymoon Registry

ChristinaJoey2012

We are really intrested in doing a honeymoon registry.  We live together and have everything that we need, and everything that we can fit into our small apartment.  Since we are paying for most of our wedding ourselves, we probally wont have much left for our honeymoon, and we would love to have a good time.  I have seen some websites, but I would like to know which ones are the best, or if there is a better way to go about this.  Thanks!

HobokensFury

People around here really dislike honeymoon registeries.  They are really a scam.  Just say you resister for a $100 excursion. Someone then buys it. They take 7% and send you a check for $93.  Nothing was actually bought.

MNVegas

I would not do a HM registry. They are considered a direct request for cash which people find offensive. They are also deceitful because your guests think they are buying you an actual gift but in fact you are getting a check from the registry, minus fees they charge.

You could set up a small traditional registry for people who want to give boxed gifts. Other guests will get the hint that cash is appreciated and will write a check or put cash in a card. You don't need some gimmicky website collect cash gifts. If someone asks you directly what you need/want, just say we are registered at store x but also saving for a honeymoon. 

It's a good idea to plan a honeymoon you can afford or delay until you can afford what you want. You should not depend on other people to pay for your HM.

ChristinaJoey2012

We already are having a honeymoon, so we don't expect people to pay for it at all.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:3fa77c2f-baa0-41cf-8e4c-6f238e4ff827Post:02a05526-e836-4ea9-8e92-6cfee4349cf6">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]We already are having a honeymoon, so we don't expect people to pay for it at all.
Posted by ChristinaJoey2012[/QUOTE]

But you are, if you set up a HM registry.

A HM is a vacation and you wouldn't expect your family or friends to pay for fun things to do on any other vacation so I don't see why people think it is ok to do this for their HM.

Either don't register, or make a very small registry of things that can always be replaced like towels and sheets etc.  By doing this your guests will get that what you would prefer as a gift is cash and then you can take what you receive at your wedding with you to your HM...meaning you get the full 100% of the money gifted and not some portion after fees and other things are taken out of it.

aimers1525

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:3fa77c2f-baa0-41cf-8e4c-6f238e4ff827Post:e4a6e1b6-bd03-4976-a684-045ed898e3e9">Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]We are really intrested in doing a honeymoon registry.  We live together and have everything that we need, and everything that we can fit into our small apartment.  <strong>Since we are paying for most of our wedding ourselves, we probally wont have much left for our honeymoon, and we would love to have a good time. </strong> I have seen some websites, but I would like to know which ones are the best, or if there is a better way to go about this.  Thanks!
Posted by ChristinaJoey2012[/QUOTE]
I'm not sure how this doesn't imply you want others to contribute to your HM?

ChristinaJoey2012

I'm sorry for the confusion, what I meant is we probally wont have alot of money for activities on our honeymoon (I was babysitting, a little scattered thought there). I thought it would be a cool gift for people to help with fun activites and help us make memories instead of things  we don't really need.  We had a hard time trying to register for gifts, since it felt like we were registering just to do it.  But our stay for the honeymoon is already paid for.   I just learned about a honeymoon registry yesterday, so it's a new term/idea for me.

ChristinaJoey2012

Oh and we're having a destination wedding as well, I'm not sure if that matters in this either.

fallbride1109

I did a HM registry--I had already set it up and publicized it before I came on TK and knew how people felt about it. 

We paid for our HM up front THEN set up for the registry for activities, dinners, excursions, etc. ONLY. 

I also did a small traditional registry which I highly recommend if someone offers to give you a shower--no one wants to sit at a shower watching you open cards.  Plus, there are always some people that will prefer to give a traditional gift.  Everything was bought off my traditional registry.  The Registry board has great ideas if you can't think of anything.

I used Traveler's Joy and my registry was set up really cute and it was well received.  However, I will add that both my DH and I were older (him 35, me 40) and both owned our own homes and thus were merging two complete households.  We could have paid for every penny of our HM--but with so much stuff already, we thought it would be a fun way for people to buy us gifts we would really love.  I referenced every gift given in our TY cards, made a website showing our trip, and if for some reason we were not able to use the gift (i.e. surf lessons but the surf was too rough during our stay), I told the guest what we did with the money instead (this only happened in 2 cases).

ALL THIS being said, I don't know that I would do it again.  The fees have increased since my wedding.  If you do a small traditional registry, most people will figure you want cash anyway.  At the very least, mention the idea to your family and friends to see what kind of response you get.  You will know better than us how it will be received.

Kristin789

You *could* do this but very few people participate in this.

Wedding guests expect to give wonderful, long-lasting gifts that mirror their hope for your marriage to be wonderful and long-lasting. Like china, bedding, and other nest-building stuff. When you see these gifts in your home, you will be reminded of the giver, and you will be reminded that you have a whole connected web of marriage mentors to whom you can turn for advice, counsel, new ideas or help when things go from better to worse.

A short-term donation to your honeymoon sexfest does not match what wedding gifts are supposed to represent.

cwaggoner07

FI really really really wanted to do a HM registry. After talking to his and my families, they thought it was a GREAT idea. I was funny about it the entire time, because I know it can be tacky.
FI and I have NEVER taken a vacation together, since we were long distance from Los Angeles to Dallas for most of our relationship, and we spent plenty of money just flying back and forth.
FI sat down and explained that it was really important to him for us to have a nice honeymoon, and this was something he really wanted. He was so nice about it, and the wedding isn't all about me, it's about what he wanted as well.
So, similar to Stephie, we have set up a Honeyfund for activities and dinners, while we have already taken care of the flight and hotel.

amymaysa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:3fa77c2f-baa0-41cf-8e4c-6f238e4ff827Post:5d8ec850-10c8-4517-b335-e44670249cb2">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh and we're having a destination wedding as well, I'm not sure if that matters in this either.
Posted by ChristinaJoey2012[/QUOTE]

are you going on a second trip after your destination wedding?
I personally would never comtribute to a honeymoon regsitry. I just don't think I need to help pay for someone else's vacation.

hz80408

Nowaday it's pretty common for couples to pay for their own weddings and be living together prior to their marriage, so it's not like it's a unique boat.

If you're already having a destination wedding anyways, I think it's even more rude to do a HM registry as your guests will likely be shelling out some $$ to come to your wedding.

I'd suggest creating a small registry, even if it's items you already have, but you just want to upgrade (bedding, pots/pans, dishes, towels, etc).  Then you're at least giving guests the option of a physical gift or cash.  Then you can use that cash as you please.

Acmwgc8

Congrats on your wedding! HM registries are frowned upon on these boards for sure!
We are getting married next weekend and actually used Honeyfund as well as a small BB&B registry.
Our friends and family thought it was a great idea! I must say that we have had more HM registry gifts than BB&B gifts! So far, we have received almost $3000.00.
-Oh, and I'm having a destination wedding as well!

People on these boards will tell you it is rude, but when all is said and done, it depends on your friends and family...you know them and how they would perceive it. I highly recommend Honeyfund. They do not charge people for transactions and you can use Paypal if you have an account!

Happy Planning!

dazyabbey

I think you  have a variety of different opinions on here that give both sides.
We have recently set up a honeyfund because they do not charge a percentage. I do think that it is important if you register for a specific dinner or item that you use the cash for that specific item.

You shouldn't expect anyone to contribute at all though. If they do then yay if they don't then you should be able to afford the honeymoon and all activities on your own.

KrystalsKitsch

It really depends on your crowd. I'd say about half our guests used our honeymoon registry through Honeyfund. Basically it just deposited funds to our Paypal account that we used to pay for excursions and drinks on the boat. We took pictures of everything we did and showed the guests who contributed to show them what we did with our gift. It worked out well for us but we were the first in our crowd to get married and also most of our guests were in their 20s so they were fine with just clicking around on the internet to give us something for our wedding.

We had already paid for our cruise beforehand, this was just something extra.

ChristinaJoey2012

No were we are staying during our wedding is the same house we will be staying in for our honeymoon.  No second trip.  And most of our guest wont have to travel any further than we do.  We're getting married at the beach but it's about 45 minute drive for most people. 

CassieCA

We've been planning a honeymoon registry, and after reading this thread, I'm still planning to do a honeymoon registry. 

As a gift giver, I think it's terrible to ask for cash and I won't give it.  However, the idea that it's for the honeymoon, and seeing pictures that I was able to help the couple have a great time, I much prefer to do than to get them some piece of junk that they don't need or want and will then have to spend their time returning later. Both my finance and I greatly prefer "experiences" rather than "stuff" for our bdays and holidays too so that's what we normally do. And if there is a 5-7% fee, that doesn't bother me at all given that where I live (CA) sales tax is 8.75% and shipping costs to the couple are usually well above that as well, so all in all it's more cost effective to the purchaser to do this.

As a 2nd time bride in my 40s, yes, we will also have a traditional registry, but it will only have 10-15 things on it because we don't need, want, or have the space for, much of anything.  So we're putting a few extra linens, and a couple of replacements for our everyday dishes, but that's it.

And we don't need the honeymoon registry to take our honeymoon (the funds are there), but I think the HR is much better than asking for cash more directly. And we would use it for what it's designated for and share pictures and the experience in the TYs.

Had to comment... I feel really sorry for the person who views a honeymoon as a "sexfest", you're missing out on a lot...

Zoziku

I completely agree with you - my fiance and I have been living together for over 5 years and don't need much in the way of housewares.  We similarly do the experiences vs gifts route for anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, etc. and our friends and family know that, so I don't see anything wrong with the HoneyFund. 

Well said on the "sexfest" comment... I read that and was like "really???"  Someone was having a bad day :)


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:3fa77c2f-baa0-41cf-8e4c-6f238e4ff827Post:bc954bd6-b2b1-42bd-a571-d5939db3b5c7">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]We've been planning a honeymoon registry, and after reading this thread, I'm still planning to do a honeymoon registry.  As a gift giver, I think it's terrible to ask for cash and I won't give it.  However, the idea that it's for the honeymoon, and seeing pictures that I was able to help the couple have a great time, I much prefer to do than to get them some piece of junk that they don't need or want and will then have to spend their time returning later. Both my finance and I greatly prefer "experiences" rather than "stuff" for our bdays and holidays too so that's what we normally do. And if there is a 5-7% fee, that doesn't bother me at all given that where I live (CA) sales tax is 8.75% and shipping costs to the couple are usually well above that as well, so all in all it's more cost effective to the purchaser to do this. As a 2nd time bride in my 40s, yes, we will also have a traditional registry, but it will only have 10-15 things on it because we don't need, want, or have the space for, much of anything.  So we're putting a few extra linens, and a couple of replacements for our everyday dishes, but that's it. And we don't need the honeymoon registry to take our honeymoon (the funds are there), but I think the HR is much better than asking for cash more directly. And we would use it for what it's designated for and share pictures and the experience in the TYs. Had to comment... I feel really sorry for the person who views a honeymoon as a "sexfest", you're missing out on a lot...
Posted by CassieCA[/QUOTE]