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How much is customary to give at a wedding now?

I know answers will vary, but I am the maid of honor and was wondering in CT how much do couples typically give as a monetary gift?

Re: How much is customary to give at a wedding now?

  • SB1512SB1512 member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    As much as you feel comfortable giving and what you can afford.  That whole "cover your plate" mentality is bs in my opinion.  For me it really depends on my relationship with the coulple and how much I've spent prior to the wedding.  There have been times where I have given $150-$200 and times where I have given less than $100 because it was a. all I could afford and b. I had already contributed money for a shower and bparty
  • You give what you can afford. I'm very traditional so as long as I can afford it, I always give to 'cover my plate', at the very least. There really aren't any set rules though. So just give what you are comfortable with.
    "Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are."
  • I agree, what you can afford/are comfortable.  We usually give $200 total from DH and myself. 
  • I give what I can afford but I'm sure it does not always cover my and my fiance's plate. A lot of our friends get married in Westchester where I know they have spent $200+ per plate. That doesn't mean I can give $400 because they decided to get married there. We usually give $250 from the both of us. I don't count spending money at a shower or bachelorette party into that though. Even if I have gone to those events, I still usually give the same amount for everyone.
  • I'm a big fan of my aunt's line, "If you want me to cover my plate then I get to pick the place."

    DH and I were married about 5 years ago and the average give we rec'd was approx $150.

  • We give what we can afford. That amount is usually between $200-$250 for the both of us.
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  • FI and I typically give $200.  But as PP said, it all depends on what we can afford at the time

  • Obviously give what you can afford, but generally we give $250 for friends, $300 for close friends/family or if we're in the bridal party.  That has increased as we've gotten older.  For our first friends to get married right out of college (7 years ago--eek!), I think we only gave $150.   For my best friend/MOH (she's not married yet), I'd probably still do $300 for the wedding itself, but I'd have spent quite a bit more than usual on a shower gift, engagement gift, bachelorette gift, and on and on.   Again, that's for a "typical" wedding around here, since you asked....semi formal, sit down dinner, etc.  If it was a lower key backyard bbq type wedding, we'd give less.  Which maybe isn't correct, etiquette-wise, but I would consider the approx cost of the wedding when deciding the amount of the gift.  I know that's debateable though, and I totally see both sides!
  • Carebear62584Carebear62584 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited July 2012
    H and I usually give about $200.  We did give a little less when we went to a wedding in Long Island last winter.  I was in the wedding so I had spent a lot on travel to and from for the wedding and shower/bachelorette, wine tasting tour, hotels, the dress, hair (might I add, I'm the only BM that paid for my hair), going into NYC to go dress shopping with her, etc.  I wasn't as close with this girl as I was once was and with planning our own wedding we couldn't afford as much. 

    Our average monetary gift was about $150-200 per couple but obviously some people gave more and some gave less.  Some people will surprise you in good and bad ways.  My brother and I decided not to do wedding gifts for each other since he is getting married next year.  So yes, I guess it all does matter what you can afford.
  • We can't afford any of that - we've been living off one salary while my FI went through law school, so often our gifts are around $100 for the two of us.



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