Wedding Invites & +1s

timliz

I need somc advice!

When my fiance and I made ourguest list, we gave all our friends a +1 out of courtesy.  With 90% of my friends I know their S.O.  On my list, I have two friends, who happen to be roommates.  I don't know either of their boyfriends.  (I met one guy once before they started dating and remember how annoyed I was with him the whole night).

So my dilema..do I give them +1s?  It bothers me already knowing that if they come I'm paying $150 for each of them to eat and drink, and one of them I don't even like.  I figure since my friends are roommates and are friends with other ppl coming- its not like they will be alone.  But then I keep going back to the idea that I'm letting my other friends bring their bfs/gfs (but the turn side is that I do know them). I have NO idea what to do I don't want to offend anyone but the idea of them coming is already bothering me.

What do I do?? What would you guys do?? Whats the proper etiquette for something like this?? ahh.

alexismurda

What we did was we only invited people with guests if they were living together or have been together for a long period of time (serious relationship). Honestly, you know them best and if you don't feel close to their SO or don't even know them at all,  I don't think they will be offended if they are not invited along with them. 

Melissa603

We are only doing engaged, married, or long-term S.O. we are not giving every one a +1. We can't afford it. If there are S.O. that you do not know I think it is acceptable to not invite them. 

herb0622

We are doing the same. We only extended the +1 to our friend/couples that are married, engaged, or been in a relationship for a while. We didn't want someone just bringing a random date, especially since the cost per person was $100

Vcforem1

I totally understand your dilemma.  We have been trying to figure out ways to keep our guest list down as well and we thought about limiting plus ones.  However, we decided that paying for a few extra (even if random) people wouldn't kill us, especially if it's a good friend.   So I would let your friends bring a plus one if they wanted.  If they are single, perhaps they won't even bring a date.  If you have real money constraints then I could understand the dilemma but not if you just don't like the person, or don't feel like paying for the plus one.  It might be offensive to them and the last thing you want is to have sore feelings between you and your friends because of your wedding... because it will last well beyond the wedding... Just my opinion!

daniellelmilczak

Ditto PP with only giving our friends +1s if its a serious, long-term relationship.

tannymcgee

If they are serious or long term SOs, I say you should give them a +1.  

timliz

Neither of them have been dating for very long.   I can almost guarantee it wont get serious/go anywhere.  They won't be the only ones I'm not giving a +1 to..but so far in my "calculating the guest list" I put them as having +1.  II just know the kinds of guys they tend to date. 
Anyways! We'll figure it out- it may just be easier to pay the $ than offend them, I obviously don't want to do that...I just don't want there to be issues @ the wedding either!

thanks for all the imput!

SuMmErKuTiE

We did the plus 1's on a case by case situation. If they were dating someone, they got a plus 1, if they weren't really going to know anyone else they got a plus 1, but if they were single and were a part of the large group of friends there and would be more than comfortable they did not get a plus 1 because then they would just be finding a random date to bring with them on our dime.

calindi

I think it's also important to consider if they have to travel or stay overnight somewhere.  Sometimes people are more comfortable having someone to travel with, so that might lean towards the +1.

Personally, all my friends will get +1s (since there will only be 10 friends, and only 2 of them I wouldn't know their SO personally, it's not a big deal).  My brother's good friends who would be invited as they are practically family won't get +1s since they've come to all our family functions for years without a SO.    My cousins won't get a +1 since they're all under 21 years old and I don't feel it's necessary - they've never brought a date to a family function, either.

Think of it this way - if you were having a party at your house, would you invite them alone, or with their date?

starrbuk13

i think the only people that MUST have +1s are married or engaged/living together couples.  but i'll say this - treat everyone in the same relationship situation the same way.  so if you decide to extend +1s to some boyfriends, everyone with a BF gets a +1, regardless of whether you've met the person or like the person.  

fwiw, we did +1s for absolutely everyone, even if they were single as they come.  i just think it's a nice gesture so your guests don't have to feel left out at all.

badkittyct

I am not giving a +1 for casual dating relationships. Cohabitating, engaged, married are invited as couples. One of the only exceptions is my Grandfather (practially my dad) who is widowed and he will be bringing a lady friend. Revise your guest list and revise again til it fits your needs!

banana468

I hope you invite the serious but not cohabitating too. DH and I were serious after about 3 months but I didnt move in until after we were engaged which came at the 2.5 year mark.