Am I being rude?

Abochino

We are only having a maid of honor and best man in the wedding party. Is it rude that I am not paying for the maid of honors dress/hair and make up? I asked her if she wanted to go with my mom and i  to my moms friends salon because we are getting our hair and make up done for a reasonable price but i didnt say she has to get it professionally done. She hasnt really spoken to me since I asked her about the salon so I am wondering if she is annoyed with me...What are you all paying for in terms of your wedding partys dresses/tuxes, hair and make up?

KellyJayD

We can not afford to offer to pay for everyones attire or hair. When you ask someone to be MOH or BM I think it is expected they will have to buy their dress as long as you discuss their price range etc and don't pic out some crazy expensive dress. 
 I did the same thing with hair/makeup I emailed all of my girls (because they live in different cities couldn't meet up) I basically just said hey I am getting my hair done at X place and if anyone would like to come and get their har done as well her price range is Y. I just let them know and explained they did not have just wanted to put it out there if they were interested.

jmestyle

NO!! You are not being rude at all!

The bride very rarely pays for those things.Just buy her a nice gift as a thank you for being the MOH

I am paying for my BMs deposit only for their hair and makeup and only because I want to, not because its expected. I've been a BM a couple times and the bride has never paid for any of the BM expenses

preciousgrl120

No, I don't think you're being rude, as long as you talk to her and make sure she understands that you are not telling her that she has to get her hair and makeup done.  I can't afford to pay for any of my girls either, I just told them that I could book them in if they'd like it done, but I'm not requiring anything.  Only one of my bm's is going to get her hair done, but that's fine with me.

curlycue27

As long as you don't require extras like hair and makeup, you don't have to pay.  Maybe your offer to have her join you was misunderstood to be a requirement?

I budgeted to pay for hair for my girls but not makeup, so I said something along the lines of ,"if anyone would like to join me to get makeup done let me know and I'll reserve you a spot with me.  It costs X amount."

Abochino

Thank you for the advice...I told her she could go with me if she wanted, I didnt say she had to...I was just wondering because she seemed annoyed about it...

SuMmErKuTiE

No you're definitely not being rude! As pp mentioned, when you're asked to be in someone's wedding you know that by accepting means you'll be responsible for the price of the dress or tux unless the bride and groom offer to pay for it, but I've never known anyone who can afford to do that for their BP. 

As for my girls' hair and makeup, I let them know who's coming to do my hair and make up and how much it'll cost, but apologized and said I'm sorry I can't afford to pay for all of you, so if you want to get it done go ahead, but it's not mandatory. This way they were able to choose for themselves whether or not to have their hair and makeup done. 

tashala107

I agree with all the PPs. You are not being rude at ALL! And if you are... consider me rude as well because that's exactly what I plan on doing. As long as you are not forcing her to spend an outrageous amount on a dress and requiring hair and make up , you are in the clear.

beach11

I dont think you are being rude at all.  Like everyone mentioned when you ask someone to be a BM or MOH it is understood that there are certain items that they will need to purchase or get.  As long as you talk to them before you made any final decisions (to get their budgets and thoughts on dresses)

banana468

It's fine the way you phrased it.   As long as you didn't make it sound like it was required, you're fine.

Hair and makeup can't be her expense if you require them.

christikao

Nope, it's not like you are demanding she gets it done by your stylist. I can't afford to pay for my girls' hair/makeup(I have 6 BMs) but I let them know that it's not a requirement for them to get their hair and makeup done by the people I hired. I did offer to pay for my MOH's makeup (she's getting her hair done by her regular salon) but she hasn't gotten back to me yet. 

Vikki2pay

No I don't think you're being rude at all, it's not as if you are telling her she needs to have her hair and makeup professionally done.