RSVP deadline has passed....vent

Carla1019

and 50 people mostly future in-laws guests WILL NOT rsvp. I spoke with FFIL and he told me "yeah, they all got the invitation and they are coming". I said I'm sure they plan too, but I still need them to RSVP. FI tried but also failed with getting his parents to understand that saying, "yeah, I'm coming" is not a proper RSVP. We don't know what meal choice they want.

This is a nightmare, but I have decided to let it go. I can't "make" people act right. They will have to eat what we give them.

Good news, the venue will allow us to sign a waiver and take any extra food home. This makes me feel a little better that no food will be wasted.

michelle11988

I would call your FMIL and ask for everyone's phone number and call them and say I need to know what your meal choice is and your definitive answer and if I don't here by x (a few days in the future) I will assume you are not coming.  When is your headcount due?

BmoreBride311

That is so annoying! I don't get ppl. Besides, don't they want to choose their meal? I know I always like choosing what I get.

BeachLover2885

I agree with Michelle's advice. Since you need to know about the meal choice, I would make every attempt to get in touch with these people. It's definitely not fair that you have to do this. You must be so frustrated. Most of the people who didn't reply were on FI's side too and it was a PITA trying to get the FILs to track everyone down. And I also agree with Bmore... why wouldn't they want to choose what they eat?? I definitely would! 

Carla1019

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rsvp-deadline-has-passedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:cfaf4d2a-47fe-476e-9c22-cf50f2afa26dPost:a97d0fb9-9280-4b06-a749-8f8b0d5360e3">Re: RSVP deadline has passed....vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I would call your FMIL and ask for everyone's phone number and call them and say I need to know what your meal choice is and your definitive answer and if I don't here by x (a few days in the future) I will assume you are not coming.  When is your headcount due?
Posted by michelle11988[/QUOTE]

I wish I could do this but I know that the inlaws would be offended if I called their guests to "bother them". I'm going to pick their food for them. Next time they will learn to RSVP if they want a choice. I'm so over this....

michelle11988

I don't think your bothering anyone by getting meal choices out of them for a hosted event.  I agree with Schatzi that FILs can choose the meals.  If FILs won't choose, I would give everyone the cheaper of the two dishes, but then again I'm not in a great mood and am trying to reduce my budget as much as possible at the moment.

bridetobe71412

Our RSVP deadline was the 14th and I am still waiting on about 20 RSVPs. Need their entree, need to know whether they need bus transportation, and need to know if they're attending the brunch the next morning. I have FMIL and my mom calling people to get their info. I would rather them be "put off" by having to be "bothered" to get their RSVP than to give them the wrong meal and/or assume they're coming/not coming and be wrong.

honeybear072012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rsvp-deadline-has-passedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:cfaf4d2a-47fe-476e-9c22-cf50f2afa26dPost:b825eabe-7aee-4e36-9ebe-921676afb815">Re: RSVP deadline has passed....vent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP deadline has passed....vent : I wish I could do this but I know that the inlaws would be offended if I called their guests to "bother them". I'm going to pick their food for them. Next time they will learn to RSVP if they want a choice. I'm so over this....
Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

As much as I love the sound of this cause I would love to do this, I'm with PP...Not a good idea.  I think it would cause more problems than it's worth.  Just be patient and try and get your FIL to see that they have to make a choice. My FMIL would tell me that yes, so and so is coming, and I'd have to ask her over and over for their meal choice.  I finally told her to just contact them and ask that they send in the RSVP.

littlemoments324

Thankfully we've have people be compliant...I'm just waiting to hear back from my aunt who is contacting the 4 people on my dad's side who we haven't heard from yet...some people are "i'm so sorry, I forgot! and we'll have X for dinner"....