Honeymoon Registry-Positive Review

lesliesoontobehoward

Wow... I was really shocked to see all of the negativity about honeymoon registries! I'm getting married on the 19th, and I have a honeymoon registry. It has been a wonderful experience! I thought I would take a moment to share some positive feedback for any of you that might be considering one.

Some things to note:

I'm having a destination wedding because I no longer live in my hometown, and our whole family is spread across the country. I had a wedding shower in my hometown, and the honeymoon registry was a hit! People were able to give me a gift without having to pay for shipping or me having to lug it cross country. Even when I had my shower in the city I live in, most people opted to go with the honeymoon registry. They all thought it was an amazing idea!

I used Traveler's Joy, which does NOT charge your gift giver a fee. I was charged 7%, but that did not bother me, as it was not affecting the person buying the gift. They did not have to physically give me any kind of voucher, and I have been able to collect my funds after 72 hours of the gift being purchased.

I only listed things we were already going to do to make sure that there was no chance of someone buying us an excursion that we would end up not wanting to do. Also, it is definitely important to make sure you are only registering for a honeymoon you can afford without any help.

I have absolutely loved having this registry, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. My guests have loved having an alternative to boring house stuff while feeling like they are giving us something more personal than cash. Sure, we're getting the money, but we're really going to use it to have a gourmet dinner on the beach, and we're going to share pictures with those people who contributed to it.

In the end, you know your guests. My family and friends are not the type who would ever have even thought for a moment that we were being rude by having this registry, so it was perfect for me.

tkddddddddd

You're pretty brave to be posting this! I agree with you and am glad to hear you had such a positive experience but I won't be sticking around for all of the "wow, you're so rude and anti-etiquette - too bad no one told you to save you the embarrassment posts" lol.

amymaysa

I'm curious as to how your showers worked when people basically gave you gift certificates?

Great you had a good experience, but in the end, you were still asking guests for money, which is rude and you were charges 7% to receive that money.

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-positive-review?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:80e5d0ca-9e5e-4bc5-89e4-ee62e12f137fPost:7f905f37-d415-4cbf-b6da-73c6cb1f9c8b">Honeymoon Registry-Positive Review</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow... I was really shocked to see all of the negativity about honeymoon registries! I'm getting married on the 19th, and I have a honeymoon registry. It has been a wonderful experience! I thought I would take a moment to share some positive feedback for any of you that might be considering one. Some things to note: I'm having a destination wedding because I no longer live in my hometown, and our whole family is spread across the country. I had a wedding shower in my hometown, and the honeymoon registry was a hit! People were able to give me a gift without having to pay for shipping or me having to lug it cross country. Even when I had my shower in the city I live in, most people opted to go with the honeymoon registry. They all thought it was an amazing idea! <strong>I used Traveler's Joy, which does NOT charge your gift giver a fee. I was charged 7%, but that did not bother me, as it was not affecting the person buying the gift. </strong>They did not have to physically give me any kind of voucher, and I have been able to collect my funds after 72 hours of the gift being purchased. I only listed things we were already going to do to make sure that there was no chance of someone buying us an excursion that we would end up not wanting to do. Also, it is definitely important to make sure you are only registering for a honeymoon you can afford without any help. I have absolutely loved having this registry, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. My guests have loved having an alternative to boring house stuff while feeling like they are giving us something more personal than cash. Sure, we're getting the money, but we're really going to use it to have a gourmet dinner on the beach, and we're going to share pictures with those people who contributed to it. In the end, you know your guests. My family and friends are not the type who would ever have even thought for a moment that we were being rude by having this registry, so it was perfect for me.
Posted by lesliesoontobehoward[/QUOTE]

Why are you ok with giving up 7% of your gifts?  That's why people hate HM registries.

iheartmarshall

If your guests are willing to do the HM registry and you don't mind the 7% fee, then I don't think there's anything wrong with it.  I've seen these be a good experience for some and a horrible experience others.... it really just depends on you as a couple and how your guests react to it. 

In theory, I love the idea!  And I honestly wouldn't mind paying the 7% fee -- it's not the best thing, but you just accept it like you accept the fees when selling on eBay, Amazon, and similar sites.  You just have to factor that in to what you're asking for.  My only issue is the gray area -- as a guest who's contributing to a HM registry, you can't be certain what that money will actually be spent on.  Then again, I'd rather contribute to a snorkeling excursion that will provide a wonderful experience for the couple than buying another towel set that will never get used.

I guess I could argue either side.

iheartmarshall

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-positive-review?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:80e5d0ca-9e5e-4bc5-89e4-ee62e12f137fPost:2def9fad-efe0-40ea-b2b9-533fb424ff30">Re: Honeymoon Registry-Positive Review</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm curious as to how your showers worked when people basically gave you gift certificates? Great you had a good experience, but in the end, you were still asking guests for money, which is rude and you were charges 7% to receive that money.
Posted by amymaysa[/QUOTE]

What's the difference in asking guests to spend $$$ on home stuff that you probably don't need rather than spending it on a partial gift on a HM registry?  I really don't think there's a difference.  If I'm going to spend $50 on a set of dishes or $50 on a dinner for the couple, I'm going to be spending $50 regardless so the money isn't necessarily a factor. 

Regarding the shower portion.... there are always going to be guests who bring regular gifts and don't pay any attention to what you have on you registry; this always happens.  Although I haven't been in this position personally, I would assume that if you are only having a HM registry, the shower is an opportunity to have fun with your guests and celebrate before your wedding.  Not everyone brings a gift anyway; some people just bring cards.  If a guest doesn't want to contribute to the HM registry, they don't have to... they can just send their wishes with a card and their presence at the wedding.

I apologize if I step on any toes; that's not my intent.  I can just understand the bride's position in favor of HM registries... they work for some people, but not everyone.

shannie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-positive-review?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:80e5d0ca-9e5e-4bc5-89e4-ee62e12f137fPost:8dd49eac-3369-4fe8-b9a6-daed16d62f47">Re: Honeymoon Registry-Positive Review</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry-Positive Review : What's the difference in asking guests to spend $$$ on home stuff that you probably don't need rather than spending it on a partial gift on a HM registry?  I really don't think there's a difference.  If I'm going to spend $50 on a set of dishes or $50 on a dinner for the couple, I'm going to be spending $50 regardless so the money isn't necessarily a factor.  Regarding the shower portion.... there are always going to be guests who bring regular gifts and don't pay any attention to what you have on you registry; this always happens.Posted by iheartmarshall[/QUOTE]

This.  I suggest registering for both. Plus not all places charge the 7%.  I responded to a question about this yesterday in the Etiquette board. As long as you give your guests options, ex bed Bath and beyond or for an excursion when you are at your honeymoon.  If they don't like the honeymoon idea then let them get you the gift.  I know that me and my Fiance are older and most of our guests know that we do not need household items.  Well..... maybe I would like to register for that very expensive mixer that everyone else seems to get.

MrsMeganL2012

Why not just ask for cash then?  It's what you're getting in the end, less the 7% fee.  You can still tell everyone it's for the HM and take pictures of your dinner on the beach, etc.  

Summer2011Bride

I just don't get why people wouldn't just prefer to have cash or checks given the old-fashioned way in a card instead of being CHARGED 7% to receive a gift. I would never PAY just to get a gift. That seems counter-productive.

Also, I would find a shower where the only gifts being given were HM vouchers a little odd. The point of a shower is to have physical gifts to open. Typically gift cards are not even given at showers.

lesliesoontobehoward

We do have 2 other registries for physical gifts besides the honeymoon registry, and people chose the honeymoon registry 2 to 1. Gift opening was not a focal point of either of my showers. We all played games and spent time together. They were both wonderful. Everyone who purchased a gift from the honeymoon registry commented on how great they thought it was. People wrote me cards about how they really hoped we would enjoy the portion they selected from our honeymoon. They were excited about the options we gave. I think it's a shame that so many people are focusing on what is typical and expected. If your first thought is "That's rude", then it's not for you. Simple as that... However, you shouldn't be so judgmental of those that decide it works for them. Everyone should feel good doing what's best for their wedding.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-positive-review?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:80e5d0ca-9e5e-4bc5-89e4-ee62e12f137fPost:312fa6a2-4551-4cd6-83db-642cf678619d">Re: Honeymoon Registry-Positive Review</a>:
[QUOTE]However, you shouldn't be so judgmental of those that decide it works for them. Everyone should feel good doing what's best for their wedding.
Posted by lesliesoontobehoward[/QUOTE]
I disagree with that. You should make good, INFORMED decisions about what is best for your wedding, WITHOUT making your guests feel uncomfortable, or asking them to provide anything.

By the way, do the people who 'purchased' from your honeymoon registry realize that you gave up 7%(!!) of their gift? I know a lot of people who think the idea is great (and on the surface, i do too) but it's in fully understanding what happens to that money and 'gift' where people get upset. I bet if you said, *Hey Aunt Jane! Thanks for your $47.50 contribution to our honeymoon registry!" She'd wonder YTF you had them contribute to that?

lesliesoontobehoward

In Response to Re:Honeymoon RegistryPositive Review:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon RegistryPositive Review I disagree with that. You should make good, INFORMED decisions about what is best for your wedding, WITHOUT making your guests feel uncomfortable, or asking them to provide anything. Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

This is just crazy... I knew exactly how the registry worked, so it was an INFORMED decision, and I also knew I could have this registry WITHOUT making my guests feel uncomfortable. As for asking them to provide anything, we all make registries, but no is required to make a purchase. They decide which registry, if any, they would like to use.

I did not mind paying the fee, which was my decision. There are many things our guests don't know about what happens after they buy our gifts. Are you going to also tell someone, "Thanks for those margarita glasses! When the glow of registering wore off after our wedding 6 months later, we realized we don't really have the room to store them or drink margaritas, but we're really going to love that Macy's credit!"?

Again, I will say, this clearly doesn't work for everyone. If you are the kind of bride who would argue about this, then this wasn't meant for you. Yet, all of the arguments against it are pretty much in vain, because they are becoming more popular, and more places are starting to offer them. Clearly, there is a demand for it, and not everyone thinks it's rude.

rondokye

I was just posting about this on another board.  I had three registries as well, one of which was a 'honeymoon registry' through AAA (also have a BBB and JC Pennys registry).  And it worked out great for us.  AAA doesn't take any percentage of the gifts.  100% of what was given came back to my FI and me in the form of a reduction on our final balance.  I know - we could have just applied the cash gifts to the balance without a middle man.  But so many of my friends and family thought that it was a great idea.  They knew that there wasn't much that we needed but wanted to help in some way.

I don't know - to each their own, I guess.  I think you just have to be careful on how and when you do it.

amymaysa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-positive-review?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:80e5d0ca-9e5e-4bc5-89e4-ee62e12f137fPost:8dd49eac-3369-4fe8-b9a6-daed16d62f47">Re: Honeymoon Registry-Positive Review</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry-Positive Review : What's the difference in asking guests to spend $$$ on home stuff that you probably don't need rather than spending it on a partial gift on a HM registry?  I really don't think there's a difference.  If I'm going to spend $50 on a set of dishes or $50 on a dinner for the couple, I'm going to be spending $50 regardless so the money isn't necessarily a factor.  Regarding the shower portion.... there are always going to be guests who bring regular gifts and don't pay any attention to what you have on you registry; this always happens.  Although I haven't been in this position personally, I would assume that if you are only having a HM registry, the shower is an opportunity to have fun with your guests and celebrate before your wedding.  Not everyone brings a gift anyway; some people just bring cards.  If a guest doesn't want to contribute to the HM registry, they don't have to... they can just send their wishes with a card and their presence at the wedding. I apologize if I step on any toes; that's not my intent.  I can just understand the bride's position in favor of HM registries... they work for some people, but not everyone.
Posted by iheartmarshall[/QUOTE]

I think there is a difference between asking people to help pay for part of your honeymoon, which you do not need to take verus gifting you a ktichen aid mixer. Yes, you don't need the mixer, but the ideas of showers (when they were first started and now for many) are that they help the newleyweds set up their home and guests contribute to that.

To each their own. I personally would never buy anything off a HM, but that's just me. I have also never been to a shower where someone didn't bring a gift and there have only been one of 2 times I have seen gift cards given at one.

I will be the first to admit, it's weird to create a registry. Yes, they are all the same in that you are creating a list of things you want. I can only speak for us, but we did not put anything ours that we do not need.

You say $50 is $50 and tha's true but in this case, the OP isn't getting $50 from her guests but really $47.50 (or so). Yes, she is aware of the fee and it is a small one, but there is still a fee, where if a guest wanted to give $50 in cash, that is what the couple ends up with.

Again, to each their own. I would rather give someone something they will use in their home or cash than pay for their vacation.