July 2012 Weddings

Can I vent a little bit?

So we were hoping to close on the 8th, but it feels like the lender is taking their time gathering information and sending them off to underwriting. We sent almost everything weeks ago and they're still saying that they're working on verifiying some of the information. They say it'd be "really really" difficult to close on the 8th, possibly not for another 2 weeks. AHH!!

My mom is supposed to come for 4 days to help us clean & move and I don't want to wait any longer!

And FMIL keeps asking us if we can watch FI's younger brother (he's 21 and has Downs) in the middle of everything! They are going to Las Vegas and thought that the brother would love it if he stayed with us.

We live an hour away and we'd need to drive a lot and FI works six days a week. What annoys me the most is there are a lot of family who live near them who can watch him easily. We are trying to plan a wedding, I'm trying to work on my license, we are cleaning and packing everything, we were working hard on finding a new tenant for our current house, and we have no idea when we can close.

I feel like FMIL doesn't think! She thinks everything is a great idea and thinks we have all the time in the world to do everything. As a matter of fact when we moved into our current house, FMIL suggested that the brother live with us permanently. HUH?? I feel like she tends to put me in an awkward position by asking me something directly while it should be left between her and FI.

Ok I will stop now. Thanks for listening. I kinda feel better.
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Re: Can I vent a little bit?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_can-i-vent-a-little-bit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:d0288638-c42f-4e7a-8a53-61e749c480d4Post:4181185c-3a60-4cc9-ad04-beec1731eaf2">Can I vent a little bit?</a>:
    [QUOTE]So we were hoping to close on the 8th, but it feels like the lender is taking their time gathering information and sending them off to underwriting. We sent almost everything weeks ago and they're still saying that they're working on verifiying some of the information. They say it'd be "really really" difficult to close on the 8th, possibly not for another 2 weeks. AHH!! My mom is supposed to come for 4 days to help us clean & move and I don't want to wait any longer! And FMIL keeps asking us if we can watch FI's younger brother (he's 21 and has Downs) in the middle of everything! They are going to Las Vegas and thought that the brother would love it if he stayed with us. We live an hour away and we'd need to drive a lot and FI works six days a week. What annoys me the most is there are a lot of family who live near them who can watch him easily. We are trying to plan a wedding, I'm trying to work on my license, we are cleaning and packing everything, we were working hard on finding a new tenant for our current house, and we have no idea when we can close. I feel like FMIL doesn't think! She thinks everything is a great idea and thinks we have all the time in the world to do everything. As a matter of fact when we moved into our current house, FMIL suggested that the brother live with us permanently. HUH?? I feel like she tends to put me in an awkward position by asking me something directly while it should be left between her and FI. Ok I will stop now. Thanks for listening. I kinda feel better.
    Posted by mekiakoo[/QUOTE]

    That is super awkward with the whole brother thing. On one hand, you feel like a jerk for saying no - but on the other hand, you know some things just aren't feasible right now. I'm surprised FMIL is so freakin' blind and oblivious to all that you have going on - but that's in-laws for ya.
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  • I would not even entertain the idea of having his brother come!  Tell your FI that he needs to tell his mom no.  If he says everything that you just said hopefully she will understand.  Plus most of the responsibility of caring for him will fall onto you if your FI works 6 days a week.  I would just say I am really sorry we have too much stuff going on right now.

    As far as the house goes we had our closing day pushed back about 5 different times it happens to everyone and there is really nothing you can do about.  You just need to sit tight until everything is done with the underwriting department.
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  • Wow, what an awkard situation your FMIL has put you in....you guys are way too busy and stressed with the new house and wedding planning to babysit for that long of a time period!  Sending positive vibes your way :) I would definitely be annoyed if I was in your shoes!
  • I think this is an instance where you two have to be blunt and say "I have too much going on right now, when we're settled with things, we'd love to have him!"

    You're right; it's too much.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_can-i-vent-a-little-bit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:d0288638-c42f-4e7a-8a53-61e749c480d4Post:97c6fb08-f955-4f1e-85e1-3bd7e9170da0">Re: Can I vent a little bit?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Can I vent a little bit? : That is super awkward with the whole brother thing. On one hand, you feel like a jerk for saying no - but on the other hand, you know some things just aren't feasible right now. I'm surprised FMIL is so freakin' blind and oblivious to all that you have going on - but that's in-laws for ya.
    Posted by BrightFirefly[/QUOTE]

    This exactly.
    doggie Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Vent away! That is what we are here for. These boards have become more of my support group than wedding planning resource.

    I agree with everyone, hold your ground. It is not a good time. Not just in-laws but many others don't understand how much of a financial and emotional strain weddings are. And you are buying a house.

    Don't try and be superwoman. Only take on what you can handle. This is a good life lesson for your FI to learn that you're becoming his wife and your needs are now first before anyone else's.

    Best of luck and keep us posted on what happens.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • gosh I'm sorry, that sounds so beyond frustrating. Hopefully your FI can be firm with her and tell her that he can't stay with you. 
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • ditto bridetobe! Also....oh my goodness, that is super awkward and would be hard for me to deal with too. Good luck with everything and lots of good vibes that it all gets sorted with the house stuff! Smile
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_can-i-vent-a-little-bit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:d0288638-c42f-4e7a-8a53-61e749c480d4Post:c58386ef-47c7-43ff-983e-a190c874a1ca">Re: Can I vent a little bit?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think this is an instance where you two have to be blunt and say "I have too much going on right now, when we're settled with things, we'd love to have him!" You're right; it's too much.
    Posted by bridetobe71412[/QUOTE]



    This. And the delay for the closing really sucks.
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