Settling???

jsurmacy

So fiancé and I have a 5,000 dollar budget for our Jan. 2014 honeymoon. We thought we had decided on a Secrets resort, either Jamaica or Huatoloco, Mexico. I am second guessing now whether we are settling or if our budget is just limiting us (which is fine - I'd be happy to go to either or those places!) i just have 10 months still and dont know if it is worth further research on more far away destinations. I need some opinions.

With our budget is it realistic to look at destinations like Maldives, Bali, New Zealand or even at some more expensive islands like St. Croix or Aruba?

Things that are important to us are warm weather, a beach and all inclusive. We don't have a ton of extra money and we'd rather have all paid for up front and not have to worry at all about finances while we are away.

HobokensFury

We "settled" on a Southern Caribbean cruise.  I wanted to go to Ireland but we couldn't afford it.  Both of us went on the Cruise for less than the price for one of us to go to Ireland.  Guess what- we had the time of our lives.  I think it was the right decision.  TBH the flight to New Zealand it going to take up half of your budget so it's not really realistic.  Just remember it's not what you go it's what you make out of it.

Jells2dot0

Airfare to the Maldives will be about $2K/person. Airfare to Bali and NZ is less, but not by much. I recently flew to Australia and my tickets were $1400/person. So, more than half of your budget would be taken up by airfare. You can certainly look into other islands in the Caribbean, but what do you prefer?- an island that is a little more expensive, so the hotel isn't as luxurious and you can't stay as long or do you want something more luxurious so you go to a destination that doesn't cost as much? Also. keep in mind that January to peak season in the Caribbean, so your budget won't go as far as June or September. I recommend speaking with a travel agent to see where you can get the most for your budget, but don't let anyone tell you that your destination or idea of what you want isn't "good enough" or it's "Settling." A lot of girls on here feel pressured to go half way around the world and spend $10,000 while going into debt because it's their special day and they're entitled to it or that is what the wedding industry tells you should do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your plans and I love Secrets!

mlg78

We're also doing a cruise to the southern Caribbean and It's $1,750 for the both of us.  After the expenses of a wedding I just can't phathom spending a lot on a honeymoon right now...

jsurmacy

Thanks everyone! I think we are going to go with Secrets -- I am satisfied with that. We have many years for more extravagant trips!!

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_settling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:83178953-3ca3-498e-a8a0-3857e731885fPost:7abf1d8c-0168-4283-bbfe-c28d8ef82091">Re: Settling???</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks everyone! I think we are going to go with Secrets -- I am satisfied with that. We have many years for more extravagant trips!!
Posted by jsurmacy[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly.  The wedding industry does a fantastic job of brainwashing you into thinking that this is the only worthwhile trip you'll ever take.  That's just really unlikely, particularly since most older couples have more time and money to travel.</div><div>
</div><div>We are going to Jamaica, and we're already looking at places for our 1 year/graduation/bar trip for my FI.  Jamaica will be perfect for the honeymoon - we are both completely exhausted and just need to be left alone on the beach to recharge for a week.  But for our 1 year we're probably going to go over to Europe.  We've been slowly pricing out cities that are on our bucket list, just so we have a general sense of budget and what it would cost to go around May (I can get fairly accurate prices right now).  We will pick from that list depending on price, amount of vacation time we have, etc. - and it will be awesome.</div><div>
</div><div>Have fun - and let me also just tell you that I had my heart set on Spain 8 months out from my wedding.  I am now 100% against going there for our honeymoon and I'm incredibly excited about jamaica, because I would feel pressured to go go go and sightsee until I drop.  If all you want is a beach and a nice resort, don't stress yourself out over finding a unique one or one that gets you super close to your budget.  I suspect once you're on your honeymoon you probably won't even notice where you are for a couple days while you recouperate :)</div>

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_settling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:83178953-3ca3-498e-a8a0-3857e731885fPost:25b28f7b-a1c9-40a4-970d-08186667e77a">Re: Settling???</a>:
[QUOTE]I think if you're fine with it, then go for it.  But personally, I think Mexico and the Caribbean are just so... generic.  A $5,000 budget is really pretty flexible, and I think you could definitely think outside the box a little more with that amount.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes but see, it's really not anybody's business but hers/her FI's where they choose to go - lots and lots of people love their generic honeymoons.  Like I said, I want nothing more than to collapse on the beach, and I prefer it to be a beach with cocktails.  We had a similar budget, and we're saving a lot by choosing a resort in Jamaica, including excursions and spa treatments.  We didn't want to blow our budget out of the water or really get close to what we could afford to spend.  AI's are paid upfront, and there's nothing to worry about once you get there.  They are the easiest vacations in the world to plan.  Not everybody has the time, energy, inclination, or money to think outside the box for their honeymoon, particularly if wedding planning is stressful or difficult.  There's a reason why the Mexico/Carribean area is probably the #1 honeymoon destination for American couples, and I don't think telling her it's "generic" is something particularly helpful.  This just buys into the wedding industry motto of "spend more, and we promise it will be unique."</div>

nikole712

We are "settling" on a "generic honeymoon" in Aruba and I could not be happier. We originally talked about Europe, but as a PP said, we felt like if we went there, we'd have to sight see the whole time and know we will be exhausted and in need of relaxation after our wedding. We also thought about going back to Hawaii (we went there on vacation in July 2012) but the flight home to the East Coast was a killer and we don't want to go back to work exhausted after our trip. We are excited to have a relaxing vacation on the beach and if we want to sight see we can, but if we want to just hang out at the resort with cocktails, we can do that too! OP, I think your idea of an AI in Jamaica or Mexico is great and you and your new hubby will have an amazing trip no matter what destination you choose!

Maggie0829

OP, you have to stop thinking that you are 'settling' on your HM location.  If you and your FI are happy with the spot you choose that is all that matters.  Remember, a HM is just a vacation, nothing more, nothing less.  The wedding industry pumps it up to something that must be "unique" and "once in a lifetime".  But in reality not everyone can afford that "once in a lifetime" experience.

Think of it this way.  You want to go somewhere that has a beach and that is an AI.  Well whether you spend $20,000 or just your $5,000 and whether you go all the way to Timbucktoo or Mexico you will most likely do the same things...relax on the beach, swim in the ocean, eat, drink and site see.  Spending more or going some where more exotic will not provide you with a "better" HM.  As long as you and your FI are having fun together that is all that matters.

When my H and I got married we initially wanted to go to Hawaii.  But then we bought a house and our HM budget decreased significantly so we went to Key West instead.  We had an incredible time.  I am sure people thought that our destination was "generic" but seeing as neither of us had been to Key West before it was a unique and fun experience.  Were we upset that Hawaii was out?  Sure.  But since we had never been to Hawaii before it wasn't like we knew what we may or may not have missed out on.

Enjoy the vacation you can afford now.  Plan to go on something more elaborate later.  Yeah that "trip of a lifetime" may never happen but you can't live in that mindset.  You need to live in the here and now.  Do what you guys want but don't put so much pressure on a vacation becasue if you do, no matter where you go or how much you spend, you will most likely be disappointed and let down because you built it up to be a much bigger deal then it is.

hz80408

Agreed; HM is not a once in a lifetime trip; sure it may be your first trip together in your married life; but that's really all it is.

We HMed at Secrets Maroma Beach in 2010 and since that we've been to Amsterdam, Paris, Barcelona, London in one trip and Ireland in another. You have your entire life to travel!

That said, one of the girls in my book club what to Secrets Haut. when it first opened and love it! Congrats!

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_settling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:83178953-3ca3-498e-a8a0-3857e731885fPost:24f74ade-b0ef-41e3-b562-59602283a595">Re:Settling???</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that suggesting the poster has the rest of her life to travel is poor advice. You don't know what time will bring. Health, financial and family situations could arise at any point, and travel can become impractical or impossible. Or, you or your spouse may not live to retirement or your twilight years. I'm not saying you need to put yourself in debt for this vacation or any other. You should do what you want to do. But, for many 'some day I will' often turns many years later into 'I wish I would have...'
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

<div>I understand that she may not have the rest of her life due to life things coming up.  Of course it happens.  But I also think she should take a trip she's happy with, and telling her it's "generic" might make her suddenly feel like she has to throw together something more elaborate.  If she wants elaborate, then she should do elaborate, but that's not what it sounds like she wants.  She wants a beach, an AI, and a cocktail.  There's no reason in the world why she shouldn't take that vacation if that's what she wants to do.</div><div>
</div><div>I tell posters they have the rest of their lives to travel, because too often they stretch themselves thin trying to make that vacation of a lifetime work for the honeymoon.  Sure, things in life happen.  But in general, most people do have more time and money as they get older.  I think it's very similar to guys who go into jewelry stores to buy an engagement ring, and the jeweler convinces them that the size of the ring = the amount of love they have for their FI-to-be.  Really, a 20-something or 30-something probably has less money to burn on a diamond than a 40-something or 50-something.  Just how a 20-something or 30-something probably has less money and less time to burn on a vacation than a 40-something or 50-something.  I'm talking in generics here.  </div><div>
</div><div>Like PPs said, it's just a vacation.  And it just so happens to come in one of those years in life that tend to be really tight financially and really exhausting.  OP can find a great beach vacation and save a couple thousand dollars on her budget - and just think: she could use that money to put toward a house, complete her registry, or invest it (now there's a novel idea). Being critical of a honeymoon choice because it's something a lot of people do only perpetuates the wedding industry's motto of spend spend spend to do something "unique" for "your big day."  And I just don't think couples need to feel pressured to take that crazy amazing vacation when it's going to eat up most of their budget and be yet another thing to plan in the midst of all the other wedding plans taking place.</div>

alithebride

honestly you need to price it out. visit a TA and ask what's available for you for your budget. then research and book accordingly.

winelover123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_settling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:83178953-3ca3-498e-a8a0-3857e731885fPost:25b28f7b-a1c9-40a4-970d-08186667e77a">Re: Settling???</a>:
[QUOTE]I think if you're fine with it, then go for it.  But personally, I think Mexico and the Caribbean are just so... generic.  A $5,000 budget is really pretty flexible, and I think you could definitely think outside the box a little more with that amount.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

We were considering the Caribbean because we could afford something more uxorious there than in Europe. Then my parents offered to let us use their timeshare, so suddenly Hawaii was on the table. I always thought Hawaii was a generic place for a HM and didn't want to go there, but once I started planning it, I'm really excited to go! There's nothing wrong with being in the box - there's a reason why certain destinations are popular.

OP - I think once you start planning your HM, you'll discover all the awesome things there are to do wherever you pick and the whole idea of "settling" will disappear.

Jells2dot0

I really feel that there is no such thing as generic. Maybe you see a lot of girls on here going to the Caribbean, but maybe most of those girls on are the East Coast or Midwest, so it's easier to get to. A lot fewer West Coasters make their way there, so the Caribbean may be something different for someone who lives in Idaho. In my case, I rarely go to the Caribbean from Phoenix because I don't really like the idea of flying overnight to get there. However, i went there a few times when I was living in Maryland. Maybe someone on here has been to Cancun ten times because their parents took them there every year using their timeshare, so they think Cancun is "been there, done that". Maybe another person has also been there ten times, but they love it so much, they can't imagine going anywhere else. My point is that you can't just call something generic because you think it's generic. It's a personal opinion, and like a$$holes, everyone has one, but it doesn't mean one opinion is right and the other is wrong. Even my post is an opinion. The one thing that is fact, though, is that a given couple has money or a budget and if that person picks something that costs more than than they have in savings or than they make, then they will go into debt. If you don't want to go into debt, you stick to a budget. And when sticking to a budget, you may not be able to go where you dream of going, but you can still go somewhere and wherever you go, it's what you make of it.

dalm0m

DH & I have had so many better vacations than our HM both before & after we got married.  I was exhausted.  It rained.  I got sick.  We almost missed our flight home.  The flight home had the worst turbulence EVER.  I honetly thought we were going to die & so did most of the other people on that plane.  

Heck, we went on practically the same tour as our HM 4 years later & it was so much better. 

Don't buy into the hype that this is the be all end all trip.  Just enjoy each other. 

jemmini6

I don't see a HM as a 'once in a lifetime trip' kinda thing either.  We went to Cabo for our HM because we had a timeshare available to use (which was at an absolutely incredible resort), so that's where we went.  We paid for our wedding and our HM ourselves, so even though it would have been cool to go on some extravagent trip, it wasn't very practical for our HM.  Besides, we stayed in our room a lot, if you know what I mean, so I'm glad we didn't go to some awesome destination where I wanted to do a lot of sightseeing ;-P   

Now that we've been married a while and have saved a bit, we are going on a big trip this summer...two weeks in Italy!  While I'm thrilled to be going to Europe, I was not at all disappointed with my HM in Cabo.

libby2483

I'm glad that my H and I took a "generic" honeymoon.  I've been fortunate enough to travel to some awesome places in my lifetime: England, Scotland, Hong Kong, Vietnam.  These vacations were awesome, but for our honeymoon, we just wanted somewhere where we could relax in a pool or lie on the beach.  I didn't want to have to plan an itinerary or schedule sightseeing tours or purchase museum tickets, etc.  For us, it didn't really make sense to spend a lot of money traveling somewhere really outside of the box, as several "generic" Caribbean locations had exactly what we were looking for.  I'm glad that we went somewhere that fit our vision of what we wanted while still staying in our budget.

Knottie_22382251

I'm another one who "settled" for a cliche Western Caribbean Cruise, and was glad I did. I originally wanted to go to New Zealand because it is someplace we've talked about going forever and I thought it would be more unique, special to us, and more likely a trip of a lifetime. But, with planning a wedding, and renovating our new fixer upper home all in five months, suddenly booking a cruise that was all planned out for us, other than selecting excursions, seemed very appealing. We typically travel by cramming a whole bunch of adventure into each and every day to make the most of our trips, so taking a cruise was definitely a different way of travelling for us, and it was perfect for our honeymoon. It allowed us to relax, do absolutely nothing but soak up the sun in the middle of winter, and spend quality time hanging out, just the two of us, without the guilt of feeling like we spent all this money to get us to a far away place we should be out exploring every minute of the day. Because we stayed within budget, we could do the ocassional splurge of extra fancy dinners, bottles of wine and champagne, and spa treatments- things we wouldn't normally treat ourselves too, which made it extra special and out of the ordinary for us. Some of my most romantic memories are of us walking the deck in the evenings, arm in arm, feeling the warm wind, and watching the water rush by our boat. We could have been anwhere, really.

Knottie_22382251

Also, my research on New Zealand was that it was going to cost us at least $4000 in plane tickets alone, so didn't leave much room for doing much else. I don't think it is realistic for a $5000 budget in peak season.

allychase

Just FYI my FI and I spent 10 days in Aruba last October for 3500 total including hotel and airfare for the both of us. Another 1000 in food, and still below your budget. We booked through orbitz. 

Another heads up, if you're travelling in January, some northern parts of the carribbean may not be THAT warm or tropical. My trip to the cayman islands two Decembers ago was ruined by cold and overcast weather and all of our photos include us wearing the hoodie we wore to the airport. We got ONE beach day. FI sister planned the trip and told us we were going to Aruba, come to find out Aruba was sold out cause she waited too long so she signed us up to the cayman islands instead. I was paying my way to this trip-she just covered the cost up front. Needless to say I spent that week dreaming about what my week in Aruba would've been like down south closer to the equator and warmer weather. 

anssett

Heh. People are so opinionated (myself included). 

Stop caring what other people think. Do what will make you and FI happy! Do the things you like to do, in a place you'll enjoy, within your budget. It's pretty simple. 

I am incapable of enjoying time on a beach beyond a day or two, so we are planning a mix of city things, beach things, SCUBA time, hiking through the jungle (where there are MONKEYS), riding on river boats, etc. For ~4K total we have a 3 WEEK trip planned to Colombia and Venezuela. That's PERFECT for us. It would probably be miserable for many of you. Who cares. I'm not marrying you!

I strongly believe in taking as many awesome trips as you can afford and getting all the experiences you can, all the time! I don't want to wait until I'm retired to see the world. I want to let it shape who I am throughout my life. Same with being involved in my community. I'd rather experience the world than have more electronic toys or a fancier car, but those are just me (and FIs) values.