July 2012 Weddings

Anyone else lose "friends" during the wedding planning process :(

They say weddings and funerals show you your true friends. I'm not going to go into a lot of details but bottom line is that people we thought were our friends completely blew us off for our wedding. 2 of FI friends did not RSVP but verbally said, "yeah we will be there" 1 week ago...we found out that they are out of the country visiting family. We found out from a mutual friend when they left and trust me, they knew they weren't going to come to our wedding but they didn't have the courteousy to be honest and respect our headcount.

FI said he doesn't want anything else to do with them, (this is not the first offense)...

Anyone else letting go of a friendship?

Wedding date July 7, 2012

Re: Anyone else lose "friends" during the wedding planning process :(

  • Absolutely...weddings really can bring at the WORST in people.
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  • edited July 2012
    Yep, we're in the midst of losing the BM...we just lost his wife, so I'm pretty sure we'll lose the BM...it sucks...we miss him A LOT!

    other than that, we've been peachy...
  • We lost my fiance's best man, who was both mine and my fiance's best friend... And my maid of honor and I have gotten really distant lately...
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  • No one super close (in the WP), but there was a college friend of FI's that completely let us down. He didn't RSVP, so FI called him and left a long, nice VM, then tried email and FB a week later... nothing. He was going to call again, and I told him to just forget it and move on.
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  • Two of FI's siblings have disgusted me, and I've never even met them. One was angry that she didn't get a guest (she is single and we did not give guests to any truly singles). She RSVP'd no. To her brothers wedding. I get if we forgot a boyfriend but shes single. Come one. Luckily FMIL talked some sense into her and shes coming. Fi's brother on the other hand, is refusing to come because we did not include his 20 year old son. Apparently this 20 year old can not be left home alone. The wedding is 21 plus and I could not make exceptions for him when my family left their 20 year olds home. So he and his wife aren't coming. Guess his brother doesn't matter to him at all.

    image 180 invited image 145 are ready to party image 35 are missing out image 0! can't find the mailbox rsvp's due back June 20th! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My MOH was my best friend for 14 years and she won't even mention the fact I'm getting married. Jealously is her issue. She is married to my brother which makes it even worse cause my bro and I are super close. It does show what people's true colors are. I am so sorry you're going through this. Keep your head high. I have come to realize that no matter what someone does at my wedding, at the end of the day I'm still gonna be married. That's what we are there for anyway, right? How they act is going to reflect on them. They have to live with what they do.

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  • FI's BM has shown his true colors lately... he really hasn't been a good friend, both with and outside of wedding planning.  Other than a few relatives being rude/lazy and never bothering to send back the RSVPs, we've been pretty lucky.  We expected a couple of flakes, anyway.. that's just how some people are.

    My girls have really shown me how much they care about me through this whole process, even if they don't get along with each other haha.
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  • I wouldn't say I have lost any friends, but my law school friends and a few of my childhood friends have been A M A Z I N Gly supportive throughout the whole process (as my family and fiance's family has been as well), while my group of college girlfriends has ditched both my shower and my bachelorette party. I am trying not to let it bother me, but it's tough, especially since one of the ditchers is a bridesmaids. I am just trying to be appreciate and thankful for all the great and supportive people that I do have in my life, but it's definitely rough to realize how little your events mean to others - especially since I made multiple trips all over the midwest to attend showers and bachelorette parties for the girls who ditched mine. sigh.
  • if you would have asked me a couple months ago, i would have said unfortunately yes...
    now, with the wedding a few month away, i can actually say NO!  I came to a different understanding about the entire process.  We are having a smaller wedding under 50 people, and those who will be coming, are going above and beyond any of my expectations!  even though i try to refuse any help, they are always there (just a call or email away).  I actually learned how many great and true friends I have! 
    for those who are dropping out, well i guess that chapter of my life book has ended. 
    time to move on to a new one!
  • Yet to be determined for us...just got text from FSIL over the weekend saying her son now has a baseball tournament the weekend of our wedding so depending on how his games are going he & FBIL may not be at the wedding "but hopefully they can be there for some of it". This is FI's brother, his only brother. I get that this is a 2nd wedding for both of us but come on, really?! They've complained to us all summer that their son sits on the bench every game and hardly plays. But yet he HAS to be there. So we'll see what happens the day of. FSIL and her 2 other kids are still planning on coming though. I thought that was odd - why doesn't she go to the game and FI's brother can be at the wedding??

    My BFF (kind of MOH...I'm having attendents) and I are having a falling out of sorts. I'm ok with it though; we're on 2 different life paths right now and I don't need that drama in my life.
  • My friends have been so amazing. But my step dad's (who I consider my real real dad) family all rsvpd no. Even his parents and his sister. I know it's probably because my mom and him are now divorced but he's walking me down the aisle and everything and it really stung. 

    My FI is from Colorado and the wedding is here so he was really understanding of people on his side rsvping no. 
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  • Nati05Nati05 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Yeah I know how you feel! My maybeMOH who took our 2 year engagement serious 4 months before the wedding. Though she's been trying to keep in contact with me and improve our relationship. But it's hard, and I don't know if I can completely get over it. Her family is like family to us though we're not actually related. I sent all of them an invitation, the mom made a real effort to come which was appreciated. The brother and sister I hoped could make it but doubted they'd be able to. Well apparently I was wrong. Both of them left on a 2 week vacation to Dominican Republic. Something tells me this wasn't planned 2 years ago either before they knew about my wedding. They never RSVPd or spoke of the wedding at all. Finding out about that trip really hurt my feelings.
  • Oh YES! I had to dis invite one of my cousins. It was an awful situation but I was left with no choice.
    I hatee how things played out but again, I had no choice. It sucks but too much drama. I had to get rid of the drama.

    191 Invited image 164 Are ready to party!! image 27 Are missing out image 0 Are making me wait imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • Yes
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  • Yes, I lost my MOH 3 weeks ago
    Wedding Countdown Ticker "Don't marry the person you can live with, marry the person you can't live without."
  • Yup!! I had a bm drop out 3 months ago. She would always have some excuse why she couldn't help with anything. Everything from no sitter to a church dinner. She has never gone to church and I found out later that it was a get together with some of her friends on a sunday. When I asked when it would work to get her dress fitted ( we purchased them online) she gave me the run around. I was hurt and upset. Finally she told me she didnt think she could be the kind of bm I need. Come to find out she had never tried on her dress and has planned to go on vacation starting the weekend of my wedding.

    Now to top it off, my Fis son,who is also a gm, said he can't make it to the wedding because of work. He works at freaking Dominos. His dad is mad and I am hurt. I don't get it.

    Remember girls, it's your day! Cest la vive!!
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