Code 235 will be activated at our wedding!

aondera

Alright Knottie girls!

I actually typed out this big huge long story a few days ago, but apparently had some bad language in it, so it wouldn't post.  I went over and over it to try and figure out what I had "said" wrong, but couldn't figure it out.

So, grab a seat and read my story:

About 2 weeks ago, my MOH (we'll call her Kelly) posted a pic of herself on FB in a cowboy hat. Her caption said something like "cowboy up".  Behind her, there was a little old lady.  It looked like she was at a bar.

So, me, being the smartypants that I am, got on and said "what are you doing, partying like a rock star with the little old granny sitting behind you?!"

Her response back:  "I'm with that little old granny".

I was confused.  

Then, her friend, "Joy" gets on and comments "yeah, Ashley.  That  little old granny is my mom.  ROTFLMAO".

Now I feel like an arse.  

Here's the back story:  Joy's mom is homeless.  Joy came down from Maryland to visit Kelly so that she could go into Orlando and search for her mom to make sure she was still alive.

So, yeah.  Now I feel horrible.  I poked fun at Joy's mom.  (I have never met Joy, but she is my FB friend, since she is friends with Kelly)

Not long after Joy's comment, Kelly calls me.  Now, I'm feeling bad for what I said, and I was at work.  It was late at night, and we were finishing up at work, so I opted to not answer the phone, and just call Kelly on my way home.  That way I could apologize.

Kelly leaves a VM.  It went something along the lines of:  "Hey Ashley.  You probably don't know who this is (it was Joy), but I just wanted to let you know that I saw you talking sheet about my mom on FB."

COMPLETELY SERIOUS- NO SARCASM, GIGGLES OR ANTHING.

I am SO glad I didn't answer the phone.  Who knows WHAT I would have said or what would have happened.

I don't call back.  The next day, I am out shopping with my sister and mom.  Kelly calls me.  I, again, don't answer the phone.  I am now p!$$ed that the VM was left like that.  Also, Kelly has said a lot of very not-so-nice things about my sister to me.  

(just an FYI- my sister went through a rough patch not too long ago because I wasn't happy with the way she was treating our dad. We have worked out that problem, and now are as close as sisters can be)

So, Kelly starts to text me..

-Are you mad at us?

-Are you okay?

-Are you alive?

-Do I need to call 911?

After I got the "Do I need to call 911" text, I was getting frustrated.  It was getting a little childish.  So, I sent her a text back- "Very busy.  I'll talk to you later."

Fast forward to last Thursday.

At this point, I have still not called Kelly.  Not  that I am angry at the whole situation about Joy's mom, but just because I have been busy.  We are setting up a lab at the Space Center, I've been very involved with shuttle launches, and I work long hours.

Kelly DID send me a FB wall post and said "Joy and I thought that what you said about her mom was hilarious".  Okay, great, fine.  So, they weren't really mad.  The phone call was supposed to be funny.

So, last Thursday-

I check my FB on my way to work every morning, and usually post something about heading to work.  Well, as I am checking, I see that Kelly has posted as her status:  "very busy.  I'll talk to you later?"

Now I'm p!$$ed!!

So, I "comment"-  If it is upsetting you that much, maybe you need to call me.

I drive to work.  Fuming.  I start thinking of all these little Kelly things lately that have been frustrating me.  The comments about my sister, Bach party details, etc. (I won't go into those details or else you'd be reading FOREVER)

So, when I get to work, I post again:  "On second thought, please wait a while to call me.  I need some time to cool off."  Basically, I needed to figure out what I wanted.  Did I really want Kelly as my MOH, or in the wedding at all?

She had also responded, telling me she had tried calling me for three days!  So, I looked at my call log (gotta love the iPhone).   The last time she called me was the day that I was out with my mom and sister.

P!$$ed again.

So, then, she comments, asking what the h-e-l-l I need to cool off about, immediately followed by a comment that said "you know what, find yourself a new maid of honor"

ON FREAKING FACEBOOK!

So, I comment back, and said "real f**king mature, Kelly.  Good job."

To which she responds"  "Deal with it."

She immediately "unfriended me", and the last thing I got from her was a text.  The text said that if I wanted my sister as my MOH, then why didn't I just say something (uh- NOTHING like that was ever said to her).

Also, in the text, she said that I had no reason to "Sheet on her". How I did this, I have no clue.  I paid over $1000 to go to Vegas for a wedding that she never had, I spent almost $400 to throw her a bridal shower for a wedding that she never had, and then I spent money to get my notary license so that I could marry them IN A GOSH DARN BIKER BAR!!!

So, who sheet on who?!  The very last line of the text said that I need to remember who I went to crying when my sister had me so upset.

So, she is no long my friend, I guess.

I am glad that she showed her true self to me NOW instead of weeks before the wedding..

So, I will be having the Code 235 on back up for our wedding.  Don't want Kelly showing up to try and ruin things, which, I really worry she just might try.

(sorry so long. It was a long story)

aondera

holy moly.  It's REALLY long 

cjbwifey2010

Wow....what a B*(&)!

I dont even know what to say! is it worth talking to her? At this point i dont think...what kind of comment was that?! I guess she was pissed at the fact that you never called her back...but it still shouldn't have ended in her talking about you finding your own MOH! Wow... can't believe that!

I guess like you said it's better for her to show her true colors now than later!

So sorry you're going through this! *hugs*

aondera

I love you just for reading it all!  It's a stinking novel!

I have left it as what it is.  I did not respond to the text she sent, and will leave it at that.  I do feel like I should have picked up the phone and called her, especially after the start of our FB convo. But, as soon as she pulled the "find yourself a new MOH" and the "Deal with it" comment, I was just like, forget about it!  

I have so many other friends and family that are here to support me and not be a beyotch and try and ruin one of the most important days of my life!!!

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

aondera

britt-  I plan on giving all of my vendors her pic, that way if she does decide to show up, she can be escorted out of the reception.

Plus, a lot of my co-workers know the situation, and are now telling me their true feelings about her, and how they were afraid something like this was going to happen.

So, they will make sure she stays away too.

Its a crappy situation, but it's all for the best.

I forgot to mention that my sister is the MOH now, and she couldn't be happier!  She should have been the one to have that title to begin with , but at the time, we were not at a good point, and she has two kids, no job (she's going to school) and her husband is the only one working (at Publix). So, I didn't want her stressing over money issues in the things that being a MOH entails.  But, with this situation, family is stepping up to help her so that she can do what she wants to plan stuff and help out.

ericak926

Oh Magic Ashley ...=(

So here is my input ... I think you could of responded faster with a text, a FB private message or a phone call. You should of nipped it in the butt right away BUT being that she acted like a totally fooking douche, so fook her and the horse she rode in on. Really fooking classy. I'm just totally shocked at how "friends" can be so quick to end a friendship like that. I totally feel ya with the feeling like a doormat thing but you can honestly spend all day shoulda, woulda, coulda-ing and still end up with the same conclusion. Two wrongs don't make a right. I'm really pissed off for you. ARG! Stupid freakin hobag.

Today our theme song will be ... "That's What Friends Are For" and "Another One Bites The Dust"

We LOVE you Magic Ash!

ericak926

Side note: I got all my cursing it that last one! AHA HA HA!  Holy Sheet!

MCO100

Ditto what Erica said! (including all of the curse words) haha

aondera

I seriously had no idea that it was going to go in the direction that it had gone in.

I was pissed when I saw that she was choosing to approach the situation by doing it on FB.  She was upset that I hadn't called her.  I get that.  But, she could have sent me a text, phone call, email, something.  It was a spur of the moment thing when I FB'd her back.

I look back and I know that it was not the right way to approach things. But, it is what it is.  

When this all happened that day, the theme song was "True Colors"

Dude! I wonder if she does show up, if I can get Jay to play something like "another one bites the dust" or "thats what friends are for" as she's escorted out of the wedding...

Great job on the use of curse words, Erika :-)

And, I totally hadn't thought about it, but my "Twitter" name is MagicAshley. 

Cool, huh?

Pretty Parula

Erica is right on the money about all of this. That chick blew things way out of proportion, especially when you two didn't even get a chance to talk things through. That is not what a friend would do. She's FIRED!

I think Jay would TOTALLY back you up with the theme song!!

x3Harmony534

K, so I'm really confused how absolutely NOTHING turned into such a huge deal. *shakes head* People can be really REALLY stupid. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that! At least you know NOW before she's in every single one of your wedding photos & memories and you can't stand her. Ew. What a prick.

therockisblinding05

holy cow! that totally got blown out of proportion! You sooo don't need that! code 235 is def. in effect

brit21489

WOW!!! Like you said, it might not have been the right way to approach things, but she started it with the initial FB post. That is ridiculous!! I can't believe someone would act so childish! She obviously wouldn't have lasted until the big day if it took this small of an incident for her to completely crap on you and back out of the position. You are way better off without her and you will have a much better time because this happened now. But wow she is a bitch!

AileeneG

Wow.  I dislike it when people don't call me back, but that's just ridiculous to react that way. And it's childish to drop out of your wedding on FB in public!

SRivera09

Wow!   What BS.  And really mature to post that kind of stuff on FB.  But it's better that all this happened b4 the wedding.  How pissed would you be this happended after the wedding and she was all up in your photos?!?!   Sorry all this is happening

mruiz0128

I agree with everything Erica says! You really do find out people's true colors when it comes to a wedding

aondera

DUDE!  You gals are seriously awesome for reading all of that!

Thanks so much!  I really needed to vent and I knew you girls would be the ones to listen.  When it all happened, FI literally said to me, "Forget the biatch". And now, if anything is mentioned about "Kelly", then he's like- "who's Kelly?"

ashbosity

So sorry it all went down like that, but your sister is probably the best choice for MOH in the end. Good luck with everything. Man, I hope I don't need Knottie Security at my wedding! You girls can be scary! :P

erin72682

Oh mah gawd ... das craaaazy.  I feel like I have so many questions, so confusing how it went from you making a slightly embarrassing "mama" joke to "fine then, get a new MOH."  First off, that's pretty terrible luck with the whole granny/mama mixup ... almost to an unbelievable extent.  I mean, homeless?  Did she really have to be homeless?  Talk about adding insult to injury!!  But still ... a completely honest mistake. 

So what's she so mad about?  I feel like the only thing you could have done differently would have been to immediately call and be like "so sorry! my bad!" and deleted the comment.  But I wonder if that even would have made a difference.  I just can't figure out what set her off ... I mean maybe she thought you were avoiding her and that annoyed her.  Which by the way, I think an avoidance strategy is completely understandable after the aforementioned granny/mama mixup.  But even if that were the case ... it still doesn't explain the level that it escalated to.  I mean, I can't even imagine a scenario where I would tell my best friend (who chose me to be her MOH over her own sister!) that I was de-friending her (literally) over Facebook.  Absolute insanity.  Makes me think there is something way bigger bothering her than not hearing from you for a few days.  But honestly ... who gives a flying F?!  Peace out biatch.  Now you and your sister can get back to reconnecting and you can get back to enjoying your wedding.  

Good story though!  Hope everything works out

MrsWhitneyAmanda

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-central-florida_code-235-will-activated-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:66Discussion:227894b2-96c4-41c0-9ca1-cacaf85fa6f4Post:23739241-8c6b-4d68-9c20-6ad0dbcc96fb">Re: Code 235 will be activated at our wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE] First off, that's pretty terrible luck with the whole granny/mama mixup ... almost to an unbelievable extent.  I mean, homeless?  Did she really have to be homeless?  Talk about adding insult to injury!!  But still ... a completely honest mistake.  So what's she so mad about? [/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'd just like to point out that, while an unfortunate mistake, it is very viable. I'm 25 and my mama has been a granny for 14 years now - not through me, through my step sister but still. Granny does not mean ancient or haggard. Particularly if you actually used the term 'granny'. I think 'granny' is a term of endearment :)</div><div>
<div>[QUOTE] I mean, I can't even imagine a scenario where I would tell my best friend (who chose me to be her MOH over her own sister!) that I was de-friending her (literally) over Facebook.  Absolute insanity.  Makes me think there is something way bigger bothering her than not hearing from you for a few days.  [/QUOTE]</div><div>
</div><div>I totally agree with this. A simple misunderstanding, for normal, sane people, would not lead to the termination of a best-friendship. I would place large sums of money on there being A LOT more going on than she's letting you in on.

</div></div>

vedika

OMG Ashley! I can't believe you would talk about me like that! You could have come up with a less obvious name! )))

Dragonfly6191

Holy cow, that is SUCH BS!

I'm soooo sorry you had to deal with all this, like eveyone has said, weddings really do bring out people's true colors! I'm glad though that you were able to handle it NOW instead of right before the wedding....or even right after. It would suck to have her in all your pictures and think later that you had the totally wrong MOH!!

Side note: I know not everyone has a great relationship with their mom, but really, who lets their mom go homeless? I can't imagine not taking my mom in if she needed a place to stay no matter the situation!