Mom and Dad are taking over...

krcardin

Hey everyone,

My fiance are getting married a year and a half from now, and we were really hoping to just enjoy being engaged before jumping right into wedding planning...But my parents have already begun insisting that we book a reception venue and pick a date for everything ASAP. They keep saying that everywhere is going to be completely booked unless we get something right now. This is starting to drive me nuts. I can't talk to my mom without her talking about wedding plans and booking a venue... I don't want to stress out about my wedding, and I don't feel ready to set the permanent venue and everything yet. Am i being too idealistic?--be honest. (Maybe there really isn't much time left to book?) If not, does anyone know how to tactfully and politely get their parents to cool it? I love them to death, don't get me wrong... It's just that nothing gets through to them!!

jmucheech21

I would say things are starting to book now for a year and a half out, but if you're not very picky on a date, I'd say you're probably fine.  A year in a half now is November 2011 (popular wedding month) so, if you are deadset on a Saturday you may want to start looking.  If you could go for a Friday night or Sunday and be just as happy, then just enjoy your engagement!  If you are laid back about exactly when, then I think you have time to just relax and enjoy!!!

Congrats on your engagement!!!!  

stardust21587

We were engaged for 2 years before we even thought about planning a wedding. haha. =P We are getting married in September and booked our venue around...December or so...so, 9 months prior. If its a popular site, then it will book up fast...so maybe start "browsing" and seeing what you all like, and think about the time of year you would like to have the wedding...small ideas like that first that you can tell your mom/dad "hey, we're taking it slow, trying to find what fits us, personally." Its YOUR day, dont forget that!! =D If you explain to them that it can tend to be a stressful time, trying to please everyone then maybe they'll understand and let you do your thing. Best of luck!! AND CONGRATS!!!

aondera

First off, congrats on the engagement!

And, I really think that this is not too far out for booking a venue.  We are getting married in July- and we booked out original venue almost 14 months in advance.  And, when we did, a few of the dates we were considering were already booked!

And seriously- I didn't find venue searching, or vendor searching to be very difficult.  I have the BEST team of vendors, and have had them all for over a year now (slowly added on a few here and there).

It's your big day- I just advise that if you guys have a specific date in mind, start researching now.  That way you get what you love and don't have to settle for something else.

Pretty Parula

I'm going to offer the flip-side of this coin. FI and I didn't find a venue we were happy with until about 6 months prior to the wedding. We were flexible on dates (except that I was hell-bent on having an even number date) and day of the week, which allowed us to find a kickass venue during one of the more popular months for getting married. (We got married on Good Friday, April 2.) 

My advice is to let your mom think you're going along with her wishes, but be leisurely in your search. Don't feel like you have to have venue-hunting marathons with her. Sure, start scouting places you like, and come up with a list of places you would like to see in person. But maybe go see one or two per week, not all of them in one weekend. You'll still get it done. And I see nothing wrong with telling your mom that you'd like to talk with her about regular life, not just wedding stuff.

irisheyezfsu

I am sorry they are being pushy but for Central Florida venues many start booking 18 months in advance.  Really once you are able to book a venue and possible a caterer (yay tasting food is always fun!)  then you can slow down some on the wedding planning.  It is really nice your parents are so excited about all the planning, lucky in that regard. Enjoy being engaged and wedding planning can be fun. The girls on here are wonderful for vender reviews and suggestions. 

therockisblinding05

I agree w/ all the previous posts but keep in mind your parents might just be getting excited about all this wedding stuff, esp. if you are the first of your siblings to get married and their "pushing" all the planning is just the outlet for this excitement. My dad wouldn't leave me alone about the wedding for a while after we got engaged; it was just his way to express his excitement. Let them feel like you are planning- search some venues and talk to mom, but tell her you want to take things slow. 

ashbosity

It really depends on when you are planning on getting married. April, May, October, November are the most popular I was told by a caterer. Being flexible on your date, as others said, will help too. FI and I didn't officially set our date until we booked our venue. You could start looking and researching and have a place chosen by the year mark. Contrary to what the other ladies said, several venues we were considering wouldn't let you book more than a year out. After you book the venue, everything else can wait a little. So I'd say, get that done and then you can chill a little more.

krcardin

Thank you everyone for the input and advice! I think now my plan is going to be to get back home (where the wedding will be) and bring my FI to look at the two top contenders. Hopefully then we can make a decision!

I didn't realize that November is one of the most popular wedding months--that explains why one of our favorites already has a lot of bookings for Nov. of 2011.

And, hopefully I can tactfully tell my mom that I'd like to talk about things other than wedding stuff with her from time to time. It's true, I am the first sibling to get married, and it's been a long time since we had a wedding in the family, so they're just excited, I guess.

Thank you for the perspective, ladies!!

brit21489

What are your top choices, Katie? And if you check this before fb, you have a message. 

Britt1406

Like PP, if you have your heart set on a specific date, you may want to start looking. If you're more flexible, then you have time. Some places I found wouldn't even take reservations earlier than 12 months out.

If you really feel they're being pushy, just say thank you for the help but you want to wait a few months before you start planning and then you'll talk to them about it. Hopefully they'll understand.