Self conscious

roxirose

I am really self conscious about my body. I am very overweight and have tried to do a lot of things to lose weight but I am not really successful with any of my attempts. I know he likes me the way I am and thinks that I am the most beautiful girl on earth, but it doesn't stop me from worrying that how I look will put a damper on the wedding night...

Have you guys ever felt that way?

MrsGandthebeag

Dude, you're 17, of course you're self conscious.  Everyone is at that age.  

HobokensFury

This is another reason why you should wait to get married.  Give yourself time to grow up and have some more life experiences.

alithebride

diet and exercise (unless you have some medical issue as to why you can't lose weight) and self-dicipline are the answer.

otherwise, at 17, i dont know anyone who isn't like you.

why on earth would you get married at 17? imo-there's mroe to worry about here than your weight.

MyCousinVinny

I'm 32 and still self-conscious about my body.  For me, I don't believe it is something that I will ever be completely satisfied with, especially after having a baby.  

But what helps me to handle it better is knowing that DH loves me for who I am and has known what I look like for a long time before we got married.  You just have to believe that you are a beautiful person, inside and out!  No one is perfect, NO ONE.  

However, if you are looking for ways to make it a little more comfortable for yourself, here are some tricks.  1) Regular lighting can be very harsh so light some candles and turn off the lights.  Plus, it enhances the mood.  2) Buy some lingerie that makes you feel beautiful.  3)  Just have some fun!  

Alot of women deal with insecurities about their bodies so please don't feel like you're alone.  Also, I know it's hard but diet and exercise are key when it comes to losing weight.  Don't go for the fad diets.  Just try to eat healthier and incorporate more exercise when you can.  Consistency and the right attitude are key...good luck!!

anssett

At 17 I was pretty self concious. At 32 I'm not. I'm smokin' hot and am curvalicious. I'm still technically 'overweight' (in fact more than at 17) but I have learned to love my body. I treat it well by using it (exercise, play) feeding it mostly healthy food (splurging sometimes because chocolate is TASTY), and honestly growing up as a person. If you're going to be a virgin on your wedding night and you're still super self concious, use the tips PPs have suggested (mood lighting, lingere that partly covers you) and BE PATIENT with yourself. Don't expect it to be like in the movies. Sex is messy and complicated and has a lot of moving parts. You will probably suck at it the first MANY times. That's ok if you're enjoying the learning curve with someone you care about who is kind to you. Also, if he's also a virgin, the LAST THING IN THE WORLD he's worrying about is whether you're overweight or not. He's SO EXCITED to see a naked woman in person he won't notice anything 'wrong' with you. You'll be breathtaking and magical (which you technically are but can't see yet). 

hoffse

Yeah if your wedding night is your first time, it's going to be awkward, uncomfortable, and most likely non-enjoyable.  Not to rain on your parade but very little about sex is magical until you get some practice and are familiar with your partner.  And if he's a virgin too, it's not likely to last long.

If you are 17 then yes you are going to be self-conscious regardless.  Teenagers are in the psychological phase where they are absorbed with their self image and think everybody else is also.  Somewhere in your 20's you'll realize that if you were so absorbed, everybody else was also, and nobody paid any attention to you and your flaws.  It's rather freeing, and personally I suggest waiting to get married until after that realization.  It's one of the hallmarks of growing up - literally, it's a psychological landmark.

Teenagers never ever believe that they aren't adults.  But once you do reach adulthood you'll look back and realize how ridiculous you were to think you knew it all and were prepared for truly adult experiences back then.  Because newsflash: being an adult is a lot less about being in love and a lot more about being able to negotiate, compromise, forgive, and accept the flaws and issues with your partner and the bumps they inevitbly bring into your life.

I met my fiance at 18, and we broke up twice before I graduated from college.  After graduation we both grew up - I went to law school, he started a job, and we've been together for going on 4 years without contemplating ending our relationship.  Previously we never lasted an entire year before it was over.  If it was meant to be, you will marry him regardless of whether it's now or in the future when you know yourself a lot better.

allychase

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_self-conscious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:ae1cacb1-63a3-4ed5-b854-d3b5e7d6ed27Post:135c2789-a0f6-4187-a09c-3d8ddcb17fb3">Re: Self conscious</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah if your wedding night is your first time, it's going to be awkward, uncomfortable, and most likely non-enjoyable.  Not to rain on your parade but very little about sex is magical until you get some practice and are familiar with your partner.  And if he's a virgin too, it's not likely to last long. If you are 17 then yes you are going to be self-conscious regardless.  Teenagers are in the psychological phase where they are absorbed with their self image and think everybody else is also.  Somewhere in your 20's you'll realize that if you were so absorbed, everybody else was also, and nobody paid any attention to you and your flaws.  It's rather freeing, and personally I suggest waiting to get married until after that realization.  It's one of the hallmarks of growing up - literally, it's a psychological landmark. Teenagers never ever believe that they aren't adults.  But once you do reach adulthood you'll look back and realize how ridiculous you were to think you knew it all and were prepared for truly adult experiences back then.  Because newsflash: being an adult is a lot less about being in love and a lot more about being able to negotiate, compromise, forgive, and accept the flaws and issues with your partner and the bumps they inevitbly bring into your life. I met my fiance at 18, and we broke up twice before I graduated from college.  After graduation we both grew up - I went to law school, he started a job, and we've been together for going on 4 years without contemplating ending our relationship.  Previously we never lasted an entire year before it was over.  If it was meant to be, you will marry him regardless of whether it's now or in the future when you know yourself a lot better.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>But they're young and in looooooooooove and we don't understand and they don't wanna wait because she is ready to be his wife and make him happy !!!!

</div>

jenferian

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_self-conscious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:ae1cacb1-63a3-4ed5-b854-d3b5e7d6ed27Post:c0d195df-cf2d-476f-bbdc-a08e702b56ea">Re: Self conscious</a>:
[QUOTE]At 17 I was pretty self concious. At 32 I'm not. I'm smokin' hot and am curvalicious. I'm still technically 'overweight' (in fact more than at 17) but I have learned to love my body. I treat it well by using it (exercise, play) feeding it mostly healthy food (splurging sometimes because chocolate is TASTY), and honestly growing up as a person. If you're going to be a virgin on your wedding night and you're still super self concious, use the tips PPs have suggested (mood lighting, lingere that partly covers you) and BE PATIENT with yourself. Don't expect it to be like in the movies. Sex is messy and complicated and has a lot of moving parts. You will probably suck at it the first MANY times. That's ok if you're enjoying the learning curve with someone you care about who is kind to you. Also, if he's also a virgin, the LAST THING IN THE WORLD he's worrying about is whether you're overweight or not. He's SO EXCITED to see a naked woman in person he won't notice anything 'wrong' with you. You'll be breathtaking and magical (which you technically are but can't see yet). 
Posted by anssett[/QUOTE]

You pretty much said exactly what I think. Listen to her, OP :-)

Naomi Says

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_self-conscious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:ae1cacb1-63a3-4ed5-b854-d3b5e7d6ed27Post:c0d195df-cf2d-476f-bbdc-a08e702b56ea">Re: Self conscious</a>:
[QUOTE]At 17 I was pretty self concious. At 32 I'm not. I'm smokin' hot and am curvalicious. I'm still technically 'overweight' (in fact more than at 17) but I have learned to love my body. I treat it well by using it (exercise, play) feeding it mostly healthy food (splurging sometimes because chocolate is TASTY), and honestly growing up as a person. If you're going to be a virgin on your wedding night and you're still super self concious, use the tips PPs have suggested (mood lighting, lingere that partly covers you) and BE PATIENT with yourself. Don't expect it to be like in the movies. Sex is messy and complicated and has a lot of moving parts. You will probably suck at it the first MANY times. That's ok if you're enjoying the learning curve with someone you care about who is kind to you. Also, if he's also a virgin, the LAST THING IN THE WORLD he's worrying about is whether you're overweight or not. He's SO EXCITED to see a naked woman in person he won't notice anything 'wrong' with you. You'll be breathtaking and magical (which you technically are but can't see yet). 
Posted by anssett[/QUOTE]

Exactly!!  Well said!  Take her advice and just have fun!  <a href="http://www.naomisays.net" rel="nofollow">http://www.naomisays.net</a>