Vent: Maybe coming to the wedding??

frozenxthoughts

I just have to get this off my chest. I sent my wedding invitations at the beginning of October, but I have an A and B list to keep the numbers as close to 55 people as possible. The first round of invitations were due back by Nov. 1. 14 people did not return their RSVPs so I've spent the last 2 weeks tracking them down. To make matters worse, 4 of them said they "really want to come" but "they're not sure what their schedule is....so maybe" WTF? I'm in law school, stressed to no end, and this just sends me over the edge.

I need a final headcount for my venue by Dec. 15, so luckily I do have a little more time to revisit the "maybe" group before I just have to say, "No, you can't come if you're still 'maybe' coming." I just find it a little rude when it's common sense that people need final head counts. I'm only sending out 1 B list invite because I'm unsure of the "maybe" group so this ordeal has sort of thrown my whole planning process off kilt. Oh well, I learned a long time ago that you can have goals in life, but the way you get there may change a million times.

What would you do in my situation?

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Theresa626

You can't tell them they can't come after you've sent the invitations but definitely let them know that the caterer needs a final number lets say a month in advance and you need to know if they're coming so they will have enough food for everyone.  You might not be able to send out those B list invitations if you don't get any no's though.  

Theresa626

Also, if your wedding is in three months, why do they need the final headcount by Dec. 15th?  That's crazy early.  

Aero922

People did that to me.... I sent mine out the beginning of October as well with a Nov.1 deadline, and I've been calling people the past two weeks.

I called the 'maybe' people and said that I have to give my caterer a head count Friday as well as order chairs, so I need to know NOW.

That should hopefully help get you a commitment of a yes or no.

frozenxthoughts

Theresa: I have no idea why my head count is due Dec. 15, but honestly, I just don't have the time or energy to expel on fighting with my venue about it....so I've just accepted it.

You're all right. I'll just ask all the "maybe" people one more time when it gets close to December 15. I guess there's not much else I can do right? So much for my list B people.

Theresa626

If you're really set on having the B list, you could ask the venue for an extension till Jan. 15th but if you wait too long to send out the B list invitations and they know the people who got A list invites, they will become suspicious and get pissed off that they were on a B list.  It's a tricky situation.