Florida-Central Florida

confusion with wedding invitation wording

Under what circumstances should you include the bride's AND groom's parents' names on the wedding invitation?

I am designing my own, and I showed my mom the wording which included my parents' names and my fiance's parents. She said it's only supposed to be her and my father's name.

To me that seems rude. His parents aren't helping pay for the wedding, so is that what determines whose name is on the invite?

Only my parents are paying for the wedding, so does that mean only their names should appear on it?

TIA :)

Re: confusion with wedding invitation wording

  • edited December 2011
    Typically the parents who are paying for it are the names who are on the invite.  Whoever is "hosting" (ie - paying for the wedding) are the ones who names are traditionally should be listed.  I am guessing your fiance's parents probably know this already and very well may be comfortable with it.   That having been said, it seems that anything can be done as long as you guys are comfortable with it!:) 
    So if you decided both parents names are right for you guys...go with it!  Good luck!!
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  • edellisedellis member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i never mentioned this to my fiance. however, his parents live in indiana, and we are having the wedding in florida. so i guess we could assume that only my parents are hosting this event right? i just wouldnt want to shock his parents when they read the invite and do not see their names.
  • edited December 2011
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  • edited December 2011
    Hmm I replied to this early... guess it didn't take, thanks knot. lol Anyway - it is pretty standard for the family hosting the event (i.e. paying) to send out the invitations, so it will have their names as the hosts. That being said - my parents are paying for our wedding so we only put their names on the invites - and my FILs were upset by this... so it just goes to show - you can't please everyone. But my priority was with making my parents happy since they're the ones paying for it & I know they would have been upset if my FILs were listed since they are the ones paying for everything.
  • edited December 2011
    As previous posters said, per Emily Post, (my absolute favorte phrase as of late) the host(s) names go on the invitation (i.e., those who foot the bill):  http://www.emilypost.com/wedding-invitations-and-announcements/335-wording-formal-wedding-invitations.

    You could also put something like this: 

    Mr. & Mrs. [Bride's father's first name, middle and last name]
    request the honor of your presence at
    the marriage of their daughter,
    [Bride first and middle name, unless different last name from parents,then add last name]
    to
    [Groom's full name],
    Son of Mr. & Mrs. [Groom's father's first, middle, and last name]

    Then you'd clearly see who's hosting and inviting, but the groom's parents names are still on the invitation.  You might want to see if that seems like a reasonable compromise.  Since it's "custom" for the bride's parents to pay anyway, I don''t think it will look like a slight to his parents or anything.

    Hope that helps!! 




  • edited December 2011
    My parents paid for our wedding and they requested we added his parents to the invitation as a nice gesture.  I don't think his parents ever really acknowledged this to me or my parents.  If my parents had not asked for us to do that I would have probably just left it the way Emily Post suggests as posted above... it would have been a lot easier to design.  :)
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  • edellisedellis member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-central-florida_confusion-wedding-invitation-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:66Discussion:a500a279-972e-4524-9c3f-89f527ef1f02Post:a755dc1f-7afb-495d-9189-32681ef194c6">Re: confusion with wedding invitation wording</a>:
    [QUOTE]As previous posters said, per Emily Post, (my absolute favorte phrase as of late) the host(s) names go on the invitation (i.e., those who foot the bill):  <a href="http://www.emilypost.com/wedding-invitations-and-announcements/335-wording-formal-wedding-invitations" rel='nofollow'>http://www.emilypost.com/wedding-invitations-and-announcements/335-wording-formal-wedding-invitations</a>. You could also put something like this:  Mr. & Mrs. [Bride's father's first name, middle and last name] request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, [Bride first and middle name, unless different last name from parents,then add last name] to [Groom's full name], Son of Mr. & Mrs. [Groom's father's first, middle, and last name] Then you'd clearly see who's hosting and inviting, but the groom's parents names are still on the invitation.  You might want to see if that seems like a reasonable compromise.  Since it's "custom" for the bride's parents to pay anyway, I don''t think it will look like a slight to his parents or anything. Hope that helps!! 
    Posted by ajoyfulnole[/QUOTE]

    you know i actually came across something like this in my searching. i really like this ideab/c it shows who is hosting the event while acknowledging the other parents.  i dont think my FI should have any problems with this. thanks!
  • sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I didn't read all teh other PPs but its usually the brides parents names because traditional there the ones who pay for the weding. But What I did is both parents names even though FIs parents didn't help pay but I wanted them to feel included in some way since they haven't been involved in planning. Basically know a days you could do it any way you want too.
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