So I'll TRY to make this brief... but no promises, lol. FI's parents are divorced & both remarried. His step-mom is one of those go-getter planner types & I believe has already booked a huge 9 bedroom house for her whole family to stay in during the wedding weekend. She mentioned to us planning to have the rehearsal dinner there also, which 11 months out from our wedding we didn't think much of. However after talking to FI's mom about it we realized that would be a BAD idea. The two families do not get along & there's no way she would feel comfortable or show up if the rehearsal dinner was at his dad & step-mom's rented house. (Which, I wouldn't blame her for. That's a little too personal.) Both his mom & step-mom are eager to help, but it's difficult because they both live out of town. I suggested that FI just explain the situation to his dad & step-mom but he said no way, they wouldn't take it well. (Don't ask me why... I figured it's the adult thing to do, but I guess not. hah.) So we want to propose to them OUR idea for a rehearsal dinner. We were thinking about doing something sentimental (Like having it at Downtown Disney outside the restaurant he proposed at) but how can we do this without sounding demanding & ungrateful for his step-mom's offer to host the dinner? I don't want it to come across as couplezillay (like my word?) of us to say "Thanks but no thanks, your plans aren't good enough." But I guess honesty isn't an option here. Can we just plan it ourselves & then accept any financial contributions from them if they offer? Although we can't really afford it ourselves & I'm not about to ask my family to contribute anymore then they already are. *sigh* What to do... what to do?