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Muslim Weddings

Drinks or no Drinks

here is my dilemma....im Muslim been on all my life...im not traditional at all...but there r some thing Islamicly  that i plan to do...getting married in a masjid, marriage contract, henna party etc....the problem s my FI's mother is Christian and lots family an friends r Christian as well...now most of the people that i plan to invite don't drink or wouldn't  mind if there wasn't any alcohol....but my FI is like his ppl will b expecting it and he wants to have an open bar which i've been told is MAJORLY EXPENSIVE!  i was thinking of doing some signature alcohol and non-alcoholic drinks and wine and beer 4 his fam and friends to cut down on the cost?  i just don't know? help??????
Prophet Muhammad(pbuh)said:"Nikah(marriage)is my Sunnah. He/She who shuns my Sunnah is not of me.?

Re: Drinks or no Drinks

  • chaudhryschaudhrys member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would reccomend doing a consumption bar only if you are going ahead with alcohol at the wedding.  There is no point paying a hefty fee when a large portion of your party will not drink. 

    Both my fiance and I are muslim so we are technically having a dry wedding. But many of our generation family and all of our friends do drink.  So we chose a venue with the hotel bar just outside our reception space.  We will put a credit card down and people can drink from there as they like. 

    My brother ended up marrying someone who is hindu and had an open bar, no one in the family really seemed to say anything, so i'm guessing that a large of part of it depends on how open your family is. We are not doing the bar in the hotel, more for his extended family than mine.
  • edited December 2011
    My husband and I decided against having any alcohol at our reception. We are Muslim and because not only consuming alcohol is forbidden, the selling or purchase of it is also haraam. Also, sitting with those who are consuming is forbidden. Some members of my husband's family who are not practicing drink and expect to see it. My family members (myself been raised Catholic and many of my family members not even associating themselves with any faith) are expecting to see it. We've chosen to have a lottttttt of apple cider, the martenelli things. They're bubbly and fun with 0% alcohol! Yayy! :P
  • edited December 2011
    I would either have a cash bar outside the reception room.

    and do not pay for it if your are uncomfy with the idea.

    it is haram to sell/ drink/ be around alcohol.

    when i had my kateb ketab ceremony and reception I told everybody that if they wanted to drink their was a bar in the hotel, so they could pay for the drinks themselves but have to drink outside the reception room.

    when anybody would try to come in with an alcoholic drink they were sent out.
    it worked out pretty good.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    we are using a the hotel bar for this purpose.  I'd rather not have it in the room but people are allowed to bring it in....
  • edited December 2011
    thanks for all the advice...im not totally unconfortable with the idea of alcohol, but for me its about the cost...my FI basically said his people expect it, and he's not willing to budge on that...im like most of my people could care less one way or the other so i was thinking just to offer beer, wine and signture cocktail, of course soda/juice
    Prophet Muhammad(pbuh)said:"Nikah(marriage)is my Sunnah. He/She who shuns my Sunnah is not of me.?
  • edited December 2011
    i have the same issue...my fiance's family is Muslim and my family is Catholic...I can't imagine what my family would do without alcohol, but I do not want to offend my fiance's family and, of course, it is haram. Do all reception areas have a bar outside the room?
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    well ive been thinking about having my wedding @ the library or musume....so there wont b a "traditional" bar i've been thinking about doing a cocktail hr...then during the dinner just sparkling ciders...i have a lot of time to get things worked out...were not techniquelly engaged yet...he's ask and i've said yes...BUT...my sister and brother-in-law (whose my wali) live out of the country...and he knows he has to meet them...b4 my yes really means anything
    Prophet Muhammad(pbuh)said:"Nikah(marriage)is my Sunnah. He/She who shuns my Sunnah is not of me.?
  • edited December 2011
    Hey, I actually have a similar issue. My FI and I are both Muslim and don't drink and his family is pretty religious, but my family not so much. So for my engagement party we had it at a hotel so whoever wants to drink could go to the bar if they wanted a drink, but kept it out of our party.
  • edited December 2011

    Having the same issue, my FI is Muslim is refuses to have a bar.  I am Christian and have NO intention of converting...plus I drink an occasional glass of wine.  There are battles to fight...so I opted for the hotel reception, not paying for the bar...but the hotel is available. 

    To cut cost even further...we are having a dessert only reception.

  • ssarangissarangi member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I agree, open bars are expensive, especially when only half of the people will actually drink but you have to pay for all of them.  We're running into the same issue so i'm leaning towards venues that allow me to bring in my own caterer and alcohol.  We have to have a certified bartendar, but can bring our own bottles.  We intend on returning any unopened bottles. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    well we've decided to keep it outside...his mother said she would put x down...cause she knows the family will expect some chamapgne...or wine...so i'm like fine...
    Prophet Muhammad(pbuh)said:"Nikah(marriage)is my Sunnah. He/She who shuns my Sunnah is not of me.?
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