Asian Weddings

Filipino Candle Sponsor Help

I am getting married in one month. My fiance is Filipino, I am not. We are having a traditional Catholic mass/ Filipino ceremony. During our meeting with the priest, we discussed the order of the ceremony, including lighting of the candles. The priest says the whole significance of the candles is the joining of two families. That is why our mothers light a candle each, and from those flames, we light our unity candle together. My future mother in law already picked all of the sponsors, including the candle sponsors - one is the girlfriend of one of my fiance's family members, and the other is my fiance's cousin. My mother in law wants the candle sponsors to light the candles, but the priest says the whole point is for our mothers to do it. Now they are discuissing having two different sets of candles on the altar - one set for the mothers and one set for the candle sponsors, and we are to light our unity candle with the flames from the candles our mothers lit. This all sounds too confusing to have all these candles on the altar. Should my mother in law have chosen a representative from each of our families to be the candle sponsors, that way it would resemble more of "the joining of two families"? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Re: Filipino Candle Sponsor Help

  • edited December 2011

    I think the priest may be a bit confused about this aspect of the Filipino wedding.  In Filipino tradition, you pick two people (normally husband and wife, but you can pick anyone really) who have helped the two of you as a couple.  While it could be ceremoniously tying the two families together, it is normally recognized by the phrase "two to light our way".  If you want to get very religious, you can say these are two people who have lit your way to God.

    In our wedding, we chose two very close friends of ours that have helped us a lot as a couple.  They're people that we have always turned to for advice when we had some rough spots.  Our parents did not play a huge role in our ceremony, but both sets of parents walked us down the aisle.  I know in a lot of ceremonies, the mothers are given the role of lighting the tapers for the Unity Candle because the father gets to "give" the bride away. 

    HTH!

  • findmarilyfindmarily member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agree with the previous post! I'm getting married next year and our candle sponsors are close friends, almost like who you would pick as part of your entourage. I'm Filipino and my FI isn't - but I've attended (and been a Candle sponsor) many times.
    I haven't really seen any mothers lighting the candles, and as previous post said, parents don't have "an active role" in the wedding - they walk you down the aisle and have VIP seats :)
    Hope that helps!
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